Was my comment inappropriate?

Rhotheta · 13-03-2014 10:23AM #1

I got chatting to a woman who works in my office on a night out. Never spoke to her before, just noticed her gliding around the office. Anyway at one point I told her I thought she was beautiful and if I wasn't married I would attempt to chat her her up. She laughed and we chatted some more before making our way back to our friends. A colleague overheard and thought that comment was innapropriate as I'm a married man.

What is the opinion of after hours on the matter?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 13-03-2014 10:25AM

Rhotheta wrote: »

I got chatting to a woman who works in my office on a night out. Never spoke to her before, just noticed her gliding around the office. Anyway at one point I told her I thought she was beautiful and if I wasn't married I would attempt to chat her her up. She laughed and we chatted some more before making our way back to our friends. A colleague overheard and thought that comment was innapropriate?

What is the opinion of after hours on the matter?

Your colleague is a nut - what's wrong with paying someone a complimnet?

Virgil° · 13-03-2014 10:26AM

This colleague of yours, he obviously fancies you.

Roger_007 · 13-03-2014 10:26AM

Rhotheta wrote: »

I got chatting to a woman who works in my office on a night out. Never spoke to her before, just noticed her gliding around the office. Anyway at one point I told her I thought she was beautiful and if I wasn't married I would attempt to chat her her up. She laughed and we chatted some more before making our way back to our friends. A colleague overheard and thought that comment was innapropriate as I'm a married man.

What is the opinion of after hours on the matter?

There must be very little to chat about in your office.

sopretty · 13-03-2014 10:28AM

Rhotheta wrote: »

I got chatting to a woman who works in my office on a night out. Never spoke to her before, just noticed her gliding around the office. Anyway at one point I told her I thought she was beautiful and if I wasn't married I would attempt to chat her her up. She laughed and we chatted some more before making our way back to our friends. A colleague overheard and thought that comment was innapropriate as I'm a married man.

What is the opinion of after hours on the matter?

Ask your wife what she thinks?

Seriously though, on a professional level, it was inappropriate. She could have construed it as sexual harassment. Personally, I'd hate to have to work with some lecherous married dude who was gawking at me in the workplace.

Plazaman · 13-03-2014 10:28AM

Tell Eavesdropper Mc Earwig to mind their own business and take a hike.

ElleEm · 13-03-2014 10:30AM

Would you have said that comment in front of your wife?

It's fine to compliment someone, but personally, I don't think it is okay to say you would chat her up if you weren't married.

Rhotheta · 13-03-2014 10:33AM

sopretty wrote: »

Ask your wife what she thinks?

Seriously though, on a professional level, it was inappropriate. She could have construed it as sexual harassment. Personally, I'd hate to have to work with some lecherous married dude who was gawking at me in the workplace.

Noticing attractive members of the opposite sex is lechoursly gawking now? I assume you are asexual. :rolleyes:

Roger_007 · 13-03-2014 10:34AM

sopretty wrote: »

Ask your wife what she thinks?

Seriously though, on a professional level, it was inappropriate. She could have construed it as sexual harassment. Personally, I'd hate to have to work with some lecherous married dude who was gawking at me in the workplace.

You have to expect a bit of attention because you are 'so pretty'.:pac:

sopretty · 13-03-2014 10:37AM

Rhotheta wrote: »

Noticing attractive members of the opposite sex is lechoursly gawking now? I assume you are asexual. :rolleyes:

Telling a colleague you think they are beautiful is a bit creepy. I'd be getting the shivers every times I'd have to pass you, wondering what part of me you were admiring at any given time.

CarMe · 13-03-2014 10:37AM

I think it's quite peculiar to be honest.

AtomicHorror · 13-03-2014 10:38AM

Rhotheta wrote: »

Noticing attractive members of the opposite sex is lechoursly gawking now? I assume you are asexual. :rolleyes:

Noticing and telling are different verbs.

sopretty · 13-03-2014 10:38AM

Roger_007 wrote: »

You have to expect a bit of attention because you are 'so pretty'.:pac:

Lol.

eviltwin · 13-03-2014 10:39AM

sopretty wrote: »

Telling a colleague you think they are beautiful is a bit creepy. I'd be getting the shivers every times I'd have to pass you, wondering what part of me you were admiring at any given time.

Especially if that is the FIRST time you ever have spoken to her...what's wrong with a hello and an introduction?

Roger_007 · 13-03-2014 10:40AM

sopretty wrote: »

Telling a colleague you think they are beautiful is a bit creepy. I'd be getting the shivers every times I'd have to pass you, wondering what part of me you were admiring at any given time.

I think that could be easily narrowed down............?

galwayredgirl · 13-03-2014 10:40AM

Rhotheta wrote: »

Never spoke to her before, just noticed her gliding around the office.

Hang-gliding? Para-Gliding? How does one "glide" around an office?

Davarus Walrus · 13-03-2014 10:40AM

A work night out isn't considered a success unless some drunk married man attempts to chat up a female work colleague. Office infidelity is the finest form of infidelity.

Vito Corleone · 13-03-2014 10:41AM

Completely pointless comment tbh. Why say it?

Rhotheta · 13-03-2014 10:41AM

sopretty wrote: »

Telling a colleague you think they are beautiful is a bit creepy. I'd be getting the shivers every times I'd have to pass you, wondering what part of me you were admiring at any given time.

Shivers??

see a doctor about that.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 13-03-2014 10:42AM

Your colleague is an unsocial ass who should go back to the 60's whence he came.

Rhotheta · 13-03-2014 10:43AM

Vito Corleone wrote: »

Completely pointless comment tbh. Why say it?

Small talk drives me insane, I much prefer to say what I'm actually thinking. Life is generally more interesting that way I find.

eviltwin · 13-03-2014 10:45AM

Rhotheta wrote: »

Small talk drives me insane, I much prefer to say what I'm actually thinking. Life is generally more interesting that way I find.

A filter wouldn't go amiss. Its work, not the pub.

peejay1986 · 13-03-2014 10:47AM

I doubt she took it as anything offensive. Still, nothing a firm slap to the buttocks couldn't solve. That'll make sure things stay good and professional.

whitewave · 13-03-2014 10:48AM

galwayredgirl wrote: »

Hang-gliding? Para-Gliding? How does one "glide" around an office?

Is it like how nuns glide when they're out and about? They always seem to move really quickly but not be actually walking, kinda gliding along in their shiny white runners?

peejay1986 · 13-03-2014 10:48AM

Vito Corleone wrote: »

Completely pointless comment tbh. Why say it?

He had to say something. Would've been awkward otherwise.

Obliq · 13-03-2014 10:51AM

Rhotheta wrote: »

Noticing attractive members of the opposite sex is lechoursly gawking now? I assume you are asexual. :rolleyes:

Rhotheta wrote: »

Shivers?? see a doctor about that.

Not sure why you posted the question if you have already determined that it was completely ok to put a work colleague in the position of (potentially, as we don't know) feeling uncomfortable in your company?

loalae · 13-03-2014 10:53AM

I'd find it creepy if it was said to me in a work environment. The married part isn't the creepy part - it's just an inappropriate comment to make in a work place. Especially since you had never spoken to her before.

Boskowski · 13-03-2014 10:54AM

All about context and situation.
Some people will be flattered and ok about it some will have you down as the office creep.

Generally speaking it's probably not something I'd advise doing. What were you trying to achieve anyway? On paper it sounds you were at least fishing for something here. But then again it's all about the context and the situation. Only you can know for sure whether it was flirty and lighthearted and most importantly whether it has been perceived that way by your colleague or not or whether there was really more to it. Technically speaking even if you were fishing it would be ok if your colleague was on the same wavelength. Only you would know yourself.

But on paper and with no other info don't be doing that. Not much good can come out of it but it can lead to embarrassment and worse.

Slicemeister · 13-03-2014 10:54AM

Happened to me once OP, told a customer if I wasn't married I'd show her the way to Amarillo.
Ended up back at hers that night. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

bucketybuck · 13-03-2014 10:54AM

eviltwin wrote: »

A filter wouldn't go amiss. Its work, not the pub.

It was a night out, it probably was the pub.

Red Pepper · 13-03-2014 10:57AM

sopretty wrote: »

Seriously though, on a professional level, it was inappropriate. She could have construed it as sexual harassment.

You're sopretty.

Ihatecuddles · 13-03-2014 10:58AM

If I was your wife, I'd be a bit annoyed that you said that. What were you hoping to gain? Let the single men tell her she's beautiful.

Foxhound38 · 13-03-2014 10:58AM

Rhotheta wrote: »

I got chatting to a woman who works in my office on a night out. Never spoke to her before, just noticed her gliding around the office. Anyway at one point I told her I thought she was beautiful and if I wasn't married I would attempt to chat her her up. She laughed and we chatted some more before making our way back to our friends. A colleague overheard and thought that comment was innapropriate as I'm a married man.

What is the opinion of after hours on the matter?

You're best leaving that kind of commentary on people's attractiveness out of the workplace, OP. You mightn't mean anything by it but it could land you in a world of hurt if it's ever taken up the wrong way by the recipient, and the whisper mill could get you a workplace reputation you wouldn't want your wife to hear about - even if you didn't do anything.

This specific incident seems harmless enough, but in future I'd keep it professional were I you - it just keeps things simple.

sopretty · 13-03-2014 10:59AM

Red Pepper wrote: »

You're sopretty.

Feck off.

biko · 13-03-2014 11:00AM

"Oh girleen, if I weren't married 30 years I'd chat you up!"

*awkward laughter*

"I need to go back to my friends now.."

anncoates · 13-03-2014 11:00AM

In itself, it's not a bad thing to say but it is a flirtatious comment (despite the old rhetorical device you used) to a colleague and you're leaving yourself at the mercy of the person it's directed at as to whether it gets picked up the wrong way which is why you shouldn't say it.

Ihatecuddles · 13-03-2014 11:00AM

sopretty wrote: »

Feck off.

And modest!! :P

Tiddlypeeps · 13-03-2014 11:01AM

I'd think you were a creep if it were me tbh, it'd be pretty uncomfortable. I wouldn't let on and I'd probably laugh it off as it's not a big deal, but I'd still think you are a creep and avoid you from that point on.

It would be different if you weren't married and were actually trying to pursue a relationship with the woman, it might still be uncomfortable for her if she isn't interested but it's much less creepy than pretty much saying "I'd give you one if I wasn't married".

Your colleague who passed comment on it afterwards tho should mind their own business (unless they are HR).

Red Pepper · 13-03-2014 11:02AM

sopretty wrote: »

Feck off.

Forget you!

sopretty · 13-03-2014 11:03AM

mauzo! wrote: »

And modest!! :P

Deluded might be a more accurate description!

Rhotheta · 13-03-2014 11:06AM

Obliq wrote: »

Not sure why you posted the question if you have already determined that it was completely ok to put a work colleague in the position of (potentially, as we don't know) feeling uncomfortable in your company?

I didn't ask any questions about lecherous gawking.

Obliq · 13-03-2014 11:08AM

Rhotheta wrote: »

I didn't ask any questions about lecherous gawking.

Doh! The question you did ask "Was my comment inappropriate?". From your responses to voices that have said yes, it was, I am asking why you bothered to post the question as it's pretty clear you think it was fine and dandy :rolleyes:

steddyeddy · 13-03-2014 11:12AM

B"llox is it inappropriate to tell someone they're beautiful. It's an aesthetic comment rather than a sexual one Imo.

Czarcasm · 13-03-2014 11:12AM

Rhotheta wrote: »

I got chatting to a woman who works in my office on a night out. Never spoke to her before, just noticed her gliding around the office. Anyway at one point I told her I thought she was beautiful and if I wasn't married I would attempt to chat her her up. She laughed and we chatted some more before making our way back to our friends. A colleague overheard and thought that comment was innapropriate as I'm a married man.

What is the opinion of after hours on the matter?

Yeah, that was so cringe, no wonder she laughed! :pac:

Obliq · 13-03-2014 11:14AM

steddyeddy wrote: »

B"llox is it inappropriate to tell someone they're beautiful. It's an aesthetic comment rather than a sexual one Imo.

If it could put a work colleague in the position of being weirded out in his company, at work, then yes it is.

Rhotheta · 13-03-2014 11:14AM

Obliq wrote: »

Doh! The question you did ask "Was my comment inappropriate?". From your responses to voices that have said yes, it was, I am asking why you bothered to post the question as it's pretty clear you think it was fine and dandy :rolleyes:

To see what after hours think out of curiosity.

Rhotheta · 13-03-2014 11:15AM

Obliq wrote: »

If it could put a work colleague in the position of being weirded out in his company, at work, then yes it is.

A person thinks another person is attractive. So weird.

Obliq · 13-03-2014 11:15AM

Rhotheta wrote: »

To see what after hours think out of curiosity.

Well, I'm sure you'll get plenty of mileage out of it, and a bunch of after dinner conversations.

anncoates · 13-03-2014 11:17AM

steddyeddy wrote: »

B"llox is it inappropriate to tell someone they're beautiful. It's an aesthetic comment rather than a sexual one Imo.

The old rhetorical device of flirtation that's not flirtation is always amusing.

"You're a dirty thing and I'd ride you up your Bournville boulevard if I wasn't married with 2 kids".

Rhotheta · 13-03-2014 11:17AM

Czarcasm wrote: »

Yeah, that was so cringe, no wonder she laughed! :pac:

It's more interesting than discussing the weather and how busy you are at least.

Red Pepper · 13-03-2014 11:17AM

Rhotheta wrote: »

To see what after hours think out of curiosity.

Watch out Rhotheta, you have a post count of 10 which automatically makes you a target of post count snobbery. It's a kind of Boards racism.
I myself think it's a wonderful question.

Was my comment inappropriate?

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