Things that happened while playing football as a kid

heavyballs

pappyodaniel wrote: »

GOO00ooalllLLLLL HANGERRRRRRrrrrrr

-Shouted at the lazy bastard mooching around the box waiting on tap ins.

No it was 'Ya lodging bastard ya'

fasttalkerchat

heavyballs wrote: »

No it was 'Ya lodging bastard ya'

We said Moochey-cúnt... didn't even know cúnt was a swear word.
If you stand there any longer the council will want rent money off you.

Lon.C

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

We said Moochey-cúnt... didn't even know cúnt was a swear word.
If you stand there any longer the council will want rent money off you.

We called it hatchin'. Anymore of that hatchin' your going in goal!!

euddue

It's Poaching! as in "stop poachin ya little chee-ur"

Kerrydude1981

I remember the day I went to a mates house for a kick around and he brought this ball out

http://www.kmbak.cba.pl/Pilki/1988%20Euro%20-%20Tango%20Europa.jpg

Holy sh1t we thought we were playing on the TV,all the top teams in England were sponsored by Adidas and used this ball,id say the ball lasted about two weeks before it got rolled over by a car

fasttalkerchat

euddue wrote: »

It's Poaching! as in "stop poachin ya little chee-ur"

Poaching is when you actually tap in someone else's goal.
Mooching is when you stand around waiting for the opportunity.

Two distinct offences, one gets you a slagging, the other gets a kicking.

gammygils

A gang of us in our teens playing soccer at the local National School on Sundays & the Master running us out of there whinging that it wasn't fair on his pupils the pitch being bare.
Yet he played there with his mates in his teens & the pitch was bare when
we were in school. But it was different for us!
It got nasty. Guards involved..etc.
Won't speak to the Bastard even to this day! It wasn't right

Mars Bar

gammygils wrote: »

A gang of us in our teens playing soccer at the local National School on Sundays & the Master running us out of there whinging that it wasn't fair on his pupils the pitch being bare.
Yet he played there with his mates in his teens & the pitch was bare when
we were in school. But it was different for us!
It got nasty. Guards involved..etc.
Won't speak to the Bastard even to this day! It wasn't right

In Tuam? Which national school in Tuam has a soccer pitch?

blatherskite

Am I the only one who remembers playing "headers, flicks and volleys"?

Agricola

Great memories...

Seem to remember we called this volleying game "10 point wembley"
One goal, a keeper and everyone else. Volleyed goals were a point to the team, misses or saves were a point to the keeper. First to 10 wins. Keeper stayed in as long as the other kepts winning, the last man to miss or get his shot saved went in goal.

Remember loving Football Italia and turning up to play one summer in a grubby Napoli shirt that was a second my Mam got me on the cheap from the sports shop in town. Thought I was the shizzle

Running around with the shirt pulled over your head like Ravanelli when you scored.....

"Headin' to the pitch" on special occasions. When there was enough lads around, we could leave the pokey garden with makeshift goals and walk to the local GAA pitch. Remembering to pick up the ball and handpass it around if anyone came in

Everyone being obsessed with practising free kicks.Fluking scoring great goal sometimes. Trying to replicate R Carlos's Tournoi goal :rolleyes: or just clippin in 20 yarders under the angle like Beckham. Feeling like a hero when they came off.

Games of "Over the wall" - Basically football tennis over a 4ft wall in front of someones house. Road on one side, big concrete drive on the other. Me mate's father gettin involved on plenty of occasions and being surprisingly good for an aul lad!

Designating one goal post at the end of a high hedge and the other one a vague area of the same hedge just across from it. Massive arguments ensuing because we never really knew if it was a goal or a miss.

Stray shots hitting the single pane window of the sitting room. Mate's father looking out with a face like a smacked arse and wavin his fist at us!

Football from early afternoon til sunset

Constantly being annoyed that the weather was too shít to play football...

blatherskite

Agricola wrote: »

Trying to replicate R Carlos's Tournoi goal

I used to try that aswel! And I've never even managed to slightly do it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGeMZ3t8jn4

1.20

spiderman1885

Classics out on the road, where you were only allowed score 'amazing' goals - usually with no keeper!

World cup was brilliant. Usually 2/3 games a day, the best ones were always teams. Doing ghost numbers to get your team mate, and praying you didn't get the dud! And if you did, the sense of achievement of beating everyone else with the dud was the best!(It's likely if you didnt know who the dud was, it was you!)

Sweat! Basically on the volley with whoever was in goals for the 10th goal getting the ball blasted at their back by about 10 lads. The highlight being the ridiculously harsh rule of even a hint of handball and you were in, keeper would just chase people and try and throw the ball at them. Also, making the 10th goal a header was so exciting, everyone crowding around the keeper and one of the lads scooping the ball up for someone to nod in on the line!

I dunno if this happened other people, but the girls our age would come down and sit near us when we played football, but they always sat behind the goal, resulting in one of them being smashed in the face every day, good times!

fasttalkerchat

spiderman1885 wrote: »

I dunno if this happened other people, but the girls our age would come down and sit near us when we played football, but they always sat behind the goal, resulting in one of them being smashed in the face every day, good times!

I got ridiculiously good at flicking the ball in the air and could hit someone on the top of the head and have my hands in my pockets looking the other way by the time it landed

johnmcdnl

Arguing about whether a shot went over the invisible cross bar :pac:

Generally came down to whether the goalie could reach up for it - if he jumped the cross bar off course went up an extra couple of inches so being a clever goalie meant you jumped with a tiny wee hop instead of a huge jump so you could argue that you did jump and it still went over you so it couldn't have been in the top corner :pac:

A free penalty usually settled it in the end - and when that was kinda high another free penalty

gammygils

Mars Bar wrote: »

In Tuam? Which national school in Tuam has a soccer pitch?

It was a country school outside Tuam

FionnK86

Me and my brother used to play against my neighbour and his older brother:Dbut the elder lad was like 10 years older than us so we were afraid to tackle him and he'd score everytime. In fact if you werent on Ciaran's team you'd always lose:(

Running back across the road for a pint of milk,skipping dinner and planning until it was pitch black:cool:

There was a hedge in their garden where if the ball went into youd get it and throw it back over and while you crawled out the other team would score around 20 goals:rolleyes:

Not to mention the sly goal added when everyone forgot the score:eek:

wp_rathead

FionnK86 wrote: »

Not to mention the sly goal added when everyone forgot the score:eek:

This +1

you'd be keeping track, you'd be winning like 9 goals to 6, and someone would ask score and guy on other team "Ye winning by 1"
shlyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
good times though

ap1986

FionnK86 wrote: »

Me and my brother used to play against my neighbour and his older brother:Dbut the elder lad was like 10 years older than us so we were afraid to tackle him and he'd score everytime. In fact if you werent on Ciaran's team you'd always lose:(

Running back across the road for a pint of milk,skipping dinner and planning until it was pitch black:cool:

There was a hedge in their garden where if the ball went into youd get it and throw it back over and while you crawled out the other team would score around 20 goals:rolleyes:

Not to mention the sly goal added when everyone forgot the score:eek:

oh the slyness!!!!!

fasttalkerchat

Wish you could show the image here... everyone will know this...


http://www.theladbible.com/sites/default/files/styles/full_photo/public/528753_4077919339343_1016767218_n_2.jpg

FionnK86

The match only ended when George the caretaker got the ladder to get the ball of the roof.

MagicSean

blatherskite wrote: »

I used to try that aswel! And I've never even managed to slightly do it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGeMZ3t8jn4

1.20

That's pretty much the only kind of goal I scored. Even managed it on the astro turf. I coulda been a contender.

HowAreWe

someones about to take a penalty...run up from behind him and just punt it and run off with your hands waving and shoutin'.

jesus they'd get bad when I did that. :pac:

jebuz

giving Liam such a slagging when he brandished a fictional yellow card that he stormed home and said he was telling his ma.

Naturally, we naturally panicked at the thought of being in trouble with someone else's mam so did the obvious thing, we went upstairs and designed a sorry card on Microsoft Publisher, printed it out, got on our bikes and personally delivered it to his house. That was probably the closest I've been to getting in trouble with someone elses mam in 29 years (and it was only last summer).

G.K.

In some kid's tournament, conceeding a penalty for failing to do a drop-kick too many times (Though I made up for it by saving the penalty with 1 finger).

Getting stuck in the goalnet.

Footballs for posts, never putting them back in the same place after they'd been hit by the ball and rolled off.

The 'Rebound' rule, where if the ball hit the post the keeper had to throw it back into play backwards over his head and only the attacking team were allowed to touch it for a period of time.

Wembley (Never heard it called World Cup in the posh suburbs of Buckinghamshire).

Being picked last because as a 'nerd' I was obviously not any good at football and running the show from centre-midfield.

Ridiculous sliding tackles (Usually performed by me)

SeaFields

G.K. wrote: »

Footballs for posts, never putting them back in the same place after they'd been hit by the ball and rolled off.

Ye had more than one football ?! :eek::p

Local-womanizer

We had a game that we put the ball in the middle of the garden, and a person in each corner and you get the word go the first person to come away with the ball, id like to say won, but whoever got the ball just got kicked until they lost it. No fouls.

Our fly goalies where allowed out but not allowed handle it, and sometimes they weren't allowed to shoot, just pass.

We also called them big toes, as in he big toed it into the net. Not banned but frowned upon.

And moochers were those who waited for the ball in the oppositions box.

How we didn't get injured in those days is beyond me, it was like the film Gladiator at times in our garden

Oh and last one, picking up dog poo before a game. You don't see the man city team walking the pitch with spades before kick off looking for poo!

GetInTheHole!

Destroying every almost every pair of jeans I owned up until I was about 14 - with grass stains..

ap1986

GetInTheHole! wrote: »

Destroying every almost every pair of jeans I owned up until I was about 14 - with grass stains..

and your ma givin out all the time about havin to wash them 10 times to get the stains out

upandcumming

G.K. wrote: »

In some kid's tournament, conceeding a penalty for failing to do a drop-kick too many times (Though I made up for it by saving the penalty with 1 finger).

Getting stuck in the goalnet.

Footballs for posts, never putting them back in the same place after they'd been hit by the ball and rolled off.

The 'Rebound' rule, where if the ball hit the post the keeper had to throw it back into play backwards over his head and only the attacking team were allowed to touch it for a period of time.

Wembley (Never heard it called World Cup in the posh suburbs of Buckinghamshire).

Being picked last because as a 'nerd' I was obviously not any good at football and running the show from centre-midfield.

Ridiculous sliding tackles (Usually performed by me)

And I scored all the goals, and I saved all the shots, and I took all the free kicks, and I performed all the fouls...

JohnMarston

Some fella who had no business being a goalie moving the jumpers closer together, then me still gettin the ball past him

:mad: His face

:pac: My face

turtleshead

Taking a penalty and someone shouting no rebounders. It actually happened in a real match situation when I was paying under 13's, everyone stopped and stared at the ball until one guy just came up and smashed it in.

Jonah42

"Last one to touch the post is in nets".

JohnMarston

Jonah42 wrote: »

"Last one to touch the post is in nets".

Every time a goal was scored in our net the goalie changed. If no goals were scored, the goalie switched at half time

GLaDOS

'Penos all round' was a common one playing world cup.

I used to always play in goal, on the concrete street My knees and elbows still bear the marks to this day.

Joeface

definitely remember playing Wembley ... for us that was all against each other and if you scored you were into the next round . and keep going each round till only 2 were left in the final .
World Cup was teams. 2 teams playing into one goal . Losing team had to supply the goalie for the next round. Some how this all seems unfair now.


Also remember been chased from the GAA pitch for playing soccer(and been told I would be dropped from Hurling team if it happened again and Been chased from the Hockey pitch for play soccer . Never went to the soccer pitch cause it was ****e and too far away.

And the mean ways of picking a goalie ... slowest goes in goals. what harm most were more skilled that the rest playing.And if ye lost ...kicking the crap out of the goalie cause it was his fault every feckin time.
summers were definitely better back then I remember playing till 12 most days and getting murdered when I got home

Robbo

I remember when "****ball" was called whenever a football had met with some dog****e in the playground. The ball was fired around until some poor bastard who wasn't paying attention got it in the school jumper.

On rainy lunchtimes, a rolled up piece of tinfoil made an excellent ball for an indoor game.

IvySlayer

I have asthma....so that's my excuse for hatching :P

Cold Sunday mornings, getting whacked on the ear by a Champions Cup football....most painful thing ever

damagegt

le la rat wrote: »

Bulltoe

I always knew these as big toe Barneys.

Local-womanizer

IvySlayer wrote: »

Cold Sunday mornings, getting whacked on the ear by a Champions Cup football....most painful thing ever

This is a right of passage in Ireland. I haven't met a person yet who hasn't got hit with a ball on a cold day on the side of the head. It's the one thing everyone can relate too. I plan to kick a ball at any of my future children at the earliest opportunity!

LaminatorSGL

Er, where's '3 and in'? That would be our game of choice usually. Though you'd always have that one guy who'd score 2 and do nothing so he wouldn't be in.

Just changed it then so that whoever won got to pick who was in goal.

pappyodaniel

Remember those soccer balls that had the outer layer as a basketball? If someone curled in a cross and you were stupid enough to go up and head it, you'd be SCALPED!!!

LaminatorSGL

pappyodaniel wrote: »

Remember those soccer balls that had the outer layer as a basketball? If someone curled in a cross and you were stupid enough to go up and head it, you'd be SCALPED!!!

Ah, tarmac balls. Always just shied away from them and used the worn ball with the feroicious amount of leather hanging off it if ya had to play on the grey stuff.

Robbo

pappyodaniel wrote: »

Remember those soccer balls that had the outer layer as a basketball? If someone curled in a cross and you were stupid enough to go up and head it, you'd be SCALPED!!!

I remember being stuck for a ball and we decided that a basketball was close enough. This went grand until I was put in goals and someone bogtoed the ball and I caught it with my nose. Several pints of blood later...

Vito Corleone

We played "violent football" in our primary school some days which was basically football but with the addition of violence. The teachers eventually banned it.

damagegt

good old pole ball were you had to hit the pole each time. It was all grand until some how the ball would end up 200m down the road in a drain.But there was always the one time you would manage to pull it off.

King for a day.

PhlegmyMoses

I used to always be Beppe Signori because of his cultured left foot and his ridiculously short run ups for penalties.

I remember not having runners because in the space of a week I shredded one pair of Nikes and a pair of LA Gear playing ball and climbing trees. I obviously couldn't wait until my Dad got in with new runners, and my mam wasn't risking my pair of runners that I always wore to school, so that evening I decided to put on my football boots and play with the lads. The problem was that tit was winter and it was a game of roadball. I had to be stick goalie and stand on the grass verge where we'd made our goalposts from a tree and a jumper. Not being able to narrow the angles, I was obviously public enemy number one with my team.

Hazys

In 2nd year of secondary school we used to play soccer in the yard with a football but nearly everyday our ball would rollover into the 6th year section of yard...then some 6th year would pick it up and to the chanting of the other 6th years "Banish It! Banish It! Banish It!", he would proceed to belt it over the scholl fence onto the road and down the road never to seen again.

Every so often a very brave 2nd year would try to cross over into the 6th year section of the yard to try and retrieve it, but he usually got belted with milk cartons or got a hiding.

So we complained to the teachers that the 6th years kept kicking our ball over the fence, the teachers solution was to ban footballs or any other balls in the yard at lunch time :mad:

So that resulted in us filling up a coke or cidona bottle half full of water and kicking that about. I still remember the cuts you would get on your legs if some lad belted it full force and you got hit on the shins...eventually that got banned cos some lad belted it and it hit another lad in the face and he got a black eye.

So for the rest of my years in secondary school, lunch time was just walking around the yard for an hour...

SuperInfinity

Hazys wrote: »

So for the rest of my years in secondary school, lunch time was just walking around the yard for an hour...

That's the way it was for us from the start. It wasn't so bad for a while, but after the first year... my god, just going into a yard and standing around doing nothing.

The highlight of the day during those years would be when someone kicked an open coca cola bottle full of water (standing upright, like kicking a rugby ball), into a crowd of students and watching the results. :rolleyes:

Wacker The Attacker

playing straight after your dinner and getting a bad stitch in your side or you ending up bursting for a shyte

caste_in_exile

Got asked was I some guys shadow, told him I'm no stalker just a terrific manmarker