Bingo!

corglass · 20-09-2011 1:12pm #1

Dougal
: I know! Well lure them into a giant bingo game!

Ted
: And how are we going to do that?

Dougal
: We'll print up some bingo cards on our printing press and... oh

Ted
: Yes, it's the lack of a printing press that lets us down there. Or bingo balls. Or a PA system. Or in fact, any bingo paraphernalia at all.

Dougal
: Damn. So near, yet so far.

El Weirdo · 20-09-2011 1:14pm

Fucking hell!

Ste_D · 20-09-2011 1:15pm

Careful now!

TheMilkyPirate · 20-09-2011 1:18pm

God, Ted. D'you remember that feller who was so good at fashion they had to shoot him?

yesno1234 · 20-09-2011 1:18pm

Father Jack: "They lie in wait like wolves, the smell of blood in their nostrils. Waiting, interminably waiting, and then..."

Father Dougal: I]nodding[/I "He's right, you know, Ted"

kfallon · 20-09-2011 1:21pm

"Ride me sideways was another one!"

foxyboxer · 20-09-2011 1:24pm

Sack ME!!!! Sack MEEEE!!!!

I made the BBC

thee glitz · 20-09-2011 1:25pm

Fr. Fitzgibbon, he looked like a cup.

whitewave · 20-09-2011 1:27pm

There are some very hairy babies on Craggy Island, and I think you are the hairy baby maker

-Trek- · 20-09-2011 1:32pm

And BINGO was his name-O!!!

Batigol · 20-09-2011 1:36pm

Sorry Ted. I was concentrating too hard on looking holy.

upandcumming · 20-09-2011 1:36pm

"And now off the ride Mrs O'Reilly!"

J. Marston · 20-09-2011 1:38pm

No, I'm fine.

mconigol · 20-09-2011 1:39pm

I don't beelieve it

oh wait wrong show....

Lady Chuckles · 20-09-2011 1:42pm

Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on GO ON!

BEASTERLY · 20-09-2011 1:44pm

There's even a Father Ted quote to describe After Hours:

''Sanctimonious scumbags.... Made my life a bloody misery!''

Plazaman · 20-09-2011 1:46pm

...and then I put an extension on my extension and now my house is in a circle.

Mickey H · 20-09-2011 1:51pm

Fr. Dougal: Hello Lynn.
Bishop Lynn Brennan: Don't call me Lynn you little prick, I'm a Bishop.
Fr. Dougal: Well done.

corglass · 20-09-2011 1:58pm

Father Jack: Drink!
Father Ted: No Father, it's just fizzy water.
Father Jack: Jacob's Creek chardonnay 1991!
Father Ted: You can tell just by the sound?

Gannicus · 20-09-2011 2:11pm

Quite possibly one of my most favourite scenes in the show.

Dougal: Oh wait Ted. Didn't I tell you Funland is coming to Craggy Island? It'll be here Saturday
Ted: Oh Its the fairground thing. I wouldn't be interested in that kinda thing to be honset
Dougal: They've got a Spider-baby.
Ted: A what?
Dougal: A Spider-baby. Its kin of a freak show thing. It's got the body of a spider but it's actually a baby.
Ted: How is it a baby? Does it have a nappy on it of something?
Dougal: No.
Ted: Does it have the head of a baby?
Dougal:Emm no.
Ted: Will if it looks like a spider and it doesn't actually gurgle at you or anything, how do you know it's actually a baby?
Dougal: They keep it in a pram.
Ted: Dougal are you absolutely sure about this? You're not confusing it with a dream you had or anything?
Dougal: No, honestly. I saw it on the news, honestly. Aww. Oh wait now. Now that you say it, it was a dream.
Ted: Have you been studying this like I told you? (Holds up the chart)
Dougal: Ah I have Ted yeah yeah. Sorry about that. But we should go anyway. C'mon it'll be great. Last year I had a go at the horse riding and it was just fantastic.
Ted: I didn't know you could ride horses.
Dougal: Well it wasn't a real horse Ted. It was this aul fella with a saddle on him. He musta been about 80 ya know? Of course he couldn't go very fast ya now, I was lashing him with the whip. Couldn't get much of a response out of him.
Ted: And how long where you up on him.
Dougal: Oh well. It must've been about an hour.
Ted: So, you were up on an 80 year old man, riding him around, whipping him for 60 minutes? You realise that image will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Dougal: I know Ted yeah. It's great isn't it? We should go.
Ted: No, I don't think I could take the excitement.

Irish Guitarist · 20-09-2011 2:15pm

"The Bucket residence. The lady of the house speaking."

Have I got it right?

Alter-Ego · 20-09-2011 2:16pm

"A child has been lodged in the tunnel of goats"

Irish Guitarist · 20-09-2011 2:20pm

"Am I bothered? Does my face look bothered?"

_feedback_ · 20-09-2011 2:20pm

The Ladder: "Keep your hands on the sides"

Irish Guitarist · 20-09-2011 2:22pm

"Yabba dabbo doo".

Am I doing this right?

foxyboxer · 20-09-2011 2:23pm

You've a face like a pair o' tits!

At least that's one pair between us!

FatherTed · 20-09-2011 2:32pm

"So then, you're a nun"

El Weirdo · 20-09-2011 2:54pm

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

"The Bucket residence. The lady of the house speaking."

Have I got it right?

Mildly amusing at best.

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

"Am I bothered? Does my face look bothered?"

Meh.

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

"Yabba dabbo doo".

Am I doing this right?

Did you ever hear the term, "Flogging a dead (my lovely) horse"?

Borat_Sagdiyev · 20-09-2011 2:56pm

I'm looking forward to your entry.

cherryghost · 20-09-2011 3:04pm

Ehhh... two pints!

gargleblaster · 20-09-2011 3:12pm

Get away from me! I don't want to catch the menopause!

Standard Toaster · 20-09-2011 3:24pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pGcE7IvCTs

corglass · 20-09-2011 3:33pm

Are those my feet????

mfceiling · 20-09-2011 3:58pm

Bye girls....pair of w*nkers....

Gannicus · 20-09-2011 4:00pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysZzWXe_mAw

LostGirly · 20-09-2011 4:14pm

Well i never, Tony im putting you on my list of ememies.. ur in for it now tony......HA only joking 'I really really like tony

Daemos · 20-09-2011 4:23pm

Nuns! Nuns! Reverse! Reverse!

jd007 · 20-09-2011 4:34pm

Whats your favourite humming noise?

Welruc · 20-09-2011 4:44pm

but they all have lovely bottoms

JustAddWater · 20-09-2011 4:55pm

How can a rabbit look like Harvey Keitel?

westendgirlie · 20-09-2011 5:08pm

Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These are very small; those are far away...

Irish Guitarist · 20-09-2011 8:06pm

El Weirdo wrote: »

Mildly amusing at best.

Meh.

Did you ever hear the term, "Flogging a dead (my lovely) horse"?

Sorry for not being as hilarious as everyone that typed out a bunch of Father Ted quotes.

mcgarry098 · 20-09-2011 8:22pm

Ted: and now comes Mary, doesnt she have a lovely bottom!

Other priest: u cant say that father, we had some trouble over it last year.

Ted: oh right i see,,,, BUT then again dont they alllll have lovely bottoms!!

Father Ted: Ah, Sister Assumpta!
Sister Assumpta: Hello Father!
Father Ted: Dougal, Dougal, do you remember Sister Assumpta?
Father Dougal: Er, no.
Father Ted: She was here last year! And then we stayed with her in the convent, back in Kildare. Do you remember it? Ah, you do! And then you were hit by the car when you went down to the shops for the paper. You must remember all that? And then you won a hundred pounds with your lottery card? Ah, you must remember it, Dougal!
[Dougal shakes his head]
Sister Assumpta: And weren't you accidentally arrested for shoplifting? I remember we had to go down to the police station to get you!... And the police station went on fire? And you had to be rescued by helicopter?
Father Ted: Do you remember? You can't remember any of that? The helicopter! When you fell out of the helicopter! Over the zoo! Do you remember the tigers?
[Dougal shakes his head some more]
Father Ted: You don't remember? You were wearing your blue jumper.
Father Dougal: Ah, Sister Assumpta!

Lady von Purple · 20-09-2011 8:26pm

I hear it's Ireland's largest lingerie department.

7sr2z3fely84g5 · 20-09-2011 8:29pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMRo5XCKddQ

Bingo!

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