Best nickname youve heard?

TheOtherBloke · 17-12-2014 12:52PM #1

Just for abit of a laugh.. what is the best nickname youve heard? I saw this on another thread and I found it amusing.. 'There was this old man who lived near me when I was younger , six of his nine grandsons were called William , he was known as the man with six willys.' Theres a man who's called Jonny Big pants around here simply because he wears very baggy trousers... whats the best or most relevant nickname you know? And why?

Hoop66 · 17-12-2014 01:01PM

Rugby league player from a few years ago - Martin Ofiah. known as "Chariots".

alchemist33 · 17-12-2014 01:03PM

The footballer "One Size" Fitz Hall

Lovely Bloke · 17-12-2014 01:08PM

Mate of mine was called chickenwings.

He performed oral sex on a female who was menstruating, and afterwards looked like he'd been consuming BBQ Wings.

Frogeye · 17-12-2014 01:09PM

I knew guy called "Thrush" ...because he was an irritating C**t.

BlimpyBoy · 17-12-2014 01:12PM

2Pants

Apparently, he wore two pairs of pants to work one day when it was snowing.

TheOtherBloke · 17-12-2014 01:15PM

Baldy Conscience wrote: »

Mate of mine was called chickenwings.

He performed oral sex on a female who was menstruating, and afterwards looked like he'd been consuming BBQ Wings.

This will haunt me for a bit

Birneybau · 17-12-2014 01:15PM

Mr. Can't Use Search Function.

Locomotion · 17-12-2014 01:16PM

There's a UFC fighter called Andre "Touchy" Fili

wilhelm roentgen · 17-12-2014 01:16PM

Has to be a work mate of mine from years ago whose name was Billy Chestnut, his nickname was William the Conqueror

KeithM89 · 17-12-2014 01:17PM

Guy in school we used to call Oliver after both his parents died.

brummytom · 17-12-2014 01:20PM

Friend of my dad's when he was younger was a short bloke who drove an Austin Metro. His nickname was metronome.

wilhelm roentgen · 17-12-2014 01:21PM

I knew a guy who worked for local panel beaters here in Cork, his workmates used to call him call him ‘Soup’.
‘Why Soup?’ I asked
‘Cos he’s a thick Country Vegetable’ came the reply.

Jon_459 · 17-12-2014 01:21PM

Electrician I know is called the "prince of darkness"

cletus van damme · 17-12-2014 01:22PM

Baldy Conscience wrote: »

Mate of mine was called chickenwings.

He performed oral sex on a female who was menstruating, and afterwards looked like he'd been consuming BBQ Wings.

did he not clean himself after ?

Kim Kardashi Un · 17-12-2014 01:25PM

Billy the boll*x

Black joe (who's black and not to be confused with the other joe)

Lovely Bloke · 17-12-2014 01:29PM

cletus van damme wrote: »

did he not clean himself after ?

yeah he did, but it was dark and it was still in and around his fingernails by the time we saw him again later the next day for pints.

He went straight to her hotel room, did the dirty, went to the bathroom to scrub up then went to bed, got up the next morning and hightailed it out of there to meet us again for pints. He obviously didn't properly clean his hands.

It was a stag thing in Newcastle.

As soon as the slagging started he headed back to his own hotel room to have a proper shower and that, heh later on that evening we all had dinner together. It's probably obvious what half the table ordered.

sh1tstirrer · 17-12-2014 01:34PM

My first day working on a building site and the foreman kept calling a worker donkey so I asked him why does he call you donkey he replied he aw he aw he always calls me that.

Mesrine65 · 17-12-2014 01:40PM

Knew a Jamaican guy in London called Toots, I thought he was a fan of Toots & the Maytals.

Not so...he could fart a cacophony of sound at will.

Corvo · 17-12-2014 01:48PM

"Backada"

This fella's used drive a bus to matches/school runs etc. and would always shout "sit down on the backada bus"

Hence it stuck to him.

Mickeroo · 17-12-2014 01:49PM

Tony Teabag. Sounds bad but it was actually only because he drove a van similar in colour to a box of Lyons.

Summer wind · 17-12-2014 08:00PM

There's a man living a couple of miles away from me. He's going out with a woman and she's about 60 and about 20 stone. She's known locally as "the model".

aidanathome · 17-12-2014 08:04PM

Played football with a guy called 'Eggs'. First name was Benedict...

humberklog · 17-12-2014 08:11PM

Landmine.

He was an unfortunate irish chap I met on the building sites in England. He didn't keep himself very together, ripped suit jacket and trousers (yes, a suit!) scruffy as and he shouted in an incomprehensible accent. He walked with a limp and his hard hat never fitted right.

Jawgap · 17-12-2014 08:13PM

Surprised no one has mentioned BIFFO!!!

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 17-12-2014 08:15PM

Fella who cut off one finger in a workplace accident, and only had four. His nickname was kitkat.

john the one · 17-12-2014 08:18PM

A pals name was meatball. cos he had ginger hair

smurgen · 17-12-2014 08:19PM

Cheque book Willy . Fella will my dad used used to know.he used write cheques for for the smallest of things like a pint of milk. Fella in our class with one testicle , we called him bolloclopse!

Jawgap · 17-12-2014 08:22PM

Grew up with a bunch of lads called Beatty - everyone was nicknamed 'Chester'

.......another girl called Aoife, with buck-teeth was called Teethfa.....

GG21057 · 17-12-2014 08:24PM

Mean fella was nicknamed 'crime'. Crime doesn't pay...

longshanks · 17-12-2014 08:26PM

Wasn't there a Cork footballer named Conor Kearney who was nicknamed Chilli?
Chilli Con Kearney.

shaneon77 · 17-12-2014 08:27PM

I worked with a pastry chef who was gay and from the Philippines, Much to his dislike I named him Feelapenis.

Brendan Flowers · 17-12-2014 08:33PM

The footballer Kiki Musampa is nicknamed "Chris Musampa"

cjpm · 17-12-2014 08:35PM

Fella from Glengarriff got 55 points in his Leaving Cert. Known locally as Britvic

joe stodge · 17-12-2014 08:43PM

Jon_459 wrote: »

Electrician I know is called the "prince of darkness"

I used to work with one very close to retirement known as "Jurassic sparks".

Menas · 17-12-2014 08:46PM

Buddy of ours is an accountant to some dodgy types.
We call him Dirty Books.

joe stodge · 17-12-2014 08:46PM

Lad with a stutter used to go out with a girl with a huge under bite when I was a teen, they we're known as "chindler's lisp".

corner of hells · 17-12-2014 08:52PM

joe stodge wrote: »

I used to work with one very close to retirement known as "Jurassic sparks".

Im an electrician and we had a pair of identical twin apprentices nicknamed "phase and neutral" , a few years later their younger brother became an apprentice and gained the nickname "earth".

My favourite nickname was for another electrician , forever known as "flashbang".

joe stodge · 17-12-2014 08:59PM

corner of hells wrote: »

Im an electrician and we had a pair of identical twin apprentices nicknamed "phase and neutral" , a few years later their younger brother became an apprentice and gained the nickname "earth".

My favourite nickname was for another electrician , forever known as "flashbang".

There was another lad called the "conduit king" because he was ****e are any type of conduit, he came to work one monday complaining of this girl he'd gotten off with over the weekend.
He said "no matter what i done she just lay there silent, it was like riding a bag if potatoes. She was ****". To which one of the lads said "maybe you were ****e", he was then known as the "mattress king".

dubscottie · 17-12-2014 09:08PM

Lad at local council in Scotland was called Davie Dig Deep as he was well known for sticking the back bucket of his JCB through cables/pipes etc.

Lad in the local called Dulux as he only seems to have one coat.

Collapsible Brian.. But wont go into how he got that one..

myshirt · 17-12-2014 09:17PM

13 year old chap who had a bad day at school.

Thereafter known as 'Curryshorts Kelly'.

BattleCorp · 18-12-2014 12:53PM

A guy I know got lucky one time with the local copper's daughter.

She gave him a handjob but he came very very very quickly. She told a few friends who told a few friends who told a few friends and eventually we found out.

He became known as Jimmy Two Stroke from then on.

Another guy is called Brillo,

shifts all sorts of dirt.

Rob Thomas · 18-12-2014 12:58PM

Rugby player John Eales was nicknamed "Nobody".

Because Nobody's Perfect.

Plenty of big landowners in west of ireland nicknamed Yorkie.

Big, thick and rich.

Salvation Tambourine · 18-12-2014 12:58PM

Baldy Conscience wrote: »

Mate of mine was called chickenwings.

He performed oral sex on a female who was menstruating, and afterwards looked like he'd been consuming BBQ Wings.

Have one similiar, same story but he was called "The Count", as in Count Dracula.

mark_jmc · 18-12-2014 01:08PM

guy in work is called ankles,

he is usually so far up the bosses hole you can only see his ankles

recylingbin · 18-12-2014 01:09PM

Lad I know with a peg leg, buck teeth, bad acne, one testicle and bad facial birthmark is nicknamed Jack.
Cos his name is John.

fleet_admiral · 18-12-2014 01:12PM

I have heard loads over the years from working in pubs, Square brains being a great one for a fella who couldn't pick his nose when it came to winning on the horses

gerrybbadd · 18-12-2014 01:19PM

Mate of mine was christened Wrong Mouth, because he used to make some ridiculously incorrect statements.

Another fella I know was called Ten to 2, because of his deformed feet, that looked like they were pointed to that time of the clock.