Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

languagenerd

"Ah Jaaaaysus, wat type of bank doesn't ave enuf dollars? ur a BANK!"

Eh, a bank in Ireland?

Tallaght Saint

ihss acc unreall howw muchh i miss meii nannyy ♥♥♥♥

English translation; "It's actually unreal how much I miss my Nanny"

JerryHandbag

cup of tea wrote: »

These 2 people that appeared on my newsfeed. Said I had to drop it in here. They are in fact 21 year olds and not 14 year olds you might find it hard to believe!.



Attachment not found.

Suffering Jesus. The english language is ****ed.

Alkers

Hates people who idolise Chuck Norris, he's just a stupid actor! If he was such a god he would come to my house and slap my head to the keyboauy76hgyytgrfdcextghujyi
uyjhgjtg

maxfresh

ICANN wrote: »

'Put da christmas 3 up 2day'.

seriously


. . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . ,.-‘”. . . . . . . . . .``~.,
. . . . . . . .. . . . . .,.-”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .“-.,
. . . . .. . . . . . ..,/. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ”:,
. . . . . . . .. .,?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\,
. . . . . . . . . /. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,}
. . . . . . . . ./. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:`^`.}
. . . . . . . ./. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:”. . . ./
. . . . . . .?. . . __. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . :`. . . ./
. . . . . . . /__.(. . .“~-,_. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:`. . . .. ./
. . . . . . /(_. . ”~,_. . . ..“~,_. . . . . . . . . .,:`. . . . _/
. . . .. .{.._$;_. . .”=,_. . . .“-,_. . . ,.-~-,}, .~”; /. .. .}
. . .. . .((. . .*~_. . . .”=-._. . .“;,,./`. . /” . . . ./. .. ../
. . . .. . .\`~,. . ..“~.,. . . . . . . . . ..`. . .}. . . . . . ../
. . . . . .(. ..`=-,,. . . .`. . . . . . . . . . . ..(. . . ;_,,-”
. . . . . ../.`~,. . ..`-.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..\. . /\
. . . . . . \`~.*-,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..|,./.....\,__
,,_. . . . . }.>-._\. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .|. . . . . . ..`=~-,
. .. `=~-,_\_. . . `\,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\
. . . . . . . . . .`=~-,,.\,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . `:,, . . . . . . . . . . . . . `\. . . . . . ..__
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .`=-,. . . . . . . . . .,%`>--==``
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _\. . . . . ._,-%. . . ..`\

plein de force

this illiterate woman i know posts constant crap about her little girl


"amg jewlie jus 8 all er dinna, she beecomin a big gurl nw awh"
translation: omg julie just ate all of her dinner, she's becoming a big girl now awh

"so qte, jewlie cam into ma room dis mrnin and sed she lvd me b4 dadi brot er to skwl"

translation: so cute(i think), julie came into my room this morning and said she loved be before daddy brought her to school.

this woman is 30 and still writes like that

i don't know why but there are a few people i know like this

efb

It's a great human filter I find.

Fluorescence

we all that one friend that if a guy kisses theire neck theire legs turn to jelly :L:L

Good lord :eek:

Dan133269

Tallaght Saint wrote: »

ihss acc unreall howw muchh i miss meii nannyy ♥♥♥♥

English translation; "It's actually unreal how much I miss my Nanny"

Is it just me or is it usually people who had absolutely nothing to do with their relative when they are alive who post up these statuses. A relative of mine is constantly on about her father who died 5 years ago, the thing is she didn't have much interest in him when he was alive.

Another girl I know posts up stuff about her dead father literally every day.
I wonder do these people feel guilty for something they did or didn't do when their parents were alive?

az2wp0sye65487

Dan133269 wrote: »

Tallaght Saint wrote: »

ihss acc unreall howw muchh i miss meii nannyy ♥♥♥♥

English translation; "It's actually unreal how much I miss my Nanny"

Is it just me or is it usually people who had absolutely nothing to do with their relative when they are alive who post up these statuses. A relative of mine is constantly on about her father who died 5 years ago, the thing is she didn't have much interest in him when he was alive.

Another girl I know posts up stuff about her dead father literally every day.
I wonder do these people feel guilty for something they did or didn't do when their parents were alive?

No. They're just looking for attention and sympathy. I've seen plenty of it myself...

Aoifey!

"bored sum crack doh"

This is possibly the most pointless statuses I have ever seen.

MonkeyBalls

Watching porn earlier. Girl opened her mouth wide. Saw a tooth filling. Made me think of her as human. Boner destroyed.

Roisy7

Not a silly status update....

A lad from home died during the summer, we weren't particularly friendly but we would have had lots of people in common.

He came up in my friends suggestions today...

I found it really creepy.

Catari Jaguar

Everything happens for a reason
What's meant to be won't pass u by
Needs strength
Sigh.
The chin is up

Feckin cryptic attention seeking. *ignore*

Guill

Repost this if you love your mum,
Kepp scrolling and she will die in 12 days.

moco

Dan133269 wrote: »

Is it just me or is it usually people who had absolutely nothing to do with their relative when they are alive who post up these statuses. A relative of mine is constantly on about her father who died 5 years ago, the thing is she didn't have much interest in him when he was alive.

Another girl I know posts up stuff about her dead father literally every day.
I wonder do these people feel guilty for something they did or didn't do when their parents were alive?

One girl on my facebook falsely accused her dad of sexually abusing her to get attention when he was alive. He died about 10 years ago and every few days there are status updates about how much she misses him, he was the perfect dad ever etc. :rolleyes:

The King of Moo

A friend of mine posted these two close together...

"[insert name here] was at Aldi."

"[insert name here] was at Dunnes Stores."

Why?
Were they the two most interesting places they went to ever, as they've never posted that before.

plein de force wrote: »

this illiterate woman i know posts constant crap about her little girl


"amg jewlie jus 8 all er dinna, she beecomin a big gurl nw awh"
translation: omg julie just ate all of her dinner, she's becoming a big girl now awh

"so qte, jewlie cam into ma room dis mrnin and sed she lvd me b4 dadi brot er to skwl"

translation: so cute(i think), julie came into my room this morning and said she loved be before daddy brought her to school.

this woman is 30 and still writes like that

i don't know why but there are a few people i know like this

She can't spell her own daughter's name!? :eek:

cup of tea

typical facebook shyte....


BLUE eyes are the most intelligent and happy. They have the best hugs and will always hold on the longest, they always end up falling for people they havn't known long they are the most hyper and energetic. repost this if you have blue eyes:)

mackg

moco wrote: »

One girl on my facebook falsely accused her dad of sexually abusing her to get attention when he was alive. He died about 10 years ago and every few days there are status updates about how much she misses him, he was the perfect dad ever etc. :rolleyes:

Wow that's fucked up

leggo

Saw one of your typical "My life and my Facebook are my children!" types talking about how she was upset that Oxegen wasn't on this year.

Specifically, in the comments she noted that she wouldn't have got pregnant during last year's event if she knew it'd be the last one. Mother of the year, folks!

Cheeky_gal

Hate these ones..

"Happy Bday To Me Beautiful Lil Boy Jake , E's Four Tday E's Me Best Friend In De Whole World N I'm De Proudest Mammy Ever ! I Love You Jake xxx"

F**k off !

The King of Moo

"What date does New years day fall on?

When I saw this, I gave the person the benefit of the doubt and assumed they meant to say "day" instead of "date."

But then I looked at the comments:

Friend 1: nexted sunday hun

Friend 2: ‎1st of january, same as every other year.

OP: So if it hits 12,oclock on the 31st its new years day..

OP: ‎"Thanx Friend 1 its was the date I was lookin for sweetie..

Friend 1: 1 st off january

Friend 2: Yes OP. Dec 31st is New Years Eve (the eve of the New Year) The following day is the first day of the new year, hence New Years Day.

OP: "Thank's I'm well pleased now...everyone was telling me different days and dates...:-)

Surely if there's one date that's easy to guess from the name of the day...

cup of tea

cup of tea wrote: »

typical facebook shyte....


BLUE eyes are the most intelligent and happy. They have the best hugs and will always hold on the longest, they always end up falling for people they havn't known long they are the most hyper and energetic. repost this if you have blue eyes:)

i don't want hugs from eyes, eww

Rolli

'Ugh, lost my phone :z'
(Via Blackberry)

GreenWolfe

Rolli wrote: »

'Ugh, lost my phone :z'
(Via Blackberry)

They might have more than one phone, or bought one to replace their lost handset. I switch between a Symbian phone and an Android one, so my status updates can be via a particular Symbian app or via Android.

Got this from a distant relative on my timeline. Ugh.

May love and laughter light your days,
(¯`♥¯)..♥ and warm your heart and home.
*`•.¸.•´(¯`♥´¯)..♥ May good and faithful friends be yours,
*******.`•.¸.•´(¯`♥´¯)..♥ Wherever you may roam.
*************.`•.¸.•´(¯`♥´¯)..♥ May peace and plenty bless your world
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... *******************.`•.¸.•´……♥. with joy that long endures.
From My HEART ♥To Yours♥(¯♥¯)..♥ May all life's passing seasons
***********************.`•.¸.•´…♥. bring the best to you and yours! L♥ve & Peace♥ Always ♥

Sitec

"Cant belevie it's crimbo already!!were does da time go?"



Shut up you fat ould bitch.

missbelle

my little cousin - Works at being a full time bebo stunnah



Does that job pay well?

Rolli

missbelle wrote: »

my little cousin - Works at being a full time bebo stunnah



Does that job pay well?

Even I know what that is

GreenWolfe

missbelle wrote: »

my little cousin - Works at being a full time bebo stunnah



Does that job pay well?

Looking at my friend list I have friends who supposedly work at:

• R & D at Black Mesa
• Ebola Virus Manufacturing at Secret Underground Laboratory

Probably just misdirection.

floutingmaxims

Couples who share a facebook page... ridiculous!

skeleton_boy

Handy if they're looking for a bit of spice in their relationship though :pac:

padd b1975

moco wrote: »

One girl on my facebook falsely accused her dad of sexually abusing her to get attention when he was alive. He died about 10 years ago and every few days there are status updates about how much she misses him, he was the perfect dad ever etc. :rolleyes:

Fcuking hypocrite needs to be called on that!

Defiler Of The Coffin

Why don't people post youtube links properly? Seems they copy the URL from the browser address bar instead of using the link given by the 'Share Video' button. It messes up the title and preview

XxMCRxBabyxX

Defiler Of The Coffin wrote: »

Why don't people post youtube links properly? Seems they copy the URL from the browser address bar instead of using the link given by the 'Share Video' button. It messes up the title and preview

I've always used the URL from the address bar and have never seen a problem with any YouTube video that I've shared?

skipz

Taking a sh!t - with Joe Bloggs and 167 others
at My toilet.

Honestly, why do people put sh1te like this up?

arybvtcw0eolkf

Poor inlaws broke in2 by scum on Xmas Nite xxxx glad they didn't harm any1 with the knife but poor SJs car a write-off

Now there's a pisser at Christmas :mad:

Gunslinger92

On the pintsa shlump tonight in Dingle kaaad!

I THINK it means the dumbass hipster weirdo who posted that is having pints in Dingle tonight?

later12

Not quite a status update but had the following conversation with a friend this morning!

Anonymity has been preserved (& this person doesn't live in ireland).

http://i42.tinypic.com/2mo6lfm.png

membersonly

People posting pictures of their Christmas dinners...it's not a competition folks.

Choke on it please, hard.

Nothingbetter2d

i have a rl friend on facebook that in person says very very little.... put a laptop in front her with facebook open and you go to your facebook and she'll chat for hours on end.... some people are really strange

she even goes to the extent of having full blown conversations with herself on facebook

here is one such sample

"I must reply to txts... effort... Hope everyone had a lovely day x Ours was very relaxed - great. Playing, "Guess who I'm thinking of", as it's less animated than charades. You ask questions. Twenty, "No's" & you're gone. Ha ha! Just remembered my brother going mad years ago, because Bettie Page (who I was thinking of), was too difficult
Like · · Sunday at 23:24 ·

username: Dad's winning one nil. No-one got Alan Titchmarch.
Sunday at 23:25 · Like
username: Twenty no's between everyone. If you jump in & get it, you get a point.
Sunday at 23:29 · Like
username: ‎2 - 0 to Dad - who wasn't drinking last night. He got the Dali Lama.
Sunday at 23:38 · Like
username: Running away with it Dad - got Shakespeare.
Sunday at 23:53 · Like
username: Ha ha ha! Does she sing, does she act & she's English? She's an author... hmmm... Jordan! Well done Jules.
Sunday at 23:58 · Like
username: Louis Pasteur - well done Jules. Not hard enough Liam
Monday at 00:14 · Like
username: Dad; "Think outside the box, think outside the box..." *Casually plays with a box of fags in his hands - Kent fags. Kaiser Soze moment! "It's Clark Kent! I said Superman!" "Well, technically username:, Clark Kent is not Superman..."
Monday at 00:29 · Like"


now there is noone else posting comments in that status threadnuaght she created. ive changed her name to username: because to forum mods would probably hit me with a ban hammer.

this person also loves taking photos of herself.... not anyone else though... she has uploaded some 250+ photos of herself so far. She is good looking but ive seen her without makeup on... fairly average looking without the war paint on.

danslevent

This is the same person....

http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/215/facebookfailf.png/

http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/215/facebookfail2.png/

Aoifey!

danslevent wrote: »

http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/215/facebookfail2.png/

That's actually pretty funny :pac:

danslevent

Aoifey! wrote: »

That's actually pretty funny :pac:

You know something is funny when you read it, and you laugh.

Defiler Of The Coffin

http://www.voiceable.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Grammar.jpg

Peter03

"Nap's are nice! Lol..! I tink my wrist is broke:("

Tesco Massacre

Cawcheen wrote: »

Couples who share a facebook page... ridiculous!

A friend of mine & his fiance regularly comment on each other's updates.

Friend: went out for a run this morning in the freezing cold
Fiance: Lolz, babe ur crazy!

They live together.

cazzzzz

Have a friend who changes her current location to where her boyfriend lives EVERY time she goes there and when she gets home she changes it back to where she lives.

Unsubscribe...


She's also the type to join groups like '2011- what a year, made new friends, found out who my real friends were...bla bla' *Insert like this if you cried comment here*

HandsomeDivil

Peter03 wrote: »

"Fap's are nice! Lol..! I tink my wrist is broke:("

FYP:rolleyes:

Led Zeppelin The Clash

This just popped up recently

''Hahaha I Luv u ann great crk outside eatin ben n jerrys choco fudge ice cream yummy hah or on de green tryna do de splits nd doin handstands nd cartwheels hahha mad nite lUv U BiaTcH xxxxxXxxxxxxX''

By the way I changed the persons real name to Ann.

Oh heres another.

''OMB Justin Bieber's grandparents were in a car crash luckily they are alive just broken ribs ahh poor Justin & pattie ♥ #prayforjustinsgrandparents x''

ordinary_girl

I remember a few years ago when I was still in school there was this absolute bull****ter in my class who always went on about how wasted she got during the weekend. I remember she put up a status update along the lines of "Ah messy one last night, in bits." One of the lads commented "What?! All you had was a bottle of bacardi that you didn't even finish!" Her response was something like "eh, yeah, I meant it was a messy night for everyone else." :rolleyes: