Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest
Guy on the bus this morning
Comments
-
-
-
-
-
-
Advertisement
-
-
-
-
I can't wait for Degsy to see that...hopefully most parents are paedophiles
Seriously though, to some people here: maybe don't undermine the photographing of teens by strangers - just because it's not necessarily gonna harm them doesn't mean it can be defended.
But yes, I think there is too much hysteria around the issue.0 -
-
Advertisement
-
-
okaaaaaaaaay, i think i know what the problem is here, why what i'm actually saying isn't coming across here, maybe its the way i word things--i have apparently come across as being on 'a high horse'.thanks Casper89 for the alienation gallor, from (paraphrasing here, don't shoot me) 'you're men, you just wouldn't get it' to 'women who like being looked at are sluts' you're really earning support here...
I'd say you're going too far, and saying taking a picture is the same as grabbing and not letting go of someone's arm, doesn't make any sense to me. (and yes, the second one is very illegal)
I remember doing a child protection course not so long ago which went from 'inappropriate contact' to always having more than one adult around (which is a measure to protect adults as much as children). They did mention that photography of children was a nono, but moreso because parents tend to overreact, than because of anything else.
I seriously don't mean to sound harsh here, but it sounds to me like a lot of the 'hurt' girls (or boys!) may feel around these 'pervy men' (or women!) has been caused much moreso by society and/or family stressing these horror paedo stories. I don't think it's good to have so little control that you can feel bad or uncomfortable just because someone is looking at you.
Also, saying the guy was ashamed, therefore wrong is total bull...
However, I agree that the OP was right, and personally if I ever see someone acting in a disrespectful way to anyone, whether leering, taking photos inappropriately / without permission (personally, there's taking photos behind a newspaper, and there's leaning over and saying 'sorry, my friend wants to know what your uniform is like, mind if i take a photo?'), touching someone without permission or anything else, I'll have a word with them.
But, and here's the hard one to call, if someone takes a photo in an appropriate way, and then goes on to use that photo inappropriately, no one has been harmed and if I'm very wishful, I think this person has avoided doing something worse. I'm not saying it's right, and I'm not saying it's an ideal scenario, but maybe it's not so terrible. Personally, I think we need to look at paedophilia (it's funny how the word has been twisted, it literally means to love children, hopefully most parents are paedophiles...) and try to figure out if they're bad people, is it a disease? is it a conscious preference, and are we doing any good by branding people as scumbags and freaks for this preference?
i am really going to try and express exactly where i stand so i don't have to refer to everyone's posts again and again:p because i feel what i've said has been put out of context in places, and in places warped for arguments sake.
now i have explained why i mentioned the grabbing experience...its to do more with the OP original question--intervene if you think something is inappropriate?
i already said i know the two acts are not the same.
and yes, i believe the whole perv thing is not as poignant to men as women, teenage girls are made uncomfortable by the creepy guy watching them eat their lunch in town, so its something most girls just are familiar with! my point with men, perverts become more of a threat when they have their own children, or perhaps their sisters, because, like with girls, it becomes more personal, that's all.
the last thing i want to come across as is a 'every guy is staring at me is a potential rapist, or pedo for that matter' overprotective girl, i was just defending the OP's concern that what he was doing was wrong.
now you have just said that if you had witnessed what the OP might have witnessed (and i'm not even going to go into the whole did he didn't he thing again--i've said we all don't know because we weren't there! he very well might have been a techno-phobe struggling with his new shiny camera phone, i was just defending the OP's concern that he was in fact purposely taking the photo---yes i know its not the biggest crime in the world, i've stressed this also!) and you say that if you were there you'd do or say something. noooooow, i was defending this type of concern for others all along...tell me where you disagree then?
you even include 'leering' as acting in a disrespectful way...i have said that but its been turned around as i think men shouldn't look at me, other women, or children at all....
i say real men have honour, respect and manners, surely a compliment to most!:pac: and then i'm mean to people with fetishes? and sluts?
i said sluts are women who sleep with anyone...correct me where i'm wrong.
basically, all i've said is the OP was not being over-reactive to be concerned at all, whether his concerns were based in fact or not is not for us to say, and really no grounds for arguement, we just don't know!
now i've said it all again...blurry picture not a big crime, it mightn't have even happened at all, perverts are perverted,i.e. not all sex-on-the-brain men,(again, not saying the man on the bus was! i don't knooooow!) and when i was going to school, me and my friends were scared of the local perverts--we were not hysterical, just very catious and steered clear--and i don't believe that's going too far.
grown women are scared of perverts, i read an article in a newspaper and the woman journalist had become frightened of this old man coming onto her everyday because he had discovered viagra! she laughed it off at first, but he started to get worse and she got scared...and embarrassed, feelings of guilt made her feel like it must've been her fault in some way!
now, no, this guy isn't the biggest threat in the world, but she shouldn't have been made to feel that way--but its not a perfect world and these things do happen, all i'm trying to say is that it's not ok and that behaviour is of course to be frowned upon, that's all!
its one thing to be staring at a girl, its another to be perverted---perverted is being messed-up sexually-that's why pedos fall into that category...and again i aint got no prob with the fetishes! fetishes are different! perversions are not fetishes, per se. perversions have their own category called perversions:p that's where i'm saying there's a difference.
oh, and how is saying that because he was trying to hide what he was doing, that that was a sign he was ashamed or knew it was wrong, is bull? it seems a perfectly good conclusion to me! why else would he hide it?
we hide things that we are ashamed of, or that we know we could get in trouble for...correct me where i'm wrong?
i felt attacked, but i'm staying calm and i'm not trying to argue with anyone or seem like i have some moral high ground, i apologise if i came across that way it was not my intention!0 -
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Advertisement
-
-
-
can't say I personally got that impression.i have apparently come across as being on 'a high horse'.
fair enough, if you realise the two are completely different, but the point is the frame of reference, not everyone thinks the same thing is inappropriate or inappropriate to the same extent, pointing to something which everyone thinks is inappropriate seems to ignore the fact that the OP's original case is in something of a gray area.now i have explained why i mentioned the grabbing experience...its to do more with the OP original question--intervene if you think something is inappropriate?
i already said i know the two acts are not the same.
I can see how girls (or boys!) could feel uncomfortable when a stranger looks at them, but sometimes a thicker skin and a little bit of ignoring it is required. There's a difference between someone actually drooling (you keep mentioning this idea of the drooling pervert, but I can't say I've ever seen it happen...) which is obviously unsettling and not ok, and someone simply looking, which, while not very nice, does not deserve the same sensationalism as the 'drooling perv'. I think you underestimate people's abilities for empathy here, I personally have a young sister and while I'm not comfortable with the idea of men looking at her inappropriately, I can understand the need for reasonability and developing a thicker skin as well.and yes, i believe the whole perv thing is not as poignant to men as women, teenage girls are made uncomfortable by the creepy guy watching them eat their lunch in town, so its something most girls just are familiar with! my point with men, perverts become more of a threat when they have their own children, or perhaps their sisters, because, like with girls, it becomes more personal, that's all.
how do you draw the line between staring and leering then? is it to do with the man's clothes? age? beard or no beard? Personally I'd say they're pretty close but leering is staring with a bit of a nasty expression layered on top, still very hard to call.the last thing i want to come across as is a 'every guy is staring at me is a potential rapist, or pedo for that matter' overprotective girl, i was just defending the OP's concern that what he was doing was wrong.
I agree with having a word or stopping inappropriate behaviour, especially where others are made to feel uncomfortable, what I disagree with is excessive sensationalism, just have a look back over the thread, look at your use of capitalisation, it's not necessary here.now you have just said that if you had witnessed what the OP might have witnessed (and i'm not even going to go into the whole did he didn't he thing again--i've said we all don't know because we weren't there! he very well might have been a techno-phobe struggling with his new shiny camera phone, i was just defending the OP's concern that he was in fact purposely taking the photo---yes i know its not the biggest crime in the world, i've stressed this also!) and you say that if you were there you'd do or say something. noooooow, i was defending this type of concern for others all along...tell me where you disagree then?
perverts are perverted? If you're going to go to the trouble of defining the word you may as well give it a better stab than that... Your local perverts? I don't know where you live but I was unaware of every community having it's 'local perverts'... You're making this out to sound so ordinary, I suggest you go have a look at a definition of perversion, it has it's bases in 'normality' and statistics...perverts are perverted,i.e. not all sex-on-the-brain men,(again, not saying the man on the bus was! i don't knooooow!) and when i was going to school, me and my friends were scared of the local perverts--we were not hysterical, just very catious and steered clear--and i don't believe that's going too far.
You're doing it again! You're taking a case that we all agree is inappropriate, that's easy to call, when the one in discussion is actually in a gray area.grown women are scared of perverts, i read an article in a newspaper and the woman journalist had become frightened of this old man coming onto her everyday because he had discovered viagra! she laughed it off at first, but he started to get worse and she got scared...and embarrassed, feelings of guilt made her feel like it must've been her fault in some way!
now, no, this guy isn't the biggest threat in the world, but she shouldn't have been made to feel that way--but its not a perfect world and these things do happen, all i'm trying to say is that it's not ok and that behaviour is of course to be frowned upon, that's all!
I'm sorry but that's gibberish, you're not explaining where or why the line is drawn between normal sexual preference and abnormal sexual preference. Again, it comes back to this idea of normality, if perverts are so common as you seem to think, then they are actually normal...its one thing to be staring at a girl, its another to be perverted---perverted is being messed-up sexually-that's why pedos fall into that category...and again i aint got no prob with the fetishes! fetishes are different! perversions are not fetishes, per se. perversions have their own category called perversions:p that's where i'm saying there's a difference.
My point was this, just because a man tries to hide something, does not mean the something is wrong. For a long time homosexuality was considered wrong by society, homosexuals were made to feel ashamed and so hid their actions, this does not make homosexuality wrong.oh, and how is saying that because he was trying to hide what he was doing, that that was a sign he was ashamed or knew it was wrong, is bull? it seems a perfectly good conclusion to me! why else would he hide it?
we hide things that we are ashamed of, or that we know we could get in trouble for...correct me where i'm wrong?
I'm sorry you feel attacked, I'm not, nor I hope is anyone else, trying to attack you, this is why I always refer to girls(or boys!) as opposed to you personally.i felt attacked, but i'm staying calm and i'm not trying to argue with anyone or seem like i have some moral high ground, i apologise if i came across that way it was not my intention!
EDIT: my sincerest apologies for posting something so long and serious in after hours. I guess I should probably be slapped silly... although that would be harrassment so...0 -
-
-
lostinnappies wrote: »long thread here, just answering op .... what would i have done i would have stood up and plonked my big FAT arse in his line of sight so he couldnt see past lol
But I dont have a fat ass!!
0 -
-
-
-
Advertisement
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Advertisement
-
Advertisement