Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

I'm on the choo choo and need my sanity back

  • 14-05-2015 12:16PM
    #1
    FluffyAngel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 518 ✭✭✭


    So for my sins I'm on the train to the big city that contains one third of the country's population..

    So say it's boring is an understatement
    Mr sour ( ticket inspector) has come and gone
    Not even a blast of hello or thanks uttered from his lips

    Tourists are filling the seats full from the cultural icon of Killarney

    The woman in the seat across from me in the twinset and permed bonnet has finished her sandwiches and now has her mouth open for examination in the hope that a dentist passes by as she sleeps .

    Mr two seats is bursting out of the aisle in the hope that his plan to trip up a woman to fall in his lap works

    "Jill" in the seat behind me is smoking hot in a middle age hippy kinda way , but she is annoying me with her ringtone of "love is a burning desire

    So AH I need your help in all its sweet ways
    How can I make this journey shorter ? And keep me from going insane
    What should I do in my short time in the big smoke
    Will the 9pm train home be the same ?
    Save me ..


Comments

  • #2
    Birneybau
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,398 ✭✭✭✭Birneybau


    Couldn't care less.


  • #3
    Sleepy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,488 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    Eh, read a book.


  • #4
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Go for a big shíte but don't lock the door......that'll be enough excitement for one day!


  • #5
    walkingshadow
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 369 ✭✭walkingshadow


    OP, just get naked. Excitement will ensue.


  • #6
    BMJD
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,694 ✭✭✭BMJD


    Ask the flight attendant for a pillow, get some sleep and don't be annoying us. Our watch the in-flight movie or something.


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    Valetta
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,611 ✭✭✭Valetta


    FluffyAngel wrote: »
    So AH I need your help in all its sweet ways
    How can I make this journey shorter ? ..

    If you wanted the journey to be shorter, you shouldn't have started from Killarney.


  • #8
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    Sounds like a Billy Joel song


  • #9
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,883 ✭✭✭Feisar


    So you've no laptop, book or kindle?

    Take a stroll around the train and pick up a discarded paper?

    Browse on your smartphone?

    First they came for the socialists...



  • #10
    SomeFool
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,452 ✭✭✭SomeFool


    Im on he same train, the fella across:from me is eating away at a packet of ham :)


  • #11
    thecamcam
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44 ✭thecamcam


    strip naked and stand in the auto jacks unlocked , as someone opens the door to reveal you like the statue of david , you can shake your bits at them and then lock it , extreme theater styleee


  • Advertisement
  • #12
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    I have this irrational thing about being on a train when the sun is shining on a weekday, it's like being in the pub when you should be at work, only more depressing.


  • #13
    spud82
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 654 ✭✭✭spud82


    Ask the person beside you to play strip poker, play hide and go seek? Start busking, run up and down the train and many times you can run up and down the train before getting in trouble. Sit on the catering trolley and ask to be pushed around


  • #14
    looksee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,483 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    Some Fool meet Fluffy Angel, now have a nice chat, or whatever.


  • #15
    dee_mc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,199 ✭✭✭dee_mc


    You have the entire internet available to you, you can buy or rob a paper, have a sleep, or (god forbid) talk to someone - I had a fascinating discussion about bunions, marriage equality and the price of communion dresses with an oul dear during my last train journey to Dublin, all the while getting kicked in the shins by a sleeping homeless man in the seat opposite - can't imagine how you could be bored ;)


  • #16
    Jimminy Mc Fukhead
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 305 ✭✭Jimminy Mc Fukhead


    BMJD wrote: »
    Ask the flight attendant for a pillow,

    How about putting a knife to the "flight attendant's" throat.
    Demand that the "pilot" (bear in mind that we're on a train) change course and increase altitude dramatically. Deal with any objections firmly and violently. Look for 5 million us dollars and for the plane to land in columbia.


  • #17
    vicwatson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,404 ✭✭✭✭vicwatson


    Pull the emergency cord and feel the ire of fellow passengers !!


  • #18
    WoollyRedHat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    Start running up and down down the train screaming that you saw a little gremlin on the outside of the train, and he's going to kill us all.

    Chaos darling.


  • #19
    eviltimeban
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,129 ✭✭✭eviltimeban


    FluffyAngel wrote: »
    "Jill" in the seat behind me is smoking hot in a middle age hippy kinda way

    Pics please.


  • #20
    vicwatson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,404 ✭✭✭✭vicwatson


    SomeFool wrote: »
    Im on he same train, the fella across:from me is eating away at a packet of ham :)

    A whole packet, without the sangwich? hungry bastard


  • #21
    nelly17
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,210 ✭✭✭nelly17


    The letter on the sick bag the other day was WAY more entertaining


  • Advertisement
  • #22
    FluffyAngel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 518 ✭✭✭FluffyAngel


    BMJD wrote: »
    Ask the flight attendant for a pillow, get some sleep and don't be annoying us. Our watch the in-flight movie or something.

    I decided to watch a movie on the smart phone , of course it had to be unbreakable , the movie that is about a train crash .. My anxiety was shooting up , but thankful I was saved by the crap signal ..


  • #23
    FluffyAngel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 518 ✭✭✭FluffyAngel


    WoollyRedHat wrote: »
    Start running up and down down the train screaming that you saw a little gremlin on the outside of the train, and he's going to kill us all.

    Chaos darling.

    I'm saving that one for the journey back ..
    The son has lizards and I always buy the noisy crickets whilst in the big city
    Makes for great mirth watching people trying to figure out what the noise is or are they loose
    On the train

    I once in a fairly loud voice shouted "the bloody snake is loose " and did have a conversation with a friend about dead and live mice being eaten by my snake whilst looking in a bag whit crickets in it


  • #24
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    Stick on The Cassandra Crossing, that's a cool train film.


  • #25
    FluffyAngel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 518 ✭✭✭FluffyAngel


    SomeFool wrote: »
    Im on he same train, the fella across:from me is eating away at a packet of ham :)

    Somefool meet fluffy angel ..we are now train buddy's :) let's have a game of hide and seek I'm hiding .. You find me


  • #26
    Mint Aero
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,570 ✭✭✭Mint Aero


    Dublin? Who would want to go to Dublin!? HAHAHAHA Am I right guys?


  • #27
    eviltimeban
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,129 ✭✭✭eviltimeban


    Von Ryan's Express, on the "good train movies" theme.


  • #28
    biko
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,219 ✭✭✭✭biko


    FluffyAngel wrote: »
    How can I make this journey shorter ?
    You can't.
    Distance doesn't change unless there is an earthquake or summat.


  • #29
    SomeFool
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,452 ✭✭✭SomeFool


    FluffyAngel wrote: »
    Somefool meet fluffy angel ..we are now train buddy's :) let's have a game of hide and seek I'm hiding .. You find me

    And I'm gone!! Off to cork for me! Enjoy!


  • #30
    Aidric
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,591 ✭✭✭✭Aidric


    Take a few more lines of choo choo.


  • Advertisement
  • #31
    FluffyAngel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 518 ✭✭✭FluffyAngel


    Aidric wrote: »
    Take a few more lines of choo choo.

    Won't that derail me ?


  • #32
    Matt_Trakker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,052 ✭✭✭Matt_Trakker


    Why doesn't Ireland have a rule that conversations aren't allowed on public transport? I think every single person should stfu on public transport, listen to their ipods, watch something on their ipads/tablets or read a book/newspaper.


  • #33
    FluffyAngel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 518 ✭✭✭FluffyAngel


    Dear "hippy dippy Jill " I'm going to tell you how beautiful you are ..
    Please don't destroy my 2 1/2 hour fantasy by saying in a dub accent "shag off "


Advertisement