What is the worst thing YOU have done in work?

py2006 · 18-03-2014 1:37pm #1

Is there anything you have done while in work that really, really should have gotten you fired on the spot?

I don't have a guilty conscience or anything

haha as I am always the model professional in the workplace. Actually, I am on here while at work! :-/

Dying to hear some juicy stories...

Banjo String · 18-03-2014 1:40pm

**Paging Dav**

hairyprincess · 18-03-2014 1:40pm

You show me yours and I'll show you mine

Tzardine · 18-03-2014 1:41pm

py2006 wrote: »

Is there anything you have done while in work that really, really should have gotten you fired on the spot?

I don't have a guilty conscience or anything haha as I am always the model professional in the workplace. Actually, I am on here while at work! :-/

Dying to hear some juicy stories...

I once took a penny and never put one back. I think I might have started this whole recession thing lads.

darkpagandeath · 18-03-2014 1:42pm

I did see a workmate fall for opening an attachment that shouts your watching porn full blast over the speakers.

The Backwards Man · 18-03-2014 1:43pm

Set a fridge load of cheese destined for McDonalds in Holland at +19C instead of -19C and blamed it on the driver. (By rights, he should have checked it) By all accounts there was a sea of cheesy sludge all along the A66 in England.

That's not the worse thing I've ever done, but the worst I'm admitting to here at lunchtime on a sober Tuesday.

on the river · 18-03-2014 1:46pm

had some 'time to myself' and got caught. very embarrasing.

Banjo String · 18-03-2014 1:46pm

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Set a fridge load of cheese destined for McDonalds in Holland at +19C instead of -19C and blamed it on the driver. (By rights, he should have checked it) By all accounts there was a sea of cheesy sludge all along the A66 in England.

That's not the worse thing I've ever done, but the worst I'm admitting to here at lunchtime on a sober Tuesday.

Pity it was McDonald's. If it had of been nacho cheese, it would have been nacho problem.

/runs.

snubbleste · 18-03-2014 1:47pm

work.

AndonHandon · 18-03-2014 1:50pm

Wanked.

Sarky · 18-03-2014 1:53pm

I used to do night security in a factory which was falling apart, full of workers and management who hated security, and which paid really badly. I had access to the canteen store room. Crappy as it was, I never wanted for Special K, sugar or mustard while I worked there.

syklops · 18-03-2014 1:54pm

Cue three pages of "One of the guys in work was telling me..."

Tzardine · 18-03-2014 1:54pm

Sarky wrote: »

I used to do night security in a factory which was falling apart, full of workers and management who hated security, and which paid really badly. I had access to the canteen store room. Crappy as it was, I never wanted for Special K, sugar or mustard while I worked there.

As a night security officer was it not your job to protect the Special K, sugar and mustard ?

Deise Vu · 18-03-2014 1:55pm

I didn't spot a pricing error made by a junior colleague for about 18 months by which time the customer owed us an additional €120K over what had been billed. I'll never forget the day I spotted it, I now know where the phrase 'my heart ran cold' comes from. It was a lot of money to my employers (though obviously not crucial!). We eventually got €90K out of the bollix of a customer who were merrilly paying us a rate they knew was wrong. I was dead man walking from that day until I left with my tail between my legs.

The Backwards Man · 18-03-2014 1:57pm

Sarky wrote: »

I used to do night security in a factory which was falling apart, full of workers and management who hated security, and which paid really badly. I had access to the canteen store room. Crappy as it was, I never wanted for Special K, sugar or mustard while I worked there.

Did you know that you could have put Special K in your tea as a sugar substitute because there's that much sugar in it? And you would have been a 1/3 less guilty of stealing in the process?
:pac:

littlelulu · 18-03-2014 1:58pm

Accidentally put an envelope into the external box (for the post office) instead of the internal box to the external buildings.

The envelope contained receipts..... LOTS of receipts and invoices that we had to submit to the finance department for bills to be paid and for our department to be reimbursed.

That envelope is probably still on its way around Ireland looking for the recipient

I never admitted to it and assured them I had put it into the right box.

Muise... · 18-03-2014 2:00pm

Leave to study for a Masters degree just before the recession.

rockbeast · 18-03-2014 2:01pm

She was called "Big Jen" and to this day I get abuse for it...

Shame on Rockbeast

Northern Monkey · 18-03-2014 2:05pm

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Set a fridge load of cheese destined for McDonalds in Holland at +19C instead of -19C and blamed it on the driver. (By rights, he should have checked it) By all accounts there was a sea of cheesy sludge all along the A66 in England.

That's not the worse thing I've ever done, but the worst I'm admitting to here at lunchtime on a sober Tuesday.

I know someone who did that with a container load of frozen chickens!

Ruu · 18-03-2014 2:07pm

on the river wrote: »

had some 'time to myself' and got caught. very embarrasing.

Go on... *heavy breathing* :P

rockbeast · 18-03-2014 2:09pm

on the river wrote: »

had some 'time to myself' and got caught. very embarrasing.

Is that you "Sticky"?

razorblunt · 18-03-2014 2:11pm

Louise Kennedy glass vase, £800 (2000) price tag, top shelf 15 feet up, gravity.

None of the glass spilled out of the box, put back up, pushed to the back and never spoken about again.
For a first job that's not bad!

AndonHandon · 18-03-2014 2:14pm

Wanked.

rockbeast · 18-03-2014 2:14pm

razorblunt wrote: »

Louise Kennedy glass vase, £800 (2000) price tag, top shelf 15 feet up, gravity.

None of the glass spilled out of the box, put back up, pushed to the back and never spoken about again.
For a first job that's not bad!

Razor Sharp there, so you were!:cool:

wazky · 18-03-2014 2:15pm

Swapped the tyres off the company van with my own.

razorblunt · 18-03-2014 2:17pm

rockbeast wrote: »

Razor Sharp there, so you were!:cool:

That was the blunt era!

on the river · 18-03-2014 2:20pm

Ruubot2 wrote: »

Go on... *heavy breathing* :P

where do i start (sigh)

after the deed was done the boss told me never ever do that during office hours.

she said i was free to do anything during overtime because she woundnt be their .

i know the boss (a women) has been too kind after that and always gives me overtime. :cool:

rockbeast · 18-03-2014 2:21pm

on the river wrote: »

where do i start (sigh)

after the deed was done the boss told me never ever do that during office hours.

she said i was free to do anything during overtime because he woundnt be their .

i know the boss (a women) has been too kind after that and always gives me overtime. :cool:

Supervised by her? :eek:

Tar.Aldarion · 18-03-2014 2:28pm

left the tap running on the floor in a nightclub I worked at, upstairs, for hours.

Hmm I think that cost in the 10's of thousands of damage. :-o

rockbeast · 18-03-2014 2:30pm

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

left the tap running on the floor in a nightclub I worked at, upstairs, for hours.

Hmm I think that cost in the 10's of thousands of damage. :-o

The Ocean Bar?

I heard they closed down recently:pac:

Sir Chops · 18-03-2014 2:32pm

py2006 wrote: »

Is there anything you have done while in work that really, really should have gotten you fired on the spot?

I don't have a guilty conscience or anything haha as I am always the model professional in the workplace. Actually, I am on here while at work! :-/

Dying to hear some juicy stories...

Found a lass's hair bobbin on her desk. Put it around my balls and lower shaft and had a fap in the jax. Handed it back to her. She put it on her hair. Thought it might have some affect on her but no she stuck with her bf.

Tzardine · 18-03-2014 2:36pm

Sir Chops wrote: »

Found a lass's hair bobbin on her desk. Put it around my balls and lower shaft and had a fap in the jax. Handed it back to her. She put it on her hair. Thought it might have some affect on her but no she stuck with her bf.

Im sure it would if she found out where it was lol.

The Backwards Man · 18-03-2014 2:41pm

Sir Chops wrote: »

Found a lass's hair bobbin on her desk. Put it around my balls and lower shaft and had a fap in the jax. Handed it back to her. She put it on her hair. Thought it might have some affect on her but no she stuck with her bf.

Jesus man, I think you need to refine that story a bit. A lot, in fact.

wanderer 22 · 18-03-2014 2:48pm

Forgot to attach a cover sheet to my TPS report.

Tzardine · 18-03-2014 2:51pm

colm18 wrote: »

Forgot to attach a cover sheet to my TPS report.

Terry Tate is coming for you !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbSpAsJSZPc

GreeBo · 18-03-2014 2:53pm

colm18 wrote: »

Forgot to attach a cover sheet to my TPS report.

Did you not get the memo? Did you not understand the instructions?

jester77 · 18-03-2014 2:56pm

darkpagandeath wrote: »

I did see a workmate fall for opening an attachment that shouts your watching porn full blast over the speakers.

That happened me in the office, "Hey everybody, I'm watching porno over here"

Did we work together

I was meant to be going into work on a Monday morning, but ended up falling out of a pub in the south of France after all night lock in around that time. I phoned the secretary and left a message that I would not be in as I had missed a flight. Was talking to her a few days later and apologised for leaving what was probably an incomprehensible message. She looked at me confused and said "What are you on about, you were talking to me!"

Muise... · 18-03-2014 2:59pm

jester77 wrote: »

That happened me in the office, "Hey everybody, I'm watching porno over here"

Did we work together

I remember that from an internet cafe in 1999. It's still funny!

Cantona's Collars · 18-03-2014 3:03pm

Threatened to throw a junior manager down the stairs,went to work the next day expecting to be sacked only to find out unbeknown to me that several of my co-workers had filed official complaints against him earlier & he was being moved on.

bbam · 18-03-2014 3:06pm

Once made a mistake that scrapped ~$100,000 of material.
Was fairly tight with my manager and we smoothe it over. Got a pay rise that year too.

Had one real wise guy contractor in work. We set his explorer homepage to one of those porn links that bombs you with 100's of porn pop ups and then put explorer into his startup folder.
Every time he started his PC it would just bomb him with porn at work and he haddent a clue what was going on. Had to ring it department to get it sorted and he got a fair grilling from his manager about the whole thing.

fathead82 · 18-03-2014 3:10pm

I was preparing meat for pies in a factory I used to work in,shoving it off the table,down a chute into a bin.after around 10 mins I copped that I forgot to put the bin under the chute. There was a huge pile of meat on the floor. I got a shovel & put it into the bin & sent it out to the mixing tanks.Never told anyone.
Dont ever eat steak & kidney pies.

cletus van damme · 18-03-2014 3:13pm

when i was 19 /20 I was seeing a girl and we both lived at home.
So for action i used to drive us to the office at night and shag her in a meeting room.
my mate caught me once but he was in the office up to no good too so we just laughed about it and said nothing to anybody else.

got pissed and drugged up a few times on a friday afternoon in the job.

1huge1 · 18-03-2014 3:37pm

colm18 wrote: »

Forgot to attach a cover sheet to my TPS report.

I hope everyone got this :-)

18-03-2014 3:55pm

Threatened to throw kids of a balcony.

wazky · 18-03-2014 3:56pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Threatened to throw kids of a balcony.

Boring working in a creche is it?

urabell · 18-03-2014 4:13pm

Last day working in a pub for an owner who was a complete tosser, went into his office with a stanley blade and a backpack I'd left in the garden for a week filled with meat. Opened up a slit in the back of his couch and filled it with the meat.

Pumpkinseeds · 18-03-2014 4:24pm

Sir Chops wrote: »

Found a lass's hair bobbin on her desk. Put it around my balls and lower shaft and had a fap in the jax. Handed it back to her. She put it on her hair. Thought it might have some affect on her but no she stuck with her bf.

I was going to say 'what kind of sane person even thinks of doing that', then I thought no, you're not sane, you need therapy Sir chops:D

Thargor · 18-03-2014 4:54pm

Ive made it seem like certain jobs take a lot longer than they actually do to the point where I only do about 3 hours of work in a day and spend the rest on Boards and Reddit, slowly going mad though, need to start looking for another job.

BNMC · 18-03-2014 7:45pm

Used to work in a hotel as a barman. It was the morning after a wedding and there was 3 of us cleaning up after the usual mayhem the day before. There was me, another fella who was Polish, a really sound guy, and then a contrary old prick who nobody liked. You'd often find money strewn around the ballroom floor after a wedding, usually coins but a lot of notes too. Anyway, this particular morning the Polish guy and I spotted the miserable old prick opening a card he had found, he took out the money laid it on the floor underneath the long curtains and dumped the card in his black rubbish bag. I think he was hiding it and would come back for it if it wasn't claimed by the wedding party.

He didn't notice that we had seen what he was up top so me and the Polish guy placed a hoover (with the brushy bit taken off) right beside the 2 big shiny green €100 notes and waited for this guy to come in and turn it on thus sucking up the monies.

He duly did but didn't notice.

Guess what the last job of the day was?

€100 each. It was obvious he knew it was us that was behind the missing money as he was more of a prick to us than usual for a while after that.

It was bad to take money that wasn't ours. Still feel guilty to this day.

porsche959 · 18-03-2014 7:48pm

GreeBo wrote: »

Did you not get the memo? Did you not understand the instructions?

I'm going to ask you to, ah, go ahead and come in to work over the weekend.

Semele · 18-03-2014 8:18pm

When I was a psychiatric nursing assistant on a secure forensic ward I once let a very psychotic female patient from another ward in, thinking she was a social worker:(. Realised almost immediately but there was already chaos, 15 equally psychotic men making the most of the break in routine, alarms going off, and the emergency restraint team having to burst in a painfully long 5 minutes later and bodily remove her.

I'd only been in the job 2 weeks and it had to be the day when all the big nob doctors were there for the weekly ward meeting. I have never felt so small or so stupid in my life as they all glared at me with a mixture of pity and disgust. I fully understand the blood-running-cold cliche now!

What is the worst thing YOU have done in work?

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