do parents seriously do this

hagoonabear · 28-01-2015 11:43PM #1

Hi, I remember being friends with this guy before so she showed me this notebook his mother and father kept detailing everything they ever bought for hisr from birth until then, he had a part time job but he would have to pay money every week for the expenses of his childhood and growing up etc... is this normal to some people or wtf?

maggiepip · 28-01-2015 11:49PM

Im not a parent but I don't need to be to know that is seriously messed up.

Ken. · 28-01-2015 11:51PM

Is his mother Mrs Skinner from the Simpsons?.

ComfortKid · 28-01-2015 11:52PM

Imagine that! I'd be moving out anyway.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 28-01-2015 11:53PM

Not a parent, but I always thought those things were done out of love?

From a purely cold and legal point of view, he could refuse to pay anything back as he never entered into any agreement with them.

maggiepip · 28-01-2015 11:57PM

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Not a parent, but I always thought those things were done out of love?

From a purely cold and legal point of view, he could refuse to pay anything back as he never entered into any agreement with them.

Nothing loving about totting up childhood debts - I mean seriously!

MouseTail · 28-01-2015 11:58PM

No, its not normal.

2xj3hplqgsbkym · 29-01-2015 12:02AM

hagoonabear wrote: »

Hi, I remember being friends with this guy before so she showed me this notebook his mother and father kept detailing everything they ever bought for hisr from birth until then, he had a part time job but he would have to pay money every week for the expenses of his childhood and growing up etc... is this normal to some people or wtf?

Yes this is perfectly normal, I have been paying my parents back for 14 years now, only 26 more years to go as I ate a lot, however they are very generous because they do not charge me interest.
I plan on being equally generous to my own children by not charging them baby sitter fees (only if babysitter is for a social occasion of our choosing of course)!!

newbie2 · 29-01-2015 12:03AM

mmmm,

yeah right.

OP cant decide of friend was male of female. I call BS. move on

Triangla · 29-01-2015 12:05AM

I knew one girl in secondary school whose parents did this.

Never heard any other instances. Her folks were mean and scanty. Not short of money bit hated spending anything.

hagoonabear · 29-01-2015 12:05AM

sorry typing off my phone, hate these touch screens but honest to god it was no joke, his mother even showed me it proudly as the other son who lived in USA sent home monthly cheques. they were farming people all about the land and money if that makes any sense

The Humble Sausage · 29-01-2015 12:11AM

nothing short of abnormal! being sensible with money and understanding the value of everything is a good trait to impart upon a child, but this doesn't teach anything except the price of everything, or put another way, how to be a scab. Also, everyone i know who's a scab is almost always the son/daughter of a scab.

Moonbeam · 29-01-2015 09:39AM

It is not the 1st time that I have heard of it but I think it is cold and heartless and far from normal.
To an extend I can understand keeping a tally to see how exactly how much it costs to raise a child,but expecting him to pay for it is awful.

Neyite · 29-01-2015 10:23AM

hagoonabear wrote: »

sorry typing off my phone, hate these touch screens but honest to god it was no joke, his mother even showed me it proudly as the other son who lived in USA sent home monthly cheques. they were farming people all about the land and money if that makes any sense

And the fcuked-up thinking follows through to the next generation...:rolleyes:

I think its disgusting, and tbh, when the time comes they'll likely be shunted into a badly run nursing home, ignored and die alone while the sons divide up the land between them because the only thing that they've taught their kids is that money means more than love. As the old saying goes 'there's no pockets in a shroud'

I have absolutely no idea what we have spent on our child. But I do know that the happiness he has brought into our lives when he joined our family cant be quantified in monetary terms.

iguana · 29-01-2015 10:35AM

A parent has a legal obligation to provide for their child. It's why non-custodial parents can be court ordered to pay maintainence if they don't come to an agreement themselves with the custodial parent. The parents are taking the piss.

MistyCheese · 29-01-2015 12:03PM

This is wrong. Even if for only the following reason; the child doesn't decide what toy their parent buys. So you're asking for repayment of purchases that were not authorised.

Theorically this person should be able to go through the book and declare "I never really played with that toy, I'd have been okay without it so I'm not paying you back for that."

eviltwin · 29-01-2015 12:19PM

Seriously that is fcuked up. I'd never dream of doing that. Where is the love? It makes it sound like parenting is a job.

oisinog · 29-01-2015 12:23PM

WTF

maggiepip · 29-01-2015 01:12PM

Its a choice to have children, neither a right nor compulsory and if you choose to have children you pay for their upbringing. Children dont ask to be born never mind being faced with a financial debt for their childhood.

skallywag · 29-01-2015 01:39PM

I see nothing wrong with keeping a record of all associated costs, but asking / expecting the child to pay it back in any way is complete lunacy!

pwurple · 29-01-2015 02:05PM

We kinda have this record... as in, we track our bank and credit card records and divide the items into categories of expenditure. Me, husband, transport, children's stuff etc. We keep the records so we have an idea of where our money is going, and so we can budget for things like holidays or a car.

Don't think I'd ever ask them to pay it back, unless we wanted to teach some sort of financial lesson to a child who was going way off the rails once they had an income.

I would ask them to contribute to household once earning, and stick it in an account until they had a bit of sense. If there was a barney about contribution, I could see myself pulling out the records and saying "what about this lot". Slightly evil!

Big Bag of Chips · 29-01-2015 02:12PM

Never heard of that! Never even considered it.... But now that I have heard of it, I'm off to buy a notebook!!

Seriously?? Does he still live at home? Does he pay household expenses as well as his "debt"? The brother in America sends cheques home??

What would happen if they refused to pay?!

jungleman · 29-01-2015 02:57PM

Maybe if the parents kept a little budget aside for condoms they wouldn't be so out of pocket. They sound wretched.

Nesta99 · 29-01-2015 04:11PM

Hmmm with little info on things like motive - whether they were trying to make the kids see the level of responsibility of having family, value to money, contributing to the household when employed even part time, maybe their folks did it to them and it was seen as their norm and so on but it is a hell of a way to make the children feel like a total burden. They may have meant well but made a balls of it.

For curiosity myself and my sister guestimated how much we cost our folks with just education and general costs like travel to Uni, accomodation, not throwing in christmas presents to nappies and it was very a sobering amount of cash. Could buy a new house with it and not post boom slump house prices...best motivation ever for contraception use!

Merkin · 30-01-2015 11:28PM

No and both parents sound they like they have quite serious psychiatric problems

foxy farmer · 30-01-2015 11:53PM

Miserated oul' hoors. They'll leave it all after them in the end.
Fine decent thing to not bother spending money on kids in first place but this is just another insight into some peoples obsession with money.

DoYouEvenLift · 30-01-2015 11:59PM

These people choose to bring a new life into the world and then go onto charge their child, who had no choice in being born, for the cost of raising them...interesting logic.

Mr. J · 31-01-2015 12:29AM

These folk are just mad in the head. Simple as that! Mad in the head.

I imagine these people are in the 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
% of people to have ever acted in this bizarre fashion.

I certainly can't imagine any of the other millions of species both living and extinct acting this weird manner. Definitely mad in the head.

Ken. · 31-01-2015 12:35AM

I'm just wondering, do you tack on the cost of the pre natal care or do you swallow that cost?.

Asarlai · 31-01-2015 12:50AM

ken wrote: »

I'm just wondering, do you tack on the cost of the pre natal care or do you swallow that cost?.

And, did they put any money in as a benefit based on all pleasure they had riding each other like rabbits before the babies came along?

Did they put any money in as a benefit for all the enjoyment the sons gave them through the years?

Ken. · 31-01-2015 01:02AM

Anyone can write anything in a notebook. I'd be demanding receipts for everything.

iguana · 31-01-2015 09:26AM

I was thinking about this last night and in fact most parents strive to do the opposite and set up savings accounts for their kids that they put money when they can afford it. I'll admit that if they day comes that he is a working adult living at home I will expect him to pay me something to cover his costs.

crazygeryy · 31-01-2015 09:32AM

The only good reason to do this is too make the grown up kids/adults realise what their parents did for them growing up. I know i didn't realise and being a parent Now i know i took them for granted.
It's staggering the amount of stuff children get these days sometimes even when it nearly can't be afforded.
But asking for pay back is a bit to much.

Big Bag of Chips · 31-01-2015 09:36AM

I think most parents would see that as reasonable iguana. But the brother in America sending home cheques to pay them off??

Just out of interest, what's the total amount they "owe"? Are they expected to pay the full amount over a certain amount of years? Will the day come where they don't owe anymore? Or do they spend the rest of their lives paying installments to their parents?

Are Christmas presents included? Do they bill guests who come to visit for the price of a teabag and a sandwich?!

What miserable people.

sh1tstirrer · 31-01-2015 09:45AM

hagoonabear wrote: »

Hi, I remember being friends with this guy before so she showed me this notebook his mother and father kept detailing everything they ever bought for hisr from birth until then, he had a part time job but he would have to pay money every week for the expenses of his childhood and growing up etc... is this normal to some people or wtf?

Why didn't he/she burn the note book if they had it in their possession :rolleyes:
Your story is badly thought out and badly written so I call baloney on this one

Ging Ging · 31-01-2015 09:49AM

hagoonabear wrote:

they were farming people all about the land and money if that makes any sense

No not really.

iguana · 31-01-2015 11:10AM

To be completely honest whenever I buy something for my son I get every bit as much, if not more, joy and excitement from them than he does. I love buying him lovely new clothes and seeing how damn adorable he looks in them or buying wool to make him nice things. I love buying his favourite foods and seeing him so happy eating them. I especially love buying him toys and books and seeing how happy he is to play with them/enjoy storytime with me. I love taking him to playcentres as seeing him have a great time is worth so much more than the entry fee. This morning I booked us a holiday in a holiday camp and I'm bursting with excitement at the thought of how much fun he'll have. Every last cent I spend on him is as much for me as for him because I love him and love taking care of him and making him happy.

Now I know all of that's easy at age 2 and that the day will come when he'll want some ridiculously priced item of fashionable clothes that I find bafflingly ugly and won't be happy to pay for. Or he'll want whatever the new technology is and we'll have battles about whether or not I'll buy it for him. Or I'll give him pocket money and he'll spend it on something infuriatingly stupid. So I won't always be so happy to spend money on him as I am now but even then it's still either my responsibility or my choice. And unless we have pre-agreed a system like 'you save half and I'll match the rest' for particular items, he won't owe me a thing.

galah · 01-02-2015 06:36PM

Haha, for the craic i note down the worst expenses our children cause us, but purely for our own entertainment (and potential blackmail when they are older, along with the poo-face pictures and other incriminating bits they provide us with)

but i'm mean like that :P

So far we have the 700 quid in vets fees as no. 1 pulled the poor cat's tail and dislocated it, another 100 quid for a new satellite system as same child threw the remote in the bin on bin day, another 30 quid to replace another remote (same act, different child, will we ever learn?), the rest i'd have to look up :P

But keeping track in earnest and making the kids pay it back? That's just horrible, why bother having kids in the first place

never forget, they will choose your old folks home...

Eeden · 02-02-2015 08:36PM

Asarlai wrote: »

And, did they put any money in as a benefit based on all pleasure they had riding each other like rabbits before the babies came along?

Did they put any money in as a benefit for all the enjoyment the sons gave them through the years?

These folks sound so miserable, I'd bet that they didn't enjoy the ride at all!

And they probably didn't take much pleasure from having children, either, if the till sounds were going off in their heads the whole time!

Orion · 03-02-2015 05:12PM

Rather than money I'll get my payback on my kids with lots of embarrassing childhood photos on display at their 21st. Much more satisfaction

we'llallhavetea · 04-02-2015 11:41PM

haha, thats psychotic!

hollster2 · 06-02-2015 02:05PM

What vile people wtf did they have kids for then!

do parents seriously do this

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