What is your current life struggle?

Donkey Oaty

--LOS-- wrote: »

not sleeping

That's a biggie. Tackle that, and the other issues will definitely be easier to deal with.

pow wow

Both my parents have the same type of rare cancer - one is in remission, the other has just been diagnosed. I would laugh at the irony of it if it weren't so serious! Puts all my work/social/life worries in perspective though.

--LOS--

Donkey Oaty wrote: »

That's a biggie. Tackle that, and the other issues will definitely be easier to deal with.

working on it


I can also confirm that your eye does not pop out if you sneeze with your eye open!

pow wow

pow wow wrote: »

Both my parents have the same type of rare cancer - one is in remission, the other has just been diagnosed. I would laugh at the irony of it if it weren't so serious! Puts all my work/social/life worries in perspective though.

That's some burden there.

Best of luck with it all. Hope you manage ok with it.

princess-lala

I just want the pains to go away so I can leave hospital and go home and get back to work.

3 months of pains and got my diagnosis, now they dunno how to fix me enough to allow me home.

Jesus I just want my life back!!

thegreatgonzo

--LOS-- wrote: »

ye hopefully it'll be over in a few weeks like most people, one doctor was making it sound like it might never go which was making me feel sorry for myself but I think it's just one of those things where there's a lot of conflicting ideas on causes and treatments, I'm pretty confident myself it'll sort itself out soon. Thank you!

I knew someone who had it too, she was terrified but made a complete recovery after a short while:)

misspumpqueen

My ex is constantly trying to emotionally manipulate me. I'm uber proud of myself that I can see past his bullsiht!

Neyite

lily09 wrote: »

My current life struggle is that i have my first apt with the pregnancy loss clinic this week after 3 miscarraiges in 8 months. Each one has slowly broken me down but I believe things will get better.

Best of luck on your appointment. Mine is next month, and I really hope that there are answers, and also hopefully drugs that will get me duffed and keep me duffed.

My other life struggle is work related. Hopefully I can resolve that one too.

seenitall

thegreatgonzo wrote: »

I knew someone who had it too, she was terrified but made a complete recovery after a short while:)

I had it when I was in college as well, one side of face turned to stone kinda. No blinking on one eye either. A bit scary.

Got prescribed B vitamin daily, AFAIR. The thing went within a couple of weeks.

Hulk Hands

c_man wrote: »

I feel pretty lonely most of the time tbh.

You know your GAA iirc? Would you consider getting involved with training a team in the local club? They're always on the lookout for more trainers

The One Doctor

No life struggles right now. Is struggling to have a life struggle a life struggle?

Pawn

mike_ie wrote: »

What about you? Air your life's struggle.

Life is my struggle.

anncoates

Trying to be a right on caring parent and not throw my eldest son head - first from an upstairs window.

therealme

Struggling business, 2 more years repayments on business loan, single, orphaned & facing cardboard city.

Working 60 hours at least per week & not taking a wage.I'm tired, so tired of it all. Close to breaking point.

therealme

therealme wrote: »

Struggling business, 2 more years repayments on business loan, single, orphaned & facing cardboard city.

Working 60 hours at least per week & not taking a wage.I'm tired, so tired of it all. Close to breaking point.

Don't wait until you're broken, garner all the support you can now. I hope it gets better for you.

therealme

Candie wrote: »

Don't wait until you're broken, garner all the support you can now. I hope it gets better for you.

Thanks Candie.I have tried but everybody has their own problems & things to deal with. I really hope so too, this is not how I thought life would be.

I have to say this thread really gives me perspective on my petty issues. So many people are struggling with real life-changing and even life-threatening stuff.

I've a lot of respect for how people are managing and coming through so many difficult situations here.

Butterface

My only struggle at the moment is college-related (finishing thesis), and while it can be frustrating, I don't feel stressed out about it.

Reading the struggles of others here tonight really does put those minor things into perspective. I wish all the best for those undergoing stressful situations at the moment!

Savage Tyrant

I despise my job, but as I have no prospect of another one, I am stuck in it...
I struggle massively with my mood (depression) and cant control my anger. I despise myself as a person.
I have 7 kids, 4 of my own and 3 step kids, and i know im a bad role model for them.
I wish i was someone else.... I feel like I'm living someone else's life...

lufties

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

I despise my job, but as I have no prospect of another one, I am stuck in it...
I struggle massively with my mood (depression) and cant control my anger. I despise myself as a person.
I have 7 kids, 4 of my own and 3 step kids, and i know im a bad role model for them.
I wish i was someone else.... I feel like I'm living someone else's life...

Don't be too hard on yourself. A relative of mine recently took his own life, a perfect role model he was, everthing he did was to perfection, and was considered a rock in people's lives. Now he's gone, leaving behind a young family.

Nobody is perfect, and blaming yourself doesn't help.

Adlem

Have a few. Making friends is getting harder. As I get older the less I have. Trying to get the bills paid. There's always some kind of set back. Being a good Mum. I have no patience and struggle to keep it with my toddler. It kills me I snap at her so much. I'm working hard on that one!

RayM

General anxiety, excessive shyness and mild depression. They're not just 'current' life struggles - they've been there a very long time. I can't remember a time when I wasn't an anxious, socially awkward miserablist, so I'm kind of used to it. It's not intolerable - things could be a whole lot worse.

ringadingding

It seems trivial compared to most here, I keep having final destination type visions of bad stuff happening to my kids.

I'm awake writing this now, as 2 hours ago just as I was drifting off to sleep I had a mini dream of them getting hurt.

It's every fecking night.

A cyber hug to all those with issues, sometimes the internet is a decent place to unload a bit, even if it's lighthearted.

Double hug to itchy arše guy

whitewave

whitewave wrote: »

Final year (hopefully) of my PhD....it's slowly destroying my soul

I'm sure your current situation is really stressful.....but if it makes you feel better, I'm really envious of people like you who are clearly demonstrably smart enough to get a PhD in the first place.
I only have a 2.2 degree (undertaken during an extremely difficult period of my life where I missed so many lectures due to personal difficulties) and, if my MSc passes, a merit Masters degree (I was able to do ok in my written exams; otherwise, there's no way I'd have managed a merit!)

Before I went to university I assumed academia was where I was destined; I got 8 A grades (all HL) in my JC and 570 points in my LC.......then the BSc years hit, along with depression and a sense of not feeling alive at all, and my academic record took a huge hit. So even if your PhD has been stressful, and you've occasionally had doubts about it, I hope you at least feel good about yourself that you were deemed smart enough to be accepted for a PhD and clearly competent enough to make it to your final year.

I'd love to be in your position to be honest.....I'm not trying to undermine your experience, because I'm sure your life is quite stressful at the moment.......but I would take any amount of stress in exchange for being somebody deemed worthy of doing a PhD, rather than being in my current position of being an also-ran who'll never achieve anything great. :(

whitewave

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm sure your current situation is really stressful.....but if it makes you feel better, I'm really envious of people like you who are clearly demonstrably smart enough to get a PhD in the first place.
I only have a 2.2 degree (undertaken during an extremely difficult period of my life where I missed so many lectures due to personal difficulties) and, if my MSc passes, a merit Masters degree (I was able to do ok in my written exams; otherwise, there's no way I'd have managed a merit!)

Before I went to university I assumed academia was where I was destined; I got 8 A grades (all HL) in my JC and 570 points in my LC.......then the BSc years hit, along with depression and a sense of not feeling alive at all, and my academic record took a huge hit. So even if your PhD has been stressful, and you've occasionally had doubts about it, I hope you at least feel good about yourself that you were deemed smart enough to be accepted for a PhD and clearly competent enough to make it to your final year.

I'd love to be in your position to be honest.....I'm not trying to undermine your experience, because I'm sure your life is quite stressful at the moment.......but I would take any amount of stress in exchange for being somebody deemed worthy of doing a PhD, rather than being in my current position of being an also-ran who'll never achieve anything great. :(

I completely understand what you're saying, and from the sounds of it, you are more than worthy and intelligent enough to do a PhD. If it's really what you want to do, don't give up. The funding/acceptance process is quite unfair in Ireland at times, but if you can find a good supervisor, they'll see your potential and understand how well you did despite difficult circumstances, and hopefully get you through that process. Best of luck with it!

Jinonatron

Jetlag. I travel between China and Germany every month. 3 weeks there 3 weeks here. 1 week here 1 week there. Doing this for a year and a half now. Sometimes I am so tired I feel like I am high. My Jetlag even has jetlag. Landed in Beijing yesterday. Expecting the JEtlag to kick in next week.

anncoates

A intolerably smelly bastard beside me on the Luas who clearly also has some kind of skin condition as he was periodcially lifting his leg up about two feet away from my face and scratching an extremely dirty and flaky shin.

Penny Tration

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

I despise my job, but as I have no prospect of another one, I am stuck in it...
I struggle massively with my mood (depression) and cant control my anger. I despise myself as a person.
I have 7 kids, 4 of my own and 3 step kids, and i know im a bad role model for them.
I wish i was someone else.... I feel like I'm living someone else's life...

The fact that you hate your job so much, but stick it out, and the fact that you recognise your mental health issues and are doing your best to muddle through and think of your kids, makes you a fantastic role model. It's showing grit and determination for the sake of your family.

turnikett1

3 things I'm trying to cope with. The first is working at an awful minimum wage job in order to try and save money to go back to university (failed, now gotta pay for the repeats). I've been working here for 6 months and haven't managed to save a penny. Between paying off debts, being temporarily let go (which means I had to put some money aside to pay for 2 months rent and bills), trying to be sound to my partner and friends (I've been a mooch most my life), treating myself to the occassional nice thing AND the fact that this country is a bloody rip off it doesn't look like I'm going to be able to save ANY money. I am dying to resume in September though. I can't stand the thought of having to work in either the same or another minimum wage entry level shít job for another year in a bit, and that's assuming I would manage to save up! A lot of my friends have finished university, started their dream careers or gone off traveling etc and my OH is almost finished her degree but I fear I'm going to be left behind.

Secondly, I don't feel like a very good lover in bed. Ideally, in my opinion, we'd have sex a good deal more often (could just be cos I'm a guy though) and when we do it would be everything and more she'd want but I don't think I always do the job as good as she'd like and it leaves my self-confidence in bed fairly damaged. We've had discussions and rows about it before and I know what I need to do to make it the best but I just feel like a bit of a sap and honestly sometimes just flat out avoid out of fear of making a fool of myself.

Lastly, I drive myself insane thinking about life and death and the universe and existence and so on. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to but it can still depress me and make me quite anxious every now and then.

I know these aren't as bad as some people's problems and can all be solved but it's just a matter of actually doing it which as you all know can be much easier said than done...

mojesius

In a very stressful job that I hate. Lacking in self confidence and I seem to have lost my identity. Suffering with bad anxiety. Unsure if my relationship is sustainable or healthy or if it's the best thing that has ever happened to me. My dog died last week. Someone close to me is suffering from depression and I'm worried about them.

I really hope something will let up.

Canis Lupus

Ann Landers wrote: »

Losing weight. Tis hard, tis very hard. Yeah, yeah, I know, eat less, move more. But you need to go through sustained periods of hunger and it is a long, looooong process where for most of it, you'll still look overweight even if you're consistently losing. Fun times!

I'm getting there, though.

Oh, and exams that I am really struggling to find the motivation to study for.

To be fair, if you're hungry, you're doing it wrong. It's all about eating little a lot. Exercise just shapes what you're left with.

enda1

Mine is a positive struggle - it's difficult and expensive but I enjoy it.
It involves purchasing and renovating a 18th/17th century property, lost in South rural France.

Flying there tonight in fact to continue down the path less travelled.

take everything

Ficheall wrote: »

I spent almost five years worrying about my viva at the end, because there were so many questions they could have asked that could have easily tripped me and ended up costing me everything I'd worked for. Then viva day came and I was giddy with excitement - one way or the other I was finished working on the PhD and worrying about it. I gave the best presentation I've ever given, the question session afterwards was just like a chat and they didn't ask me any difficult questions, and then I was free*!!!

So don't stress about it - you've the hardest part of the work done, and it looks really bad on them if you fail, so everyone will do their utmost not to let that happen. Be grand!



*I've since started a postdoc which I'm not enjoying at all, and don't have the balls to quit, but that's another story...

This sentiment (one not unfamiliar to myself) always reminds me of the scene in fight club with the two lads talking about how they go to college, look to their parents for approval for finishing college, then get a job, again looking for approval from whatever authority figure there is etc etc ad infinitum.
Always resonated with me. With them seeing every step as thankless with no real release.

beks101

Inner battle about my choice of career and all the ridiculous hours, terms and conditions and sacrifices that come with it.

Money woes. Never quite enough; no security as I work as a freelancer; bills bills bills

Food and eating the right stuff more frequently than stuffing myself with the wrong stuff because I've had a sh1t day. Will always internally be a five year old child who just wants to have crisps and cake for dinner and fcuk the rest of it.

Maintaining a work life balance. It's like walking a tightrope.

mad muffin

Life is my struggle.

WesternZulu

Have no real life struggles at the minute but feel that I should have since I am now into the last 6 or so months of my PhD.

I am probably way too laid back for my own good.

It's only a matter of time before it all catches up on me so all the stuff that I have put on the long finger will come back to bite me on the ass any day now!

fg1406

Money. I can just about cover the cost of living with a tiny amount left over to save (€30!) which I know isn't the worst but it also means that I'll never be able to afford to save for a house deposit and renting is increasingly depressing!

FullblownRose

Rude neighbours. I avoid the park when their children are there because they snigger and stage whisper about one of my children who has special needs. One of them is much worse when he hangs around with his friends. they went to throw something at my car as I drove past the other day. One of them half KILLED my dog to amuse his mates.

Merkin

FullblownRose wrote: »

Rude neighbours. I avoid the park when their children are there because they snigger and stage whisper about one of my children who has special needs. One of them is much worse when he hangs around with his friends. they went to throw something at my car as I drove past the other day. One of them half KILLED my dog to amuse his mates.

That's an absolute thundering disgrace, your poor child. It's the little gurriers like these who have been shown no discipline whatsoever that will evolve into hardened criminals. Grrrrr.

LorMal

readyletsgo wrote: »

Looking after a very difficult alzheimer's father for the past 3 years. I love him to bits of course, but my life has stopped, to look after him. Pisses me off no end, but I'm his son and thats what son's do, isn't it? Thank god my brother lives close by.

What I would give to have exams coming up

What a kind son you are. I hope you are managing to cope. My deepest respect and admiration for you.

LorMal

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

All I see is excuses. Can't can't can't can't can't.

Dont be mean. Life is very tough in those circumstances.
Feel free to be all heroic and indestructable about your own life -dont be judging others

eviltwin

Paying my mortgage, our bank is taking us to court to take the house but I hope it won't come to that. But trying to look on the bright side, we are all well and healthy and things could be worse.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd love to be in your position to be honest.....I'm not trying to undermine your experience, because I'm sure your life is quite stressful at the moment.......but I would take any amount of stress in exchange for being somebody deemed worthy of doing a PhD, rather than being in my current position of being an also-ran who'll never achieve anything great. :(

You're never an also-ran until you're in the grave. You obviously have the potential and I echo Whitewaters advice above. What you've described isn't failure, it's just life getting in the way.

I'm in a world of stress over it at the moment, but I'm very grateful I had the opportunity to get this far and thats what makes it all worthwhile.

LorMal

lufties wrote: »

Don't be too hard on yourself. A relative of mine recently took his own life, a perfect role model he was, everthing he did was to perfection, and was considered a rock in people's lives. Now he's gone, leaving behind a young family.

Nobody is perfect, and blaming yourself doesn't help.

Great post Lufties.
None of us is perfect. Threads like this make me realise just how vunerable we all are.
Love is all tht matters - 7 kids has to bring a lot of love..

FullblownRose

eviltwin wrote: »

Paying my mortgage, our bank is taking us to court to take the house but I hope it won't come to that. But trying to look on the bright side, we are all well and healthy and things could be worse.

Are your bank communicating with you and helping you to reach a workable payment solution? I know a couple of people who had the court date and everything but it didn't come to that in the end so things might work out ok for you x

eviltwin

FullblownRose wrote: »

Are your bank communicating with you and helping you to reach a workable payment solution? I know a couple of people who had the court date and everything but it didn't come to that in the end so things might work out ok for you x

They won't talk to us anymore, its all solicitors now and their lot are ignoring our lot so its probably not going to get anywhere until its before a judge. I used to be terrified of this kind of thing but now that the wheels are in motion I find I am very calm. Its my home and I love it but its only a house, its not the be all and end all and as bad as it is life could be worse. Whatever happens I have my kids and my husband, we have our health and that is all that matters.

Graces7

coping, and i live alone,with a broken wrist and the myriad challenges each day..the worst is the packaging of food. ingenuity; had to buy ring pull tins. ... hold them on the floor between my feet...cannot tend my nails...never take for granted the small things of life
getting pain pills dout of bubble packs..


interestingly my left handed writing is better than my right...

eviltwin

eviltwin wrote: »

They won't talk to us anymore, its all solicitors now and their lot are ignoring our lot so its probably not going to get anywhere until its before a judge. I used to be terrified of this kind of thing but now that the wheels are in motion I find I am very calm. Its my home and I love it but its only a house, its not the be all and end all and as bad as it is life could be worse. Whatever happens I have my kids and my husband, we have our health and that is all that matters.

I really hope it's resolved without you losing your home Eviltwin. Try keep that zen vibe, at the end of the day it's bricks and mortar.

Graces7

fg1406 wrote: »

Money. I can just about cover the cost of living with a tiny amount left over to save (€30!) which I know isn't the worst but it also means that I'll never be able to afford to save for a house deposit and renting is increasingly depressing!

,
i mostly prefer renting.
sold my house,thankfully just before the crash, as the maintenance etc was crippling me.
after many issues i now have a great landlord. took me several moves and that was depressing, but even then not as bad as repairs etc.

Graces7

FullblownRose wrote: »

Rude neighbours. I avoid the park when their children are there because they snigger and stage whisper about one of my children who has special needs. One of them is much worse when he hangs around with his friends. they went to throw something at my car as I drove past the other day. One of them half KILLED my dog to amuse his mates.

words fail. only fly in the ointment here is the owner of nearby land. nasty bully who hates my living here as he cannot now get away with abusing his animals and polluting my water supply and the rivers.

even living in a field it is other folk who give us grief.