Is this digital harrassment and can I do anything?

LifeIsStrange · 27-05-2016 10:32AM #1

Hi,

I'm going through an exceptionally difficult separation at the moment, my ex is extremely abusive and controlling with addiction problems and as we get closer to court dates he's always looking for some sort of stunt to delay things further rather than allow me move on with my life.

Every single day at the moment somebody is attempting to access my facebook account, sometimes it's more than once. I get an alert from facebook which is how I know it's happening repeatedly.

There is a pattern to the times also, unfortunately I can't yet block him on my phone because we have a son and need to communicate in relation to access but these attempts to access my facebook tend to happen almost immediately after another of his insane abusive text rants.

I'm meeting my solicitor next week but I'm wondering if this is something I should report to the Gardai? My ex is a dangerous man, he's prone to violence and mental health problems as well as battling an addiction and I've already had to report him for harrassing me in public - literally standing in the street taking photos of me, following me and more.

While I can't prove it's him I myself know it is but I'm not sure whether I need to get it logged because while I don't believe he'll get into my account the fact that he's obsessively doing this every single day is bothering me because it seems to be the latest in a long line of fixations about me.

Any advice would be welcome.

ohnonotgmail · 27-05-2016 11:18AM

what do you mean by " attempting to access my facebook account"? do you mean that somebody is trying to unsuccessfully login to your facebook account?

LifeIsStrange · 27-05-2016 11:32AM

They're repeatedly having a guess at the password and when it doesn't work they try re-set it and that triggers an alert to my email. They've also tried to access my email after some of these attempts, I get alerts there too as I have it set up on gmail so a code is required.

ohnonotgmail · 27-05-2016 11:35AM

I get you know. to be honest i'm not sure if the gardai could (or would be willing to) do anything about it. they have not been able to access your account so no actual damage has been done.

OU812 · 27-05-2016 11:41AM

I don't think they can do anything but it's worth documentary film it with them (file a report).

If anything you'll create a paper trail of alleged harassment for your upcoming divorce.

Incidentally. If he's bat telling an addiction and he drives, you could do worse than to say this to the guards and give them his registration.

Change your passwords regularly and use a strong combination of letters numbers and wild cards that have no structure. Also if you share any utility bills that he no longer has responsibility for, have his name taken off them

LifeIsStrange · 27-05-2016 11:48AM

Thanks for the advice. He hasn't got access yet and I've taken to changing all passwords weekly because he got into accounts before so it's a habit I've stuck with. I think I will pop into the Gardai also, they are familiar with him because of some of his past antics so while they may not have the option to do anything no harm getting it noted just in case I need it later.

Thanks again.

heffomike54 · 27-05-2016 11:58AM

LifeIsStrange wrote: »

Thanks for the advice. He hasn't got access yet and I've taken to changing all passwords weekly because he got into accounts before so it's a habit I've stuck with. I think I will pop into the Gardai also, they are familiar with him because of some of his past antics so while they may not have the option to do anything no harm getting it noted just in case I need it later.

Thanks again.

It is very important to report any unacceptable behavior to the Gardaí as it may be vital for future court cases to have unbiased record of the event, this would hold more sway in court. Hope it all works out for you

foggy_lad · 27-05-2016 12:35PM

LifeIsStrange wrote: »

Thanks for the advice. He hasn't got access yet and I've taken to changing all passwords weekly because he got into accounts before so it's a habit I've stuck with. I think I will pop into the Gardai also, they are familiar with him because of some of his past antics so while they may not have the option to do anything no harm getting it noted just in case I need it later.

Thanks again.

I would not change passwords weekly, pick a strong password that has nothing to do with family/friends/you or your likes etc a mix of lower and upper case and numbers so something like "hTOn526fv5Ku". write it on something in your purse or put it in with a phone number as someone's address on your phone.

eldamo · 27-05-2016 02:19PM

foggy_lad wrote: »

I would not change passwords weekly, pick a strong password that has nothing to do with family/friends/you or your likes etc a mix of lower and upper case and numbers so something like "hTOn526fv5Ku". write it on something in your purse or put it in with a phone number as someone's address on your phone.

Or something super long that you will be able to remember that someone would be unable to guess (and also computers find hard to crack, not that is sounds like this guy will be at it)

ILikeBigButts&ICannotLie

no need for a papertrail, and he's not gonna guess a line from a song

PLL · 27-05-2016 02:23PM

Why do you need Facebook to communicate with him? Can you not use calls, text, WhatsApp?

MarkR · 27-05-2016 02:28PM

PLL wrote: »

Why do you need Facebook to communicate with him? Can you not use calls, text, WhatsApp?

I don't think she is using it to communicate with them, the other person is just trying to log in as them, presumably using their email address or mobile as the login.

Actually, with gmail you can use an alternate version of your email. Explained better here.

One trick you may or may not have picked up about Gmail is that you can add in periods anywhere in the front part of your address and it makes no difference whatsoever: john.smith@gmail.com works just the same as johnsmith@gmail.com. What's more, you can add a plus sign and any word before the @ sign (e.g. johnsmith+hello@gmail.com) and messages will still reach you. If these tweaks make no difference, then why use them? One major reason: filters.

If you change your email login, he won't be able to guess it to try to get in. If he's using the mobile number it might still throw up errors though.

No harm contacting facebook support. Maybe they can recommend something security wise. Do they offer 2 tier authentication?

Grudaire · 27-05-2016 02:32PM

Pretty sure you can change the email that your Facebook account is linked to, that would make it harder for him to get in.

The two factor login is also useful, link you accounts to your phone.

To be honest your accounts should be very secure with all of this, and it will provide you a strong argument of you record his attempts.

NUTLEY BOY · 27-05-2016 02:56PM

Legal advice not allowed here so these are two observations on general principles that might apply.

It occurs to me that the communications being received by the OP might constitute malicious communications i.e. communications designed or calculated to cause alarm or anxiety to the recipient.

Unfortunately I do not know where the exact matter of malicious communications might be covered specifically in Irish law.

Secondly, it occurs to me that some of the conduct might constitute harassment. This is a specific criminal offence as per S.10 of the Non-fatal Offences Against the person Act 1997. Here is a link http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/eli/1997/act/26/section/10/enacted/en/html#sec10

OP would be best advised to speak to her solicitor first about these latest matters before she does anything like reporting to the Gardai. I suggest this so as to avoid the classical scenario where a solicitor and client head off in different directions on a particular matter and end up tripping over each other. The solicitor needs to be properly briefed before the client goes on a solo run !!

Best of luck OP with horrible situation but don't let the ba other party get you down.

ohnonotgmail · 27-05-2016 02:59PM

NUTLEY BOY wrote: »

Legal advice not allowed here so these are two observations on general principles that might apply.

It occurs to me that the communications being received by the OP might constitute malicious communications i.e. communications designed or calculated to cause alarm or anxiety to the recipient.

Unfortunately I do not know where the exact matter of malicious communications might be covered specifically in Irish law.

Secondly, it occurs to me that some of the conduct might constitute harassment. This is a specific criminal offence as per S.10 of the Non-fatal Offences Against the person Act 1997. Here is a link http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/eli/1997/act/26/section/10/enacted/en/html#sec10

OP would be best advised to speak to her solicitor first about these latest matters before she does anything like reporting to the Gardai. I suggest this so as to avoid the classical scenario where a solicitor and client head off in different directions on a particular matter and end up tripping over each other. The solicitor needs to be properly briefed before the client goes on a solo run !!

Best of luck OP with horrible situation but don't let the ba other party get you down.

the emails received are not coming from her ex they are coming from Facebook and gmail. they are simply warnings that somebody has tried to access her account. I'm not sure how can describe them as malicious.

NUTLEY BOY · 27-05-2016 03:03PM

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

the emails received are not coming from her ex they are coming from Facebook and gmail. they are simply warnings that somebody has tried to access her account. I'm not sure how can describe them as malicious.

Well understood.

I was thinking of the "after another of his insane abusive text rants" element of the case.

ohnonotgmail · 27-05-2016 03:05PM

NUTLEY BOY wrote: »

Well understood.

I was thinking of the "after another of his insane abusive text rants" element of the case.

yeah fair enough. If i was reporting anything to the gardai it would be them.

Permabear · 27-05-2016 03:12PM

This post has been deleted.

Shint0 · 27-05-2016 03:27PM

Are you sure it's not a phishing attempt? I had a spate of these about a year or two ago but when I checked previous Facebook emails from genuine mistakes on my part at logging in there was a very slight difference in those emails from the rogue ones. This may be a possibilty in your case.

Is this digital harrassment and can I do anything?

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