The worst sex you have ever had with someone?

John Doe1

update: new years

I went to bed with a girl, was good until she squeeezed my testicles too much!! the agony:(

Big Knox

A few years ago a friend of mine was after a girl we know through a different social circle, anyway we're all out one night and he gets chatting to her and whatever happens he gets her number.

Anyway a few days later they arrange to meet and go for a spin. So he drives out to a local beach with her that night. He gets to the empty car park and pulls up. Without saying anything he just opens his zip and pulls his pants down displaying himself (hes renowned for **** like this). To say he didn't get the reaction he wanted is an understatement. She immediately starts pissing herself laughing uncontrollably so much so she has to open the door and get out of the car.

So she's standing there in tears laughing at him. Him feeling the absolute d1ckhead that he is he pulls the door closed and drives off leaving her there. 15 miles away from town!!!

Obviously the story got back to pretty much everyone and he is now that guy!! :pac:

John Doe1

Big Knox wrote: »

A few years ago a friend of mine was after a girl we know through a different social circle, anyway we're all out one night and he gets chatting to her and whatever happens he gets her number.

Anyway a few days later they arrange to meet and go for a spin. So he drives out to a local beach with her that night. He gets to the empty car park and pulls up. Without saying anything he just opens his zip and pulls his pants down displaying himself (hes renowned for **** like this). To say he didn't get the reaction he wanted is an understatement. She immediately starts pissing herself laughing uncontrollably so much so she has to open the door and get out of the car.

So she's standing there in tears laughing at him. Him feeling the absolute d1ckhead that he is he pulls the door closed and drives off leaving her there. 15 miles away from town!!!

Obviously the story got back to pretty much everyone and he is now that guy!! :pac:

Ah big knox I specifically told you not to tell that on an internet forum:o

Nothingbetter2d

cruiser178 wrote: »

Either the time I broke my virginity which was in a graveyard after school, with the school bike, I wondered afterwards is this what sex is all about, man that was crap. Inexperience eh.
Or the time I snapped my banjo string, FÚUUCCCK!!! that was painful, according to the "lady" who had many orgasms I might add :cool:, my face was a picture.

i bet you replaced your banjo string with her g string.... it probably sounded funny.

Viral Vector

Big Steve wrote: »

A girl farted in my face when I went down on her. That's right farted not queefed Well needless to say I left after that happened.

Same...horrified!

Also a girl bled in me bed and we were too drunk to notice! She ruined my favorite sheets!

GO_Bear

Not really disgusting or all that embarrasing,

Was out with some friends and ended up chatting up and scoring a very pretty woman, much prettier than I normally end up with, or deserve !

So all going well, few shift's in the club then back to her apartment, quickly nude up and begin the deed, the sex is fantastic, however I was in the " I'm so locked stage" where you can get it up but just can't cum, as it was mentioned already in the thread I think, the "drunken sex god state".

Typical I have average stamina, but jesus that night I was like an energiser bunny with nothing happening, at this stage she has cum three times ( if she was honest har har har ) and still nothing for me, now I think she must have taken it as a personnel insult that she could not make me cum, or she did not know this drunken higher state of sex being, because she would not let up at all, she was determined to make me come and she began asking me if everything was alright ...

I said it was fine, blamed it on everything ... " Oh I have never came from blowjobs ", " its those **** extra safe condoms " and so on so forth, at this stage I just wanted to spoon and go to sleep, i'm a long time smoker and don't have the athletic energy for this ****

So she rips off the johnny and starts pumping it like a water cannon, now I am going red raw .... the fustration is getting to her and she's starting to be just plain rough, no real rythmn, and in general a bad handie, knowing I had to interviene to have any hope, I make an excuse to use the bathroom and ran in, deciding it needed a gentler touch .. I began masturbating in the bathroom to try bring myself closer, a few minutes of smooth rythmnic masturbation I am almost there ........ but too my horror I overshot the mark and blew one of the most pleasurable loads of my life all over her bathroom

I go back into bed and she still won't let up, she won't rest until she made me cum, and I can hardly tell her I knocked one off in her jacks now can I .... needless to say it was a long night after that .... but I began to sober up after that


In hindsight its probably more a story of the best **** I have ever had ...

tallus

John Doe1 wrote: »

I'm pretty much a god in bed

That's not the way your mother tells it