The worst sex you have ever had with someone?

An ex-English policeman has been jailed for six months for leading his former colleagues on a car chase because he was so embarrassed about being pulled over while driving nude.

Andy Easterby, 30, had been on holiday with his girlfriend at the resort town of Scarborough in North Yorkshire, Britain's Daily Mail reported.

The couple ended the trip by having sex in their car in the early hours of the morning.

Easterby did not put his clothes back on and was seen by an alert CCTV operator, driving nude through the town centre at 3am.

Police were dispatched. But Easterby was so embarrassed at the prospect of being caught by former colleagues in a state of undress that he reversed at speed as they approached.

His tyres smoking, Easterby drove the wrong way down one-way streets and went through no-entry signs with his girlfriend in the passenger seat, the court heard.

He briefly succeeded in evading police but was soon forced to abandon his car and continue the escape bid on foot.

He was eventually found crouching behind a rubbish bin, wearing only shoes and socks.

Easterby pleaded guilty to dangerous driving yesterday and was jailed for six months and banned from driving for three years.

The judge acknowledged Easterby's embarrassment but said that he needed to deter people from leading the police on chases.

It was not Easterby's first driving offence. He was forced to end his eight-year career as a policeman two years ago after being convicted of drink-driving.

Stiffler2 wrote: »

I do this probably 95% of the time. The wife isn't happy but she cums before I do anyway and women get the multiples so who cares since she has cum already.

The main reason for this is I fookin hate kids so there ye go ladies.
If blokes do this to you you now know the reason why.

kryogen wrote: »

I still dont think he has forgiven me, i have never touched a virgin again just in case

kryogen wrote: »

May aswell throw in my one now

I had been seeing this girl for a few weeks, about 3 i think, when i was younger, she was still a virgin and we had planned to have sex on this one particular night when her parents were both away, my only previous experience with virgins had been positive so on the night in question i arrive at the house all excited and giddy to be the first one to get inside this beautiful womans vagina and we have a nice dinner, watch a dvd then decide to head upstairs

I do my best to make her as comfortable as possible, massage her, finger her, go down on her etc... tell her how beautiful she is and everything and then I get the tip in, and my God the screaming was unbearable! you would swear i had stabbed her in the eye with a knife!

So i steadied myself, got the lube, which i had brought too in case of complications and tried again, slowly, this time i got it in, success!!!!! it was quite painful for her at the start but then she relaxed, i could feel her start to enjoy herself the longer it went on which was great

except for one thing, i was bored as ****!!! this was quite easily the worst sexual experience of my life and was the one and only time i have Faked It... after a considerable amount of time of her lying like a sack of potatos and refusing to move at all in case it hurt her, i had asked her to get on top as i said she would find it easier to control how deep i went etc... i just pretended to be getting close, started breathing heavier, made stupid noises and all that, sure she wasnt gonna know any different was she and pretended to come with a final thrust

I then got off her and had to finish my blood soaked penis off myself in the bathroom while being as quiet as possible!

I still dont think he has forgiven me, i have never touched a virgin again just in case

kryogen wrote: »

17 and correct!

i didnt claim to be the cleverest back then!!!

Sue me

bebostunnah wrote: »

Never asked for it?

cul-2008 wrote: »

hahaha this thread is priceless - trying to read it here with the parents sitting opposite me trying not to burst out laughing!

and as for the tags for this post...bahaha

"is it in yet?, matt-dublin likes boys, swap jizz & fanny batter, taco tits. fancy., virgins 1 and all"

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Didn't cop that until now man.

They were all added by sitebanned troll bebowhateverthefeck.

I have removed the tags.... I guess I could siteban them again but it won't make much odds.

44leto wrote: »

I would love to have sex with a female clown, it would be worth a twisted penis.

bigpints wrote: »

hmmmmmm, were to start with this one, havent even told my good friends this one, hope you enjoy

was in prague one weekend on a stags and with all stags you find yourself in the highest of upstanding places to go on a night out with your friends, strip clubs mainly........

so after many beers, many nightclubs and strip clubs me and one of my friends went on the pull and clicked these two girls who had no word of english, but absolutley stunning, me not having sex for over the three month mark was very horny and gagging for some sex, no talking needed and we were all headed back to hotel, my friend had his own room so we went our seperate ways, get her back to the room when after about 30 seconds into fooling around the phone rings, the security guard asks that i get rid of the prostitute in my room (wasnt a prostitute), cleared that up by trying to ask the girl if she was a prostitute by making money hand gestures to the girl (smooth) who was not impressed, nodded the head to say no im not a prostitute and without even mentioning the security guard she was on her way out the door. (BALLS) So what i think anyone with 3 months of no sex i ran after her with my cock absolutley rock solid, the friction in the pants as i went after her was actually kinds nice, eventually tucked the little guy under the belt to hide the stalker and did my best to get her back.

Not rememebering she couldnt speak any english i said i was sorry and tried to explain the whole security guard incident to her but could see by her face she had no idea what i was saying, i even remember putting on a stupid czech accent and kept speaking english which obviously made no difference, oh the confusion.

Eventually she bought back into the irish charm with the czech accent and things were looking up (literally). But we couldnt go back to mine so down a smelly alley seemed like a good choice since i was so horny and just wanted to shoot and go to bed. So down some alley we went, after about 10-15 seconds of kissing and my cock pumping like a sore thumb she unbuckled my belt, i thought i was going to cum right there, im usually not bad in the bedroom, 15, somtimes 20 minutes, but this girl was ridiculously good looking and 3 months outside the bedroom few drinks on me and that little breeze hitting me as she took down my bottoms and i thought im just going to spooge right here.

i literally prayed right there, "PLEASE DONT CUM, PLEASE DONT CUM, PLEASE DONT CUM", "just give me 2 minutes please", sure she couldnt speak any english so was literally speaking out loud, still kissing she went to grab my tootsie roll and i quickly slapped it away, was like a girl on a first date when ya want a feel of her funbags, but if she gave that one tug i would have exploded, i didnt know what to do, she must have thought i didnt like foreplay or something (not that it was the best surrondings) and pulled out a condom, i thought ok maybe if we get that on i wont be so bad, but she grabbed the thing like a joystick, felt amazing but it was all comming (literally) to an end and just as she pulled back the condom over the worm i let out this very unfortunate YYEEEEEEEEEEEEP. Looked to the heavens and enjoyed the 2-3 seconds of pleasure and then said............ "BALLOX"

When i looked backed down the girl was bending over and had no idea that id just jizzed myself. I looked down at that unbelivable bum and thought what could have been, i turned the girl around pointed to the little guy and the look of disappointment was almost as bad as mine. I apologized to the girl and went on my way. Never had that problem since, of course i told the lads that i was a stallion the night before.