Do you see yourself having children in the future?

Grindylow · 20-10-2011 09:01PM #1

So yeah, carrying on from a thread I saw in After Hours, I figured I'd start this here.. The thread was all about "would you die to save your child", and reading some of the replies, I just couldn't understand them because I'm not a parent..

Since all of us here are teenagers/early twenty-somethings, it seems fairly appropriate too! So back to the question.. do any of you see yourselves having children? If so, why? If not, why not?

As for myself, I'm not sure.. I like children and all, but I'm not mature enough to think about it all now, no idea why! I suppose it's really hard for teenagers who have children because they've to grow up so quickly..

So yeah, hopefully this thread will turn out well!

Aoifey! · 20-10-2011 09:18PM

I want to have kids some day, but not any time soon. I absolutely love kids, and although it's probably very hard to be a parent I think it'd be worth it in the long run. It must be amazing (and scary) knowing you have that big of an influence on someone's life, and that they're a part of you.

But I wouldn't want a child til I'm at least 25+. I want to go mad and have fun first before having that big of a responibility. But what happens happens and if I do end up getting pregnant before that then so be it. It'll work out in the end, it might just be a little different than planned

Colm! · 20-10-2011 09:25PM

I'm going to say this straight out: I've never once considered it, and I'll never know for sure far into the future. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. I haven't filled out my CAO form yet, it's far too early to be thinking about a family.

J_E · 20-10-2011 09:28PM

Definitely. Just not until I'm older and I'm settled.

SarahBeep! · 20-10-2011 09:28PM

I always thought I wouldnt but a few years ago I had a false positive on a pregnancy test and I wasn't able to get to a doctor for a few days. Over the few days when I thought I was I had convinced myself I'd be ok and since then it doesn't scare me.

It's something I really really want but not until I'm in my late 20s.

A couple of the lads call me mam and that's enough for now :P

Seren_ · 20-10-2011 09:31PM

Good thread Noel!

I'm really not sure... I like kids and all, but I don't know if I'd be able to cope with looking after one all the time. If it happened, I don't think I would be overly upset about it (unless I found out I was pregnant right now, in which case I would FREAK THE F*CK OUT - very unlikely that's gonna happen though

). I don't have any big plans to have kids though; would be kinda leaning on the no side, but if I was with someone and they really wanted kids, I'd consider it.

Salty · 20-10-2011 09:32PM

Definitely! Whenever this comes up in conversation with my friends, I'm always dubbed as being the one who'll have the most, and who'll have them earliest:o I must give off some kinda maternal vibe or something!

I love children, and I've never considered that I wouldn't have them..family is really important to me. In my head, children and my future go hand in hand..it's never been any other way for me. That said, the youngest I could ever have them is 25..before that you're just too young, and you have to live life just for you.

Aoifey! · 20-10-2011 09:49PM

_meehan_ wrote: »

Definitely! Whenever this comes up in conversation with my friends, I'm always dubbed as being the one who'll have the most, and who'll have them earliest:o I must give off some kinda maternal vibe or something!

Same here, we all made bets on who would have the first child, who would get married first, etc and wrote em all down. Everyone said I'd be the first to have a kid

Grindylow · 20-10-2011 10:00PM

Everyone here seems to want kids by 25+.. I don't think I could do that.

Like by the time I'm finished college, I'll be 23, going on 24 and then if I want to do a masters or whatever after that, I'd be nearly 26 in age.. Then I'd have to get a job etc...

The only time I can actually see it happening is when I'm on a good wage, with my own house in a place where I'd be happy to rear a family..

But yeah.. I'd really want a girl and a boy.. :P From growing up with 3 boys, it's SO awkward! Everyone pray you don't have all boys.. :pac:

J_E · 20-10-2011 10:14PM

No matter what anyone thinks or says, if I have a boy it WILL be called Noah or Oscar. Don't even ask, it's happening.

Lawliet · 20-10-2011 10:28PM

I've never wanted kids. I just don't like them; I don't think babies are cute, children being loud on public transport make me want to get off at the next stop and most of them are complete brats. People say it's different when it's your own children, but I think that would just make it worse: you'd be trapped with them! Your life would have to be put on hold because they always come first. The whole thing sounds like a nightmare.

Conor108 · 20-10-2011 10:36PM

Lawliet wrote: »

I've never wanted kids. I just don't like them; I don't think babies are cute, children being loud on public transport make me want to get off at the next stop and most of them are complete brats. People say it's different when it's your own children, but I think that would just make it worse: you'd be trapped with them! Your life would have to be put on hold because they always come first. The whole thing sounds like a nightmare.

+1000

Also 25 seems crazy young to have kids imo.

Pigwidgeon · 20-10-2011 10:52PM

Woah 25? That'd be like 4 and a half years... Not that soon.

I'd love to have kids someday, not loads or anything maybe two. Before I'd even consider it I want to have everything else I want to do done. I want to travel the world, I want a good job, I want a house and ideally I'd like to be married before I did. Seeing as I'll be 24 when I finish college I'd say around 30ish.

I definitely don't want them now, having had a similar scare to Sarah but with pretty much the opposite reaction. I completely freaked out. It's not for me any time soon.

Grindylow · 20-10-2011 11:06PM

Cydoniac wrote: »

No matter what anyone thinks or says, if I have a boy it WILL be called Noah or Oscar. Don't even ask, it's happening.

Just change the ah to el.. just two letters.. just two... :P

Don't do what my parents did and give me a name that starts with N, and initials OB... *sad face*

Jackobyte · 20-10-2011 11:10PM

I've always seen myself as having children, but not until I'm settled down with a wife and a house. I've always loved the idea of having a "daddy's little girl", a real stereotypical Hollywood father-daughter relationship. I think 3 would be a nice size as well. 2 and 1 split either way.

But, definitely. I've never really considered not having children.

Jackobyte · 20-10-2011 11:14PM

Noel2k9 wrote: »

Just change the ah to el.. just two letters.. just two... :P

Don't do what my parents did and give me a name that starts with N, and initials OB... *sad face*

In Irish college there was a Bob O' Brien so both his initials and his name where the same. We found it very amusing.

Aoifey! · 20-10-2011 11:17PM

I think the reason I think 25 is an okay age is that (as long I don't have to repeat or anything) I'll be done my course when I'm 20 so I'll have 5 years to do whatever I want after college before considering children.

Grindylow · 20-10-2011 11:21PM

Probably a silly question :P But does anyone think they've met the person they'd want to start a family with yet? I ask 'cos most of the people I know in their mid twenties/early thirties who have families have been with their partners since 18-20!

wnolan1992 · 20-10-2011 11:25PM

I hope not... really think I'd just be the worst parent ever... and I hate kids with a passion. Can't stand them. I literally am tempted to go over and smack kids that cry in public....prime example of this, standing around waiting for a lecture one day, next thing, screaming and shouting starts coming from the restaurant nearby, like someone was getting butchered or something. After about five minutes of ear piercing screaming, words began to come through "HE STOLE MY PENCIL!!!!! IT'S MY PENCIL!!!! HE STOLE IT OUT OF MY PENCIL CASE!!! HE'S ALWAYS STEALING MY STUFF!!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDD!!!!!"

Also, I'm not exactly very assertive, so the idea of me trying to tell my kid to go to bed, or that they can't go out at the weekend is, frankly, laughable.

But a caveat to this would be if I fell in love with someone who desperately wanted kids.... I'd probably consider it an option then if it was what was required to keep them happy...

ohthebaby · 20-10-2011 11:28PM

Honestly, I don't really like children so much, they really irritate me but I always kind of assumed I'd have some of my own. Two at most. I think I would like my own children. I hope I would. It'd be nice to have them. Although I don't think I'd like to have any until I was nearly 30. I'm 20 now so having children by the time I'm 25 scares me a lot. I don't know what I'm doing with my life at all so I don't know how I'd cope looking after another life and factoring that into mine.

My boyfriend and I were actually just talking about this yesterday and we were just like lol when we thought of us with a baby. Stuff is complicated enough right now without a child ever happening. Plus we are too young and too stupid right now. So yes, let's hope that doesn't happen. *touch wood touch wood touch wood*

Although he is very good looking so I'd have beautiful children. That would be some consolation I suppose.

wnolan1992 · 20-10-2011 11:33PM

ohthebaby wrote: »

Honestly, I don't really like children so much, they really irritate me but I always kind of assumed I'd have some of my own. Two at most. I think I would like my own children. I hope I would. It'd be nice to have them. Although I don't think I'd like to have any until I was nearly 30. I'm 20 now so having children by the time I'm 25 scares me a lot. I don't know what I'm doing with my life at all so I don't know how I'd cope looking after another life and factoring that into mine.

My boyfriend and I were actually just talking about this yesterday and we were just like lol when we thought of us with a baby. Stuff is complicated enough right now without a child ever happening. Plus we are too young and too stupid right now. So yes, let's hope that doesn't happen. *touch wood touch wood touch wood*

Although he is very good looking so I'd have beautiful children. That would be some consolation I suppose.

I love the fact that with your username you don't like babies. :pac:

Stacey. · 20-10-2011 11:33PM

Nope, I really doubt I'll have children. And if I were to, I'd never have my own, I'd adopt.

J_E · 20-10-2011 11:38PM

Stacey. wrote: »

Nope, I really doubt I'll have children. And if I were to, I'd never have my own, I'd adopt.

Is there a specific reason for that? Don't feel obliged to say if you don't want to.

Stacey. · 20-10-2011 11:41PM

Cydoniac wrote: »

Is there a specific reason for that? Don't feel obliged to say if you don't want to.

I just don't like the idea of being pregnant etc really :P Also there is that small risk you can die..I know and have been told over about how unlikely that is, but as I know someone that it happened to, it sorta scares me.

Salty · 20-10-2011 11:50PM

Noel2k9 wrote: »

Probably a silly question :P But does anyone think they've met the person they'd want to start a family with yet? I ask 'cos most of the people I know in their mid twenties/early thirties who have families have been with their partners since 18-20!

*puts hand up*

I've been with him nearly 5 years now..rock solid tbh!:p

I know most people think 25 is very young to even consider starting a family, but what scares me is the thought of leaving it too late, and having a higher risk of conceiving a child with a disability, or having difficulty conceiving at all.

It's happened in my family..disability, difficulty conceiving..my baby cousin died a year and a half ago, he was only 7 months old..the grief was unlike anything my family had felt before..his mum was 40 when she had him.

wnolan1992 · 20-10-2011 11:56PM

_meehan_ wrote: »

It's happened in my family..disability, difficulty conceiving..my baby cousin died a year and a half ago, he was only 7 months old..the grief was unlike anything my family had felt before..his mum was 40 when she had him.

I can relate.... tbh, a major factor in my decision is the disability factor, plus, a LOT of infant deaths in my immediate family... I honestly don't think I'd be strong enough to deal with either of those possible outcomes....

Grindylow · 21-10-2011 12:09AM

Triplets run in my family.. I don't know whether it's a blessing or a curse..... :eek:

Aoifey! · 21-10-2011 12:28AM

Noel2k9 wrote: »

Probably a silly question :P But does anyone think they've met the person they'd want to start a family with yet? I ask 'cos most of the people I know in their mid twenties/early thirties who have families have been with their partners since 18-20!

Hmm, we've been together 3 years so maybe. But I dunno, I'm still young so you never know what could happen.

Marshmallowie · 21-10-2011 12:31AM

I can't see myself having kids, even though my friends will tell me this will change as I get older- but I don't know! I don't think I'd have the patience for them!

And if I do end up getting "broody", babies will not be coming out my uterus!!! It'll be adoption or maybe by then there will be some medical way for men to carry the children! HA!

Salty · 21-10-2011 12:33AM

Noel2k9 wrote: »

Triplets run in my family.. I don't know whether it's a blessing or a curse..... :eek:

Great craic is what it is:p

wnolan1992 · 21-10-2011 07:32AM

Noel2k9 wrote: »

Triplets run in my family.. I don't know whether it's a blessing or a curse..... :eek:

Ah triplets are great. :pac:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dafpEJH3glE

cheesefiend · 21-10-2011 02:41PM

I would love to be a mother. I'm not ready now but in ten or fifteen years I hope to be. I really want to foster and maybe have one or two biological children. I think it would be fantastic. I actually think about it a lot. It's just in me I think. Even though I'm not good with kids I still love to be around them and they don't annoy me. But sometimes I do ask myself should I have them? Just because you want children doesn't mean you should have them. I don't know if I would make a good mother and I certainly don't want to have them if I can't provide for them properly.

Slow Show · 21-10-2011 04:21PM

ohthebaby wrote: »

Honestly, I don't really like children so much, they really irritate me but I always kind of assumed I'd have some of my own. Two at most. I think I would like my own children. I hope I would. It'd be nice to have them. Although I don't think I'd like to have any until I was nearly 30.

This pretty much. I'm not a maternal person at all really, well like I have a niece and a nephew who I love to bits, and I don't mind babysitting, granted I have a regular babysitting job with one of the most well-behaved kids ever so yeah. But anyway, quite a lot of kids annoy me. Well, all the bratty, loud kids do anyway. Anywho, I dunno, when I think about my future I think I see kids, I just feel like my life would be a bit empty without them...but maybe that's just because it's the general consensus around here...I swear, I have a cousin who hasn't settled down and had a family yet and I've heard various relatives offering theories that she's a lesbian. I know.

OK that's going nowhere but long story short, I don't really know whether want kids or not, I suppose I do but at the same time I wouldn't mind too much if my life ended up being career-driven either. Heh this post in one big waste of time.

Also, and you can all hold me to this, I will never have a bratty, stupid kid. Ever. *shudder*

Jamie Starr · 21-10-2011 04:29PM

This is an issue in which I show the rarely-aired softy side to my personality.:) Kids are great. People tend to think that because people they're constantly popping out left right and center, and that many of them grow up to be tossers, children aren't special. But when you think that the entire 'blueprint' for a human being, if you will, can be formed out of what is a pretty simple (AND FUN) act- all that potential for growth, for knowledge, the mystery of life and consciousness, the great experiences we can have- it's a mind-shatteringly powerful process to be involved in.

No doubt it's hard work, much of which we think goes unrewarded, but being a parent and knowing you helped invite another person into the world and helped them through it, it's fantastic. All those people that we know, or love, or enjoy as people were children once, so it's a great privilege to bring another interesting human being into the world, I think.

I grew up in a house full of children who weren't related to me, that are now like my little brothers and sisters, so I guess I've been exposed to the most excellent things about watching children grow up, that you don't really get to see on a bus trip or that family gathering you hate going to.

At the risk of sounding Michael Jackson-esque, I'll stop here, but sure, when the right time rolls around, I would really like to have children. (ALL YOU FEMALE BOARDSIES OUT THERE, WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE.)

Duffy the Vampire Slayer · 21-10-2011 08:31PM

Cydoniac wrote: »

No matter what anyone thinks or says, if I have a boy it WILL be called Noah or Oscar. Don't even ask, it's happening.

I'm going to feed my egomania by naming my children after famous historical figures. Napoleon Julius Vladimir Duffy will be first.

Namlub · 21-10-2011 08:48PM

If I have kids I want it to be like Outnumbered. Possibly with a bigger house. And an Aga cos I'm totes middle class <_<
But then I see kids, like one of my cousins, who are just so...loud and they need to be doing things all the time, and you can't take your eyes off them for a second because they'll jump out a window or set the house on fire or something. And it terrifies me that I too could raise children who are little shits. So I'm not sure.

decisions · 21-10-2011 08:48PM

I don't know, but if I do, name suggestions anyone..?

Cakes. · 21-10-2011 09:34PM

Noel2k9 wrote: »

Triplets run in my family.. I don't know whether it's a blessing or a curse..... :eek:

I thought it was the female that carries the genes for triplets and twins and stuff, if I was told right don't be worried :P

I want kids, I definitely want kids! :pac:

I want a lot, like 5, but I don't want them until I'm about 30 and have travelled and everything :P

And I want a house and stuff to raise them in.

KnifeWRENCH · 21-10-2011 11:10PM

Lawliet wrote: »

I've never wanted kids. I just don't like them; I don't think babies are cute, children being loud on public transport make me want to get off at the next stop and most of them are complete brats. People say it's different when it's your own children, but I think that would just make it worse: you'd be trapped with them! Your life would have to be put on hold because they always come first. The whole thing sounds like a nightmare.

This times a million.

I can think of very few things that would be worse than me being a parent. I hate kids, I don't know how to deal with them and I hate people thinking I'm strange for being that way. Children rob of freedom, money and (quite often) dignity, and my hypothetical would ruin my life and I'd just resent them for it. I'm not being responsible for another human being just 'cause it's "the done thing".

My genes, to the gratitude of all mankind, are never being passed on.

J_E · 21-10-2011 11:47PM

decisions wrote: »

I don't know, but if I do, name suggestions anyone..?

Could always do a spin on this one: http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h33-440

Davidius · 22-10-2011 04:05AM

I used to be all for the idea. Leaving a genetic legacy sounds like grand old craic, as does the (usually) necessary sex that precedes it. Now I'm not all that into the idea. I don't have an aversion to it but it would probably just follow naturally from the circumstances if it were to happen. I'd have to approach an eligible female though, which is clearly impossible and not worth attempting.

I don't think the younger years are the biggest problem with children. The hardest part for me would be dealing with them once they mature into teenagers/adults. Then they become people, and the thing about people is they tend to have all these stupid problems and feelings. It would be a lot worse being a father because you're exposed to more of this nonsense and you end up in some weird quasi-estranged state if you don't respond in some acceptable manner that I haven't figured out. The inevitable results are kids that hate you and a great feeling of disappointment in what came of your love-seeds.

Of course this all changes when somebody figures out how to distill all of the good personality traits and physical features in one person and put them into another, genetically similar foetus-like person.

Now that I think about it, I don't see much point in a long term relationship that doesn't lead to kids. I'd think if I'm going to spend my life childless I'd rather do it alone so I can go on adventures and shít.

Lawliet · 22-10-2011 09:09AM

Cydoniac wrote: »

Could always do a spin on this one: http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h33-440

Hey! That's a perfectly acceptable name.

QueenOfLeon · 22-10-2011 12:14PM

I like the idea of having kids (I'm one of those coo at babies people

)...but I'll only be out of college at 24, and I think it would be extremely pointless spending all these years working hard just to only work properly for 2/3 years and then start having kids. So it will definitely not be happening before 30!

I also spent so many years babysitting bunches of little terrors though, it really put me off having kids at the time. I think I'd still have them but my kids will not be brats :pac:

Salty · 22-10-2011 12:29PM

Cakesofrice wrote: »

I thought it was the female that carries the genes for triplets and twins and stuff, if I was told right don't be worried :P

I want kids, I definitely want kids! :pac:

I want a lot, like 5, but I don't want them until I'm about 30 and have travelled and everything :P

And I want a house and stuff to raise them in.

You'll be hard pressed trying to find a girl who'll happily go through birth 5 times:p

jefreywithonef · 22-10-2011 12:49PM

My grandmother went through at least fifteen (her and the husband must have been at it like rabbits).

As for the question, I don't know. The first five or so years would be grand (besides the nappy changing lark) but it'd be a nightmare after that. I was a right little shít up until about the age of thirteen when I copped the fúck on and hopefully made life significantly easier for the 'rents. Seemingly though most teenagers use these years to become über-annoying so it's unlikely that any of my potential offspring would do a jefrey and stop being a twat at a decent age.

Passing on my genes would be kinda sadistic too so there's that.

Also, I hope no one plans on naming their son after themselves. Calling someone 'x Junior' has to be one of most cúnty things ever. Come up with a cool name instead like Hilary or something.

EuropeanSon · 22-10-2011 02:50PM

Not till I'm about 35 at the very earliest, and even then, maybe not.

Screaminmidget · 22-10-2011 02:51PM

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

I'm going to feed my egomania by naming my children after famous historical figures. Napoleon Julius Vladimir Duffy will be first.

Its about time they brought the name adolf back....

Yes, I want kids, Not right now, but when im 30ish..
Ffs, Ive picked the names out already... :P

Davidius · 22-10-2011 03:16PM

jefreywithonef wrote: »

Calling someone 'x Junior' has to be one of most cúnty things ever.

Agree with you there. It is better to merely give them labels such as "x_1" and "x_2" etc. What other choice is there when your own name is really good? For example I'd call my kids David_1, David_2,...,David_n. They would get to call me Zero instead of 'Dad'.

wnolan1992 · 22-10-2011 03:24PM

Davidius wrote: »

Agree with you there. It is better to merely give them labels such as "x_1" and "x_2" etc. What other choice is there when your own name is really good? For example I'd call my kids David_1, David_2,...,David_n. They would get to call me Zero instead of 'Dad'.

If I could call my kid David_n-1 I'd reconsider my position on this subject! :pac:

Salty · 22-10-2011 04:39PM

Screaminmidget wrote: »

Its about time they brought the name adolf back....

Yes, I want kids, Not right now, but when im 30ish..
Ffs, Ive picked the names out already... :P

You're not the only one:o:p

On the subject of parents calling their children after themselves, I think it's grand as long as there's some kind of variation. For example, my sister's name is the Irish version of my mum's. My brother is called directly after my dad (James) but it works because my dad is universally known to everyone as Jim.

QueenOfLeon · 22-10-2011 04:41PM

_meehan_ wrote: »

You're not the only one:o:p

G'wan, spill! :P

Do you see yourself having children in the future?

Comments