Crying after orgasming...how common is it?

LegacyUser · 25-07-2011 02:24PM #1

I'm going unreg for this as I'm a regular poster here and a wee bit embarrassed to talk about it openly as I guess it's private. This is not a PI, Mods, as I'm not worried....more curious than anything else and just wanted to see if anyone else ever felt this way....

Had sex with my boyfriend this morning and after I came, I burst out crying. I can't explain the feeling...like a release and a mixed feeling of emotions and not all of them good. I think I scared him as were only going out since April and I couldn't explain it. Sex between us is fantastic and I'm really attracted to him but after I had my cry (I got a grip fairly quickly as I was surprised by my own reaction), I felt this massive bond with him and I held him and didn't want to let him go but of course we had to get up and get on with our day and I felt sad. This kind of emotion is a little terrifying for me and I've never felt anything like that...what the hell was the crying about? Don't you cry when you're upset?

Do guys get this too?

baby and crumble · 25-07-2011 03:57PM

I think its way more common than anyone ever admits. Think about it, what an orgasm is is this huge build up of energy that gets released all in a flash. You can't control which emotions are there and which aren't. I think that once you become really emotionally invested in someone, you're more apt to begin to let yourself just be you, and vulnerable, which probably means releasing your emotions more. And like you said, you had this huge instinct for bonding afterwards, which is a hormonally driven response. it's natural if you ask me, and yes I've cried after orgasm a good few times. More times than my partner (who's also a girl) so I think it depends on the person.

Honey-ec · 25-07-2011 04:15PM

Can't say I've ever cried after an orgasm, no. I'm not a crier in general, though - I genuinely can't remember the last time I cried.

bronte · 25-07-2011 04:25PM

If it was intense then yeah...it depends on the humour at the time.

replica · 25-07-2011 04:37PM

My partner frequently cries after an orgasm...would agree that its a massive out burst of energy and emotion.

Then again she could be crying and thinking; 'Oh my God he is weoful in bed' or 'Oh my God he is brilliant in bed'

Monty Burnz · 25-07-2011 04:39PM

Bigwhingingbaby wrote: »

Do guys get this too?

I've never heard of it to be honest, but I'm familiar with your experience.

LegacyUser · 25-07-2011 04:54PM

It happened to my girlfriend once. I thought it might just have been tiredness (we'd been up for nearly 30 hours!), but the whole emotional release thing makes sense too.

gargleblaster · 25-07-2011 05:09PM

Monty Burnz wrote: »

I've never heard of it to be honest, but I'm familiar with your experience.

I get that you're familiar with her experience (crying after orgasm) - so I'm wondering now, what is it that you've never heard of?

Monty Burnz · 25-07-2011 05:33PM

gargleblaster wrote: »

I get that you're familiar with her experience (crying after orgasm) - so I'm wondering now, what is it that you've never heard of?

I never heard of men crying afterwards. I probably should have italicised 'your' to make my meaning clearer.

Ophiopogon · 25-07-2011 05:50PM

I've never heard of either sex doing this have to say.

I've never done it but as some else said I wouldn't be a crier in the first place,

I also don't see an orgasm as a release of emotions either so I don't really get it to be honest

sleepyescapade · 25-07-2011 06:46PM

It's happened to me a few times, not a big deal but it does leave you feeling a bit bewildered!

LegacyUser · 25-07-2011 08:59PM

This happened my Girlfriend once, and as a fella who had never experienced this I kinda wondered did I do something wrong. She assured me I didnt and couldnt have been happier, I got a massive hug off her.

(We were doing a long distance relationship thing for 6 months at the time) I went away with the thought afterward wondering in the back of my head "had she cheated on me and felt guilty".. I know my OH and know she wouldnt but the idea of her crying after coming put all sorts of thoughts into my head. As a fella all I can do is have a big smile on my face after so I couldnt understand it.

We spoke about it a year later, she remembered it, I told her what I thought at the time and she just laughed at me, was silly really. I would say though is tell your fella/partner everything is all right after, we wouldnt know where to look.

bluecatmorgana · 25-07-2011 09:36PM

The first place I heard of it was on scrubs when Turk apparently cried after orgasming.

If it makes you feel any better when I first started masturbating I used to have to cover my face when I orgasmed.

Lippy C · 25-07-2011 10:45PM

Yes its happened to me a couple times nothing to worry about its your body having a good time releasing all that energy

25-07-2011 11:17PM

Its common and its happened me before loads of times, its to do with the intensity of the release and in my opinion definitely a good sign!

Honey-ec · 25-07-2011 11:32PM

I have to ask, against my better judgment - do some ladies orgasm so rarely that it's this huge release of pent-up emotion/tension/feeling when they do? I'm genuinely not being facetious, but it just seems to me than an orgasm shouldn't be *that* big a deal...

gargleblaster · 25-07-2011 11:58PM

Can't speak for others of course but AFAIC it's not because orgasms themselves are rare (thank goodness!) but due to the intensity of the orgasm, combined with the level of intimacy and closeness with the other person.

Stheno · 26-07-2011 12:41AM

It can be a stress comedown also just reaching a point where you think of nothing else?

Contessa Raven · 26-07-2011 03:24AM

I remember a couple of years ago having a conversation with two of my friends and one of them said she'd had an orgasm with her bf and cried afterwards. My other friend then said that it had happened to her too with her ex. AFAIK it's quite common but it's never happened to me.

When I asked my friends about it they said it felt like the orgasm was just so good that they cried afterwards.

I always enjoy an oul' climax but I don't get the crying thing.

Elle Collins · 26-07-2011 10:52AM

That's very normal OP. Nothing to worry about there, in fact I'd take it as a sure sign that you're very emotionally close to your bf

LegacyUser · 26-07-2011 09:44PM

I've cried the odd time too (into the pillow, very quietly) but the difference was that I wasn't in a relationship with this guy, if you get me. Ahem. I didn't feel close him and I didn't want a relationship with him. I don't know if my crying meant that I was missing something, maybe the relationship as I'm single a long time. Or perhaps it was a pent up release. Who knows? But it's mighty confusing!

Rocket19 · 27-07-2011 11:05PM

Never cried, I'm not sure if I've missed out on something! lol

I have to say that I find the idea quite strange. I just couldn't imagine doing it myself.
I've slept with two guys, and neither brought me tears! I did feel a lot for my ex-bf though, so maybe I'm just not a crier!

LegacyUser · 28-07-2011 03:16PM

Sorry for hijacking the thread but while we're on the subject.

Only become sexually active this year. I'm late 20s and so i know i'm a late starter. With the most amazing guy and it finally felt like right time, right person etc... & have definitely been making up for lost time over the last few months

I really enjoy sex but i'm still unsure if i've ever orgasmed. If i'm honest i think half the problem is in my head. Its like I get to a certain point but then can never get over the edge if that makes sense? As I said I still really enjoy the whole thing & don't necessarily feel like something is lacking but it would be nice to experience this "big release" everyone speaks of & I know my OH would love to see that happen too. I know he sometimes feels guilty that he has climaxed and i'm left lingering in this high state of arousal that i just cant push passed.

Any insight? Tips?
Thanks

--LOS-- · 28-07-2011 03:59PM

used to happen a lot esp I think when you have sex less often and it's not just from orgasm either. I can see how it would freak people out!

Monty Burnz · 28-07-2011 04:34PM

newbieO wrote: »

Any insight? Tips?
Thanks

The usual advice is to try to get there on your own first, I think. Explore and stuff.

Honey-ec · 28-07-2011 06:38PM

newbieO wrote: »

I really enjoy sex but i'm still unsure if i've ever orgasmed.

Then you haven't. Believe me, you'd know if you had.

As Monty Burnz said, try and get there on your own first. Once you know what techniques etc. work for you, you can ask your boyfriend to try them on you. For what it's worth, very few women achieve orgasm through penetrative sex alone.

miec · 28-07-2011 10:32PM

I'm genuinely not being facetious, but it just seems to me than an orgasm shouldn't be *that* big a deal...

It can be, it can be incredibly mind-blowing. Op I often cry after orgasm because it has been such an intense experience, including when I self pleasure. For me the crying is another form of release, nothing to be worried about. I also laugh intensely afterwards too, it is just what comes up at the time.

MagicMarker · 28-07-2011 10:37PM

Happened to an ex of mine a few times, scared the crap out of me the first time. Other than that, no big deal really. Sounds common enough.

Count Duckula · 29-07-2011 09:06AM

Do women really climax that much more intensely? :eek: I've never got anywhere near crying after an orgasm as a man, but it seems that maybe that's just because the whole experience is less potent. I'm jealous :pac:

Maple · 29-07-2011 09:55AM

It's happened to me. Now I've not bawled crying or sobbed or anything, but yes I have felt the prickle of tears at the back of the eyelids.

I think it was a combination of factors, great physical pleasure and a release of emotions and stress.

Mostly tho, I just smile afterwards or if it's particularly epic I burst out laughing. Which has sometimes proved disconcerting to my sexercise partner.

29-07-2011 10:36AM

Never happened to me, beyond the usual tear reflex which also happens when I laugh a lot. But it's not actually crying, which seems to be what's under discussion here. Never heard of it before either

Crying after orgasming...how common is it?

Comments