cant keep up with mate

LegacyUser · 09-09-2013 08:58PM #1

i have a friend i go drinking with. he will stay in mines come the weekend. i used to see this guy in the pub but never hardly seen him drunk. now that i am drinking with i realise i cant keep. he will drink for a coouple of days and it doesnt seem to affect him. i on the other hand get drunk very quick. the guy has been good to me and knows i have a lower limit and will make me buy tea or food. but the truth is i cant drink the same as him. i know other people who are alcoholic but even they takes breaks or go home when they get drunk. this guy drinks more than them and yet is always on the one level. how can i tell him i cant keep up without harsh or blaming him for my drinking

P. Breathnach · 10-09-2013 07:43AM

He's a friend. There should not be a problem saying it to him. From what you say, he clearly knows already that you have a lower capacity for alcohol than he has.

Take smaller drink measures - perhaps a glass when he takes a pint. Skip the odd drink, nursing the one you have when he orders another one. Take an occasional non-alcoholic drink, such as a glass of water.

Faith · 10-09-2013 08:07AM

Why do you feel that you have to keep up with him?

gugleguy · 10-09-2013 08:15AM

Why not 'keep up' by taking more soft drinks/ perrier water etc. I'm not going to suggest non alcoholic beer they taste awful to me - i subscribe to the take ur own medicibne priciple here

jester77 · 10-09-2013 08:42AM

Just drink at your own pace, it's not a competition.

L'prof · 10-09-2013 08:46AM

not able... wrote: »

i on the other hand get drunk very quick. the guy has been good to me and knows i have a lower limit and will make me buy tea or food. but the truth is i cant drink the same as him. i know other people who are alcoholic but even they takes breaks or go home when they get drunk. this guy drinks more than them and yet is always on the one level. how can i tell him i cant keep up without harsh or blaming him for my drinking

It sounds like he realises that you can't keep up with him already. Sounds like what you're really asking is "how do I tell him I don't want to go drinking with him anymore without being harsh or blaming him for my drinking". I may have picked that up wrong though!

December2012 · 10-09-2013 08:51AM

Or are you concerned about your friends level of drinking?

Do you think he drinks to excess / is an alcoholic?

Is that what you want to address with him?

10-09-2013 08:54AM

It doesn't seem to be any concern for whether he's an alcoholic or not, but more the OP doesn't want to come across as being inadequate. OP, you know your limits. Your friend knows their's. They seem to already acknowledge that you can't and aren't making fun of you, but are actively supporting you, by buying you tea or food instead. You don't have to keep up with anybody. Drink at your own pace, not their's.

ted1 · 10-09-2013 09:04AM

Drink bottles while he drinks pints. Straight off your reducing your intake.

But ideally you should try drinking at your own pace

miamee · 10-09-2013 11:01AM

How do you keep up with him? You don't. You already said you can't.

So you could meet him later in the night so that you drink less by starting later.
Drink more slowly
Don't get into rounds with him, just each buy at your own pace
Drink some non-alcoholic drinks in between if you are getting drunk too quickly

heretochat · 10-09-2013 11:32AM

What is it that the DrinkAware ad says: "The best pace to drink at is your own" - enough said..

Big Bag of Chips · 10-09-2013 11:50AM

I'm guessing you're quite young OP, and still feel a bit of "peer pressure". The only problem with that, is the only one putting you under pressure is yourself!

Don't get into rounds with him. If he drinks faster than you, then he won't think bad of you for wanting to stick at your own pace. So when you go out, just both of you buy your own, then neither of you are under pressure.

Staying out of rounds will not hurt his feelings! It will not make you look like a cheap-skate or a wimp. It will not make you look foolish. What WILL make you look foolish, or like a wimp will be forcing back drink, to try keep up.

You are an adult. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone, and it looks like your friend doesn't need you to prove yourself to him. Make your own decisions. Be confident in your decisions, and everyone around you will respect that.

LegacyUser · 10-09-2013 04:06PM

the guy stays with me as a result i tend to start drinking earlier during the day where i prefer starting at night. we dont do rounds. but i am worried about my own drinking and wants to slow down or possibly stop it. its not peer pressure i enjoy having him around but hate these 2 or 3 day benders. also i have met people before who are big drinkers but this guy seems to have a really strong metabolism

LegacyUser · 10-09-2013 10:58PM

the guy does drink alot but it doesnt seem to effect him much. you wouldnt know to look at him at that he is pissed. but im worried about my own drinking. him and friend called to me last week and i started drinking but stayed on a bender for a few and almost got barred from my local. he on the other hand took it in his stride and seems to have a very tolerance.

i hate saying no to people and like the company

Big Bag of Chips · 11-09-2013 06:57AM

But you don't have to drink alcohol with him. Start with a pint of Cidona, or some other mineral and take it easy on that until you are ready to drink.

The fact that you are starting to drink earlier than you would like, and then drinking more than you are comfortable with means you do feel pressure to drink with him.

You keep mentioning his tolerance... That is irrelevant. The only tolerance you should be concerned with is your own.

LegacyUser · 12-09-2013 02:09AM

i suppose this is more about me and controlling my own drinking rather someone else. starting drinking too early is first problem second is starting the next morning if i am still pisssed from the night before third is i get a bit 'hyper' when i am drunk and others have to look after me i cant just go home.

also my tolerance to alcohol has been cut by about 2/3s so i cant handle what i used too

dellas1979 · 14-09-2013 09:39AM

Ahhh well, control your own drinking then. What your friends drink/pace is their business. And drinking isnt a competition or something to compare against or wonder why he doesnt get as pissed as you and feel bad about it.

Thats pure silliness. Like "keeping up with the jones'" but in a drinking sense.

You own your liver and brain.

Did you ever think he slags you about your pace because he is so insecure about his? i.e., if you keep the same pace as him, then the amount he drinks is "normalised". Thats fine for him. But what about you?

Also, are you afraid or something if you dont go drinking with them, youll loose them as friends?

LegacyUser · 15-09-2013 03:30PM

dellas1979 wrote: »

Also, are you afraid or something if you dont go drinking with them, youll loose them as friends?

yes actually

cant keep up with mate

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