Eating disorder advice

LegacyUser · 01-04-2012 02:36PM #1

Hi Guys

Need your advice on this as I am totally shocked and have no idea what I should do to help a person.

I have just discovered that my girlfriend of 4 months has an eating disorder, I don't know what exactly it is but I think it may be bulimia?

Basically she lies that she is eating at mine to her parents and tells me she has already eaten, she makes up stories of what she has for lunch and from what i gather she will make herself sick after eating at times. She won't talk much about this apart from when she broke down yesterday as she told me for the first time.(she had put on weight) She wanted a break form me because I make her eat (its not like i force her to eat we just eat normally when we are together) and she knew she was getting better.

I always knew she "looked after her weight" but as far as i was concerned it was healthy eating and the gym. She is a slim girl but doesn't show or rather didn't show any signs of a problem. its only now when I look back i realise that there were signs..... going to the bathroom straight after eating, tired easily and run down.

I don't know how to approach this?

The Princess Bride · 02-04-2012 10:34AM

The fact that she has admitted this to you,could be an indication that she realises it is time to get help.
This is not something she can do without professional help,however,and it will not be easy on your relationship - which,lets face it,is in the early stage.

Best advice anybody here can offer,is for her to contact her/ a GP, and ask for a referral to a specialist.As(I assume?) she is an adult,only she can decide whether or not she is ready for this step.
www.bodywhys.ie

Best of luck.

moongal · 23-04-2012 05:46PM

Hey,
The fact that your girlfriend admitted to you that she has an eating disorder, may not seem it, but is a wonderful thing, it means she trusts you. The only thing you can do in this case is ask how she is and be there for her. Make sure you do as much research as possible on ED's and how to support someone with one and let her talk about it. Please remember that there are a lot of emotions that go with an eating disorder too, and often it will get the upper hand with her. Eating Disorders are cruel, controlling sons of bitches. Has she reached out for help yet? It is so important she does, one thing I have learned is she cannot do this alone, no matter how many times she tries to tell herself this she will need help and support.

All the best
xx

Larianne · 30-12-2012 02:39PM

Sorry to be hijacking an old-ish thread..

I've a friend who is suffering from anorexia. I want to help her get help. Could someone outline to me what the exact steps are to get help. I want to be able to outline to her what will happen when she gets help as going from past experiences, its the not knowing what to do, where to go, what will happen, that can stop people from seeking help.

So after going to a doctor, what happens? Will she be referred to St. Pats or a counselling service? Would it be in-patient or out-patient at St. Pat's?
How long will that take? How long would treatment last for?

Thanks!

jingler · 30-12-2012 02:58PM

Hi Larianne,
It is difficult to witness a friend in the grip of an eating disorder. Support is what your friend needs now even though, at times, they may want to shut you out completely. The bodywhys website www.bodywhys.ie is invaluable for someone in your situation. It provides a lot of very useful information and should guide you in the right direction. They are contactable by email or phone so you may like to talk to them directly about your friend's particular case.
I suffered from an ED in my younger years and I contacted bodywhys back then. I also went to my GP and was referred to St Vincents on an out-patient basis.
CGT was a breakthrough for me and I did this privately years later. There are lots of options out there- it's a case of finding something that suits.
Best of luck to you and your friend

Larianne · 30-12-2012 08:10PM

Thanks Jingler for your reply. Can I ask you, if you can remember, how long it was before you got an appointment as an outpatient following your GPs referral and what the treatment consisted of? Counselling? Dietician imput? I want to have a clear idea of what my friend will face so she's prepared for it.

I've researched the bodywhys website before but I think I may give them a ring just so I know what to expect regarding response from my friend etc and how best to approach the subject.

WildRosie · 30-12-2012 09:40PM

Sorry to hear about what your friend is going through. There is a lot of different treatment options but her GP should be her first port of call.

John of God's do a structured eating disorder programme. I think it can be done either in or out patient. From what I know, it's about 12 weeks long and it may start as in patient and then change to day hospital as the patient improves. It varies, depending on the patient.

A friend of mine was treated there on an inpatient basis. The beginning was a kind of a stablisation phase and what happened next depended on her progress. There's a lot of group therapy and occupational therapy, how to cook healthy meals etc. They go on trips as well. It's a lot less "hospitally" than the other programmes but they do stay on a general ward.

A lot will depend on what she wants. Has she got help before? They will probably try out patient with her first unless admission is medically necessary. My friend was referred to a psychiatrist by her GP and when she kept losing weight she was admitted.

Best of luck getting help for your friend, I hope she gets on the road to recovery soon.

Larianne · 30-12-2012 11:11PM

Thanks for your reply WildRosie. That's a great help. I want to arm myself with enough information so I can tell her some options that are available to her.

jingler · 31-12-2012 10:09AM

Larianne wrote: »

if you can remember, how long it was before you got an appointment as an outpatient following your GPs referral

and what the treatment consisted of? Counselling? Dietician imput?

I've researched the bodywhys website before but I think I may give them a ring just so I know what to expect regarding response from my friend etc and how best to approach the subject.

Bear in mind that this was over 10 years ago so how waiting lists are now, I can't say but it was pretty quick after seeing my GP that I got an appointment.

Again, I do hope that time, experience and more knowledge of EDs has improved but I found the service offered by St Vincents to be sadly lacking all round. I had appointments with counsellors- a different person each time and had to rehash everything from the start for the benefit of the new person each time despite them having a file on me (With a big PSYCHIATRIC stamp on it:rolleyes:).
There was no nutristionist/dietician.
It came down to availing of what we could afford and going private was not an option- although now, many insurance companies actually cover treatment of EDs which is excellent.
I left the programme at St Vincents feeling angry and disillusioned. It wasn't until I could afford to see a counsellor myself that I felt I was getting somewhere. I paid an hourly rate and saw her weekly. We built up a relationship that I had not been able to do in Vincents.

I think speaking to someone at bodywhys is a great idea, Larianne. Any dealings that I had with them were positive . I remember them as my first port of call and the people that I spoke to were wonderful.

WildRosie · 31-12-2012 11:11AM

jingler wrote: »

Again, I do hope that time, experience and more knowledge of EDs has improved but I found the service offered by St Vincents to be sadly lacking all round. I had appointments with counsellors- a different person each time and had to rehash everything from the start for the benefit of the new person each time despite them having a file on me (With a big PSYCHIATRIC stamp on it:rolleyes:).
There was no nutristionist/dietician.
It came down to availing of what we could afford and going private was not an option- although now, many insurance companies actually cover treatment of EDs which is excellent.
I left the programme at St Vincents feeling angry and disillusioned. It wasn't until I could afford to see a counsellor myself that I felt I was getting somewhere. I paid an hourly rate and saw her weekly. We built up a relationship that I had not been able to do in Vincents.

That's terrible Jingler. I really hope things have improved since then. Glad to hear you're doing well now. From my experience with my friend, I find eating disorders to be particularly cruel illnesses.

The Black Oil · 31-12-2012 08:20PM

GPs do not get much training in this area, some may prescribe anti-depressants and not do much else without being pushed. The support that's available to you can depend on your catchment area/where you live and your age.

I think the referral procedure in the public system may be something like GP > psychiatrist > assessment > treatment plan and community/adult mental health team (I believe ED specific training is improving in this area) > maybe back to GP now and then. Privately, you probably still need to go via a GP to set up a referral with a specific clinic, but check each one's website/criteria to be sure.

Best of luck and remember have some support for yourself, that's important, too.

Eating disorder advice

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