Public speaking petrifies me

LegacyUser · 15-08-2011 10:58AM #1

So I have to give a presentation tomorrow and I'm absolutely petrified. I know the topic pretty well and I've practised a few times so that's not the problem.

I just have a complete mental block when it comes to public speaking. I start shaking and my voice goes mad and in the past I've been known to have panic attacks. I'm just not sure that I can do it, or if I do that I won't make an absolute show of myself.

I know, I know - I'm not going to die and nothing absolutely woeful will happen. Worst case scenario I'll end up looking like an eejit for the ten minutes I'm up there and people will feel really uncomfortable and sorry for me.

Nevertheless I am petrified. Honestly this has been hanging over me for months and has completely ruined the last week of my life! I don't know what to do.

I thought maybe of going to the doctor and asking for some knd of mild relaxant I could take tomorrow morning which might combat the pounding heart, dry mouth situation. See I usually associate these feelings with a panic attack and there's a very thin window where it's fight or flight and I'm afraid I'll panic.

Help please!

LegacyUser · 15-08-2011 06:25PM

Oh I remember it well - I found acting a part got me through! So think of someone whose presenting style you admire, beit a lecturer, manager etc, and practice that style. I used to think of a lecturer who I always found interesting and just sort of pretended to be her. It worked for the first few and then suddenly one day I went in and wasn't nervous anymore. Knowing your subject matter is more than half the battle, then you feel superior to your listeners and you can explain to them like you're their teacher.
One last pointer - with fear you are likely to stare at the screen or the floor - physically force your eyes around the room, you don't have to see them, but eye contact with the audience is a must. Just a sweeping glance every now and again.
All the best, let us know!

Sound Bite · 15-08-2011 07:48PM

I remember that feeling too.

Remember you probably know a lot more about the topic than anyone listening to you. Take confidence from this. Most people will only be partially tuned in anyway.

If it helps, pick out 2/3 of the nicer member of the audience and focus on them. Do all your eye contact with them and do not look at anyone you think may intimidate you or make you feel nervous, if that's what you are worried about.

Also have a class of water to hand and take sips of it and time you feel the need.

Best of luck with it.

mikewest · 15-08-2011 10:23PM

Probably to late for this.

First when you walk up to give your speech imagine everyone there in the audince is naked, stark bollok naked.
And not just naked most of them are wearing silly hats, now you can't look at them because you will just start laughing, just look at the back wall, o.k where are those notes, thats right, just start speaking, nice and steady, don't rush, keep up a steady rhythm, you know this subject inside out, keep talking, oh look that is an odd light fixture, keep talking nice and steady, o.k. finished.

Sounds simple but that is how many of the pro's do it. Very few people can interact with an audience while giving a speech. Being nervous is very normal and good if you channel your nerves into timing your delivery.
Good luck tomorrow

LegacyUser · 15-08-2011 10:51PM

I went through this for years when I was in college. I did some lecturing on the side as a postgrad, and lost a lot of sleep and meals as a result of the stress it caused me. Anything especially important (conference presentations etc.) that I knew were coming up with lots of advance warning were the worst; in the months before I'd be generally nervous about it and get a bit stressed, stop sleeping properly, and a couple of weeks out I'd break out in a rash and lose my appetite, and be pretty sick for the few days before. As soon as the talk was over I'd be fine, but physically wrecked from the past few weeks.

I just got on with it, and didn't pay attention to just how badly it affected me. I mentioned this to my doctor shortly before giving a presentation last year (a couple of years after escaping college), and he was surprized I hadn't done anything about it at the time. He was able to prescribe a few things to help with the symptoms I was having, which worked pretty amazingly. I wish I'd done something about it before then.

Probably overkill for a one-off presentation, but if its really affecting you that badly it would be worth talking to your GP next time you're in with them.

I thought I'd post this up incase anyone else reads this post and is in a similar situation.

LegacyUser · 16-08-2011 08:34AM

Breathe - when nervous our breath tends to shorten.

Breath deeply and calmly throughout.

Take pauses.

Also, can you hand anything out to the audience - photocopies of charts maybe? I used to find that handing it out at the start of a presentation meant that people would look down at it rather than at me for the first minute and I could direct them to look at "chart 2 in front of you" (which was also on the projector).

I've a best man speech to deliver soon - I've been learning it off for a week now. Remember that people are rooting for you.

mikemac · 16-08-2011 10:39AM

Desensitive yourself to it
It's grand to read about these vision and breathing tips but will you remember when you are on the spot?
And talking to yourself in the mirror is no substitute for the real thing

Head along to toastmasters and work away.
And you may stumble and verbal tic and mess it up the first few times but every single time you will get better and by the end you'll enjoy speaking

mikemac · 16-08-2011 10:40AM

Ah, your presentation was today

Well report back and tell us how you got on

LegacyUser · 16-08-2011 02:51PM

Right so - OP back here again. Thanks for all the advice!!

I have to admit I totally chickened out and resorted to the Doctor option yesterday evening. He prescribed the lowest dose of xanax and I have to say it worked like a charm.

Now I was still nervous and had the whole dry mouth, shaky voice bit at the start but once I got into it was fine. Managed to constantly make eye contact and even spoke a bit longer on certain areas than I intended to.

While I'm not an advocate generally of resorting to these types of measures because it really only hides a real problem. The fact that I successfully presented to a room of people once, didn't keel over, didn't have a panic attack etc makes me so much more confident to do another - this time without the aid of any crutch. For me, I knew that getting the first one done would be a mile stone for me. I know that the xanax played its part in preventing me from being totally panicky but I think having one under my belt has somewhat cured me!!

From now on I'll try to put myself forward for these types of things. Practise makes perfect!

For anyone else in the same boat I would recommend going to the GP and getting something to take the edge off - just for that first one. That way you'll prove to yourself you can do it and the next time won't be half as daunting.

zxcvbnm1 · 17-08-2011 01:41PM

OP - I didn't see your original post until it was too late.

But a prescription of xanax was exactly waht i was gonna suggest.

I have used xanax many times for various situations like yours and it works a treat.

I certainly wouldn't look on it as chickening out as you so referred to it.
If there is something out there that can assist you in these situations then why not take advantage.

Wolfe Tone · 22-08-2011 05:04PM

What does the xanax do?

I get pretty nervous at these type of things, but because I'm a glutton for punishment I joined debating clubs etc...

I still sh!t myself but one of the best things to do is to start with some sort of joke, although thats a dangerous game, if it bombs you will feel the pressure! But a laugh, and a bunch of smiling people looking at you rather than the usual surly group make it much easier.

Pretend to be confident and soon you will be!

One thing I did was deliberately give an unprepared, utterly sh!te presentation in order to see that doing so was not the end of the world.

If you feel yourself panicing and your mouth starting to run off with itself, stop, and take a deep drink and calm yourself down.

later12 · 23-08-2011 04:10AM

The OP had demonstrated a very non-traditional response that works and I completely agree with him or her.

When I first got involved in the students' union at my university (always evening meetings), I would regularly have a vodka or a scotch and sail through the meeting as happy as larry. When I became accustomed to the idea that nothing scary ever happened at these meetings I weaned myself off doing so, and strolled into these meetings sober and relaxed.

People often these chemical relaxants far too quickly, in my opinion. Well done OP for going with the practical option, and I'm sure you will do fine on your own the next time or over the coming occasions.

Maple · 23-08-2011 09:12AM

OP's issue has been dealt with and reported back on.

Thread closed.

Maple

Public speaking petrifies me

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