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The cost of childcare vs doing it yourself?

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    #92
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    SameDiff wrote: »
    If there's one thing worse than parents chucking their kids into a creche, it's ones who chuck them to the grandparents, virtually free of charge , emotionally blackmailing them to bring up very young children while in their retirement years.

    Eh who said she was in her retirement years? She was in her 50's and very glad of the extra money. You really don't know my mother in law at all, she is a very strong woman and there is more chance of hell freezing over than of her ever being "emotionally blackmailed" into anything.

    But at least we've found the one thing worse than creches right :D


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    #93
    SameDiff
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 145 ✭✭SameDiff


    pwurple wrote: »
    I'd hedge a bet the eejit on my ignore list doesn't look even after his own children... but has his spouse doing it for slave wages.

    Name calling, with presumptions now. WOW.


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    #94
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    SameDiff wrote: »
    Personally I wouldn't take counsel from a two year old. I wouldn't use their opinion as a basis for my decisions as a father. If I did, they would not go to bed until 11pm and eat biscuits as their main meal.

    But hey, glad he's enjoying it (I wonder if he wasn't, would it make any difference?).

    It was his ECCE year, he was 4. You don't know very much about these things for a father do you? Is that not really your area of expertise? Its like anything, at 4 a child who is upset, scared, being mistreated will be well able to tell you. The fact he couldn't wait to get out the door says a lot.


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    #95
    SameDiff
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 145 ✭✭SameDiff


    eviltwin wrote: »
    It was his ECCE year, he was 4. You don't know very much about these things for a father do you? Is that not really your area of expertise? Its like anything, at 4 a child who is upset, scared, being mistreated will be well able to tell you. The fact he couldn't wait to get out the door says a lot.

    Yet more personal insults. My point still stands. I would not base my decisions on whether my 4 year old child likes it. Children are remakably fickle you know, I can tell mine off, ten seconds later they love me again.

    I would not sensibly judge their reactions to creche workers as a reason for sending them there for 8 hours a day. My children's faces light up when they here "Organ Donor" by DJ Shadow. It's not a good yardstick to measure their wellbeing.


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    #96
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    SameDiff wrote: »
    Yet more personal insults. My point still stands. I would not base my decisions on whether my 4 year old child likes it. Children are remakably fickle you know, I can tell mine off, ten seconds later they love me again.

    I would not sensibly judge their reactions to creche workers as a reason for sending them there for 8 hours a day. My children's faces light up when they here "Organ Donor" by DJ Shadow. It's not a good yardstick to measure their wellbeing.

    Again you're showing your lack of knowledge...the ECCE year is just 3 hours a day, not 8. I don't make my decisions on the basis of what my kids like either but you can tell a lot from the way a child acts. An unhappy child will not be excited to go to playschool. Its not rocket science.


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    #97
    mitresize5
    Registered Users Posts: 1,001 ✭✭✭mitresize5


    Stop feeding the troll!!!


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    #98
    SameDiff
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 145 ✭✭SameDiff


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Again you're showing your lack of knowledge...the ECCE year is just 3 hours a day, not 8. I don't make my decisions on the basis of what my kids like either but you can tell a lot from the way a child acts. An unhappy child will not be excited to go to playschool. Its not rocket science.

    Completely sorry, you are correct I did not realise it was 3 hours a day. Seems reasonable. My children live free from any of these set boundaries and I would suspect 3 hours a day with other kids would be their natural limit.

    Pat on the back for Government, they've got that right.

    You come across as a good parent with no excuses. I know how hard that is and I salute you for it.


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    #99
    SameDiff
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 145 ✭✭SameDiff


    mitresize5 wrote: »
    Stop feeding the troll!!!

    reported - ignore


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    #100
    SameDiff
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 145 ✭✭SameDiff


    hskhfkadhfkad wrote: »
    I am a Primary School teacher who worked in a crèche during college. I am now a mother and I can honestly say no money in the world would pay me to put my child in a crèche.

    All those who currently have children in creches are doing themselves and their children a disservice by dismissing this post.


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    #101
    ThisRegard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,833 ✭✭✭✭ThisRegard


    SameDiff wrote: »
    Yes, you are doing your child a disservice. Do you realise how many couples there are that cannot have children, who would not do what you did?

    This is getting hysterical now.

    And you managed to invoke Godwin's Law in a thread about creche's, that's just a fantastic accomplishment.


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    #102
    ThisRegard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,833 ✭✭✭✭ThisRegard


    SameDiff wrote: »
    Name calling, with presumptions now. WOW.

    Isn't that what you've been doing all along?


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    #103
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Some strange posts.

    Here's my take on it.

    The world and its mother (pardon the pun) will tell you what you 'should' do and what your child 'should' do and what you 'should' feel and what you 'should' want once your baby is born.
    But we are all different.

    There are many parents out there who don't need to work to pay the mortgage and bills, but they prefer to. They feel more balanced by not being at home 24/7 with their children. They benefit mentally and financially and their kids benefit too with more patient parents.

    There are parents who do need to work to pay bills and resent that. Maybe through misfortune, or even bad financial planning, they need two salaries to keep their heads above water. Some of these parents feel a lot better about this by believing their child needs to be in childcare for social reasons. So what, if it gets them through the grind.

    There are parents who are at home full time. Some love it. Some really don't but nobody wants to say out loud they're frustrated and bored and sick of being broke and would kill for a job of some sort outside the home.
    Some of these people will bang on and on about how a parent 'should' be at home 27/4, after all it validates their position to lecture and judge others and what they do.

    If a parent is truly happy with the decisions they've made in relation to childcare or staying at home, they don't feel the need to question others' decisions.


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    #104
    SameDiff
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 145 ✭✭SameDiff


    pwurple wrote: »
    I'd hedge a bet the eejit on my ignore list doesn't look even after his own children... but has his spouse doing it for slave wages.

    For someone who is so prominent on this forum, you are very twisted in your opinions.

    My wife of five years does indeed look after our two young children. When we had our first I was a trainee accountant and she earned a lot more than me, but we decided that our baby comes first and we took a hit on finances for two or so years, while my wife brought up our baby boy.

    We rented our house, we bought a 5 year old car and went caravaning for our holidays (brilliant holiday with our little lad in our double bed for warmth!).

    Later that year, as planned my wife was pregnant again with our second, while I qualified as a chartered accountant. Incredibly, we still struggled for money, twisted as this country is, but again we had all we needed. Who needs Lanzarote when you have two mental kiddies. Last thing out babs would have chosen is a four hour flight.

    And now we are planning our third, all on a basic wage of €60k, no benefits, no bullsh*t, no creches.

    My missus is a talented web developer, but will she go back to work? Who gives a sh*t. She's doing a much more important job than that now and I love her for it. Money comes and money goes, but our two babies are babies just once and I have seen every step of the way.

    Lucky me.

    PS - I have just taken a paycut to work 9 days a fortnight. That is my dream come true.


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    #105
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    SameDiff wrote: »
    For someone who is so prominent on this forum, you are very twisted in your opinions.

    My wife of five years does indeed look after our two young children. When we had our first I was a trainee accountant and she earned a lot more than me, but we decided that our baby comes first and we took a hit on finances for two or so years, while my wife brought up our baby boy.

    We rented our house, we bought a 5 year old car and went caravaning for our holidays (brilliant holiday with our little lad in our double bed for warmth!).

    Later that year, as planned my wife was pregnant again with our second, while I qualified as a chartered accountant. Incredibly, we still struggled for money, twisted as this country is, but again we had all we needed. Who needs Lanzarote when you have two mental kiddies. Last thing out babs would have chosen is a four hour flight.

    And now we are planning our third, all on a basic wage of €60k, no benefits, no bullsh*t, no creches.

    My missus is a talented web developer, but will she go back to work? Who gives a sh*t. She's doing a much more important job than that now and I love her for it. Money comes and money goes, but our two babies are babies just once and I have seen every step of the way.

    Lucky me.

    PS - I have just taken a paycut to work 9 days a fortnight. That is my dream come true.

    Its great you were able to work things out in a way that suited you're parenting goals, not everyone could just cut their hours like that even if they wanted to. I support parents doing what they feel is right for them so I'm really glad to see you've made it work but it doesn't make you a better parent than anyone else, just different.


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    #106
    SameDiff
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 145 ✭✭SameDiff


    ThisRegard wrote: »
    This is getting hysterical now.

    And you managed to invoke Godwin's Law in a thread about creche's, that's just a fantastic accomplishment.

    I had to look up "Godwin's Law". Stupidly I though it might have some relevance here. It doesn't.

    There is no apostrophe in 'creches'.


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    #107
    ThisRegard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,833 ✭✭✭✭ThisRegard


    So your last throw of the dice to is try look for misspellings? If you're as smart as you're trying to be, you'll realise I, and you, also didn't spell it correctly given it's not an English word and doing the è was too much hassle to do on mobile. At least I've spelled it correctly on some occasions, have you? That's a freebie for you.

    No surprises there as you can't answer a direct question based on wild claims you made.


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    #108
    SameDiff
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 145 ✭✭SameDiff


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Its great you were able to work things out in a way that suited you're parenting goals, not everyone could just cut their hours like that even if they wanted to. I support parents doing what they feel is right for them so I'm really glad to see you've made it work but it doesn't make you a better parent than anyone else, just different.

    Yes, you are right. I abhor the lazy parents who refuse to do the motherly duties (nappies, bathtime, bedtime) but pass these off as though it is THEM that are missing out.

    They don't bother breastfeeding and blame BAD LUCK as their cop-out reasons why not..."sore nipples, late milk, mastitis, any****ingexcusitis"

    They put baby out of earshot into a far-off bedroom and blame NOISY BABY as a reason to not monitor their baby's sleeping... "we all slept much better"

    It's a never-ending **** pile of excuses for bad parenting.


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    #109
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    SameDiff wrote: »
    Yes, you are right. I abhor the lazy parents who refuse to do the motherly duties (nappies, bathtime, bedtime) but pass these off as though it is THEM that are missing out.

    They don't bother breastfeeding and blame BAD LUCK as their cop-out reasons why not..."sore nipples, late milk, mastitis, any****ingexcusitis"

    They put baby out of earshot into a far-off bedroom and blame NOISY BABY as a reason to not monitor their baby's sleeping... "we all slept much better"

    It's a never-ending **** pile of excuses for bad parenting.

    Women eh? :D


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    #110
    The One Doctor
    Registered Users Posts: 2,339 ✭✭✭The One Doctor


    Ok, I've washed my hands of this thread, I've gotten the opinions I was looking for, you kids go have fun now. Thanks to everyone who gave meaningful advice/opinions.


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    #111
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Hey everyone, The Alpha Parent is here to impart more wisdom!


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    #112
    SameDiff
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 145 ✭✭SameDiff


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Women eh? :D

    Not gender-specific, don't even start on that. Bar breastmilk, daddies are just as good, and they are.


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    #113
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    SameDiff wrote: »
    Yes, you are doing your child a disservice. Do you realise how many couples there are that cannot have children, who would not do what you did?

    Do you realise your child has no say in the matter, but only wants to be with their parents?

    Do you realise that earlier on in this thread, you said that your mother worked all hours and that "you were fine"?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cX8szNPgrEs

    What have other couples who can't have children got to do with what's right for my family? Some couples can only have one child, does that mean I'm more obliged to stay home because I have two? My mother worked and I am fine. Why do you say I'm "fine"? No inverted commas required, I am fine.
    I feel sorry for your wife. I wonder what would happen if she didn't want to stay at home.


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    #114
    SameDiff
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 145 ✭✭SameDiff


    The One Doctor wrote: »
    Ok, I've washed my hands of this thread, I've gotten the opinions I was looking for, you kids go have fun now.

    As expected, "ignorance is bliss". If I can't read it, he must be a maniac.

    Oh to face the questions....what a lesson that might be to our children?

    Me? I shy away from nothing, I am an open book to my wife, my children, anybody


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    #115
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    SameDiff wrote: »
    Not gender-specific, don't even start on that. Bar breastmilk, daddies are just as good, and they are.

    Then maybe you should amend your thread to parental duties rather than motherly ones seeing as we're all equal and everything. Honestly what you describe - not changing nappies, not washing a child - is not just bad parenting, its child abuse. Its not the norm and its gone way off topic as it has nothing at all to do with creches.


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    #116
    SameDiff
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 145 ✭✭SameDiff


    lazygal wrote: »
    What have other couples who can't have children got to do with what's right for my family? Some couples can only have one child, does that mean I'm more obliged to stay home because I have two? My mother worked and I am fine. Why do you say I'm "fine"? No inverted commas required, I am fine.
    I feel sorry for your wife. I wonder what would happen if she didn't want to stay at home.

    I don't believe you are fine, you have littered this forum with basic childcare questions for the last three years. I don't believe you were raised with any idea how to bring up children, hence your unending questions on the topic.

    At least you are breaking the cycle, and I admire you for it, but hey....you are no natural mother. You are so very far removed from that.


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    #117
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    SameDiff wrote: »
    I don't believe you are fine, you have littered this forum with basic childcare questions for the last three years. I don't believe you were raised with any idea how to bring up children, hence your unending questions on the topic.

    At least you are breaking the cycle, and I admire you for it, but hey....you are no natural mother. You are so very far removed from that.

    This is beyond ridiculous now.


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    #118
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,953 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    Temporary closure so we can have a look through all the reported posts.


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    #119
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,953 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    Sleepy wrote: »

    Our solution for it was for Mrs. Sleepy to become a child-minder herself so she minds another little girl whilst also minding our two monsters. As the first 10k of earnings are tax-free for a child-minder who minds in their own home (and doesn't affect the ability to transfer the credits), this is an extremely tax-efficient means of earning a second income whilst also being able to be at home with your own kids.

    That information is wrong.
    It is 15k Tax exempt. You still pay a fixed amount of PRSI and you pay income on all earning if you earn for example 15001


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    #120
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,953 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    SameDiff wrote: »
    Some can't afford it.

    Most can, but don't want to stay at home. Drinking tea, talking bollocks is a lot easier than looking after toddlers.

    Looking after children is the hardest job in the world and some mothers will pay someone else to do it.

    Some like to have their own lives and identity too.
    Woman are now highly educated and fill important rolls in society one of which is being a mother but there are plenty of ,others The chief justice of the supreme court is a woman and nearly all the top legal jobs in Ireland are too.
    Was your wife ever given a choice?


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    #121
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,953 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    mitresize5 wrote: »
    Stop feeding the troll!!!

    report a post please rather then feeding the troll more.


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