Why should a man offer a seat to a woman on train/bus?

El_Duderino 09

SEPT 23 1989 wrote:

of course i will ask a woman if she would like to sit down

Ask anyone or just women?

SEPT 23 1989 wrote:

basic manners

Why?

dissed doc

ScienceNerd wrote: »

I've never been under the impression you were supposed to give up your seat for a (young, healthy, non pregnant) woman on public transport?

You have been missing your Social Justice classes, whereby you learn that all people are equal, except that some people are more equal than others. Your ignorance of this is the privilege of being likely white male and&or Christian.

wakka12

Its honestly never crossed my mind to give up my seat a woman who wasnt old or pregnant or with a young child. But I don't see anything wrong with some gentlemanly chivalry, nothing to be looked down on. I'd think a man who offered his seat to a healthy woman was quite a decent guy. On the other hand if I were a female Id be morto taking somebodys seat just because I'm a female

Figbiscuithead

the_syco wrote: »

But I see it as another piece of bullsh|t. Women want equality, but still seem to want to keep the good things. They want equality in some of the nice jobs, but don't seem to want the crappy jobs. They also get to keep the shorter prison sentences, again due to the assumption that women are weaker, and thus couldn't do as much damage as the man.

Meh. Any attempt by man to change this, they'll get called "women haters", but if women try to expand on their rights, they're called "women helpers". Great fun :P

Eh hold on there one sec with your "women think...women believe" stuff. Only one woman on this thread has expressed her EXPECTATION that this should happen and the rest has been male posters saying they consider it good manners. Most women living in Western society do not expect a man to offer their seat on public transport. In fact, the opinions have been divided between they shouldn't and they wouldn't like it if they did and that they wouldn't expect it but that they wouldn't be offended if it happened i.e. we all have different opinions on this - we're not a hive mind surprise surprise. And nobody has called anyone a "woman hater" and I've never heard "women helpers" as an expression in my life but I have heard men labelling other men "white knights" many a times for standing up for women.

jimgoose

There is no reason whatsoever for a man to give up a seat for a woman unless she is obviously unwell in some way, aged or heavily pregnant.

helimachoptor

Anyone old, unwell, pregnant will get my seat.

I'm not on the bus that often so its rarer these days than it used to be.

Carlos Orange

Figbiscuithead wrote: »

Only one woman on this thread has expressed her EXPECTATION that this should happen

I think saying it isn't expected but you would think better of a man who did it is just a softer type of expectation.

Figbiscuithead

psinno wrote: »

I think saying it isn't expected but you would think better of a man who did it is just a softer type of expectation.

Has anyone said this? That's some twisting of the truth there, Psinno.

jimgoose

psinno wrote: »

I think saying it isn't expected but you would think better of a man who did it is just a softer type of expectation.

Yeah, maybe in 1890.

discus

Samaris wrote: »

I think you sound like you've got a chip on your shoulder the size of a small subcontinent!

Correct, I do! Like a lot of people these days on the turgid issue of gender politics.

ALiasEX

amdublin wrote: »

Also with older children I think it is a good thing to teach civic duty to a child and have them stand and offer an adult a seat.

No

endacl

Buses.

Ash.J.Williams

it's not about equality it's about being sound....open doors ...give up seats and don't be a cnt....

LordSutch

amdublin wrote: »

Why should a man offer a seat to a woman on train/bus?

I don't anymore.

But I did do, for about the first forty years of my life.

Nowadays you get so many negative and and mixed opinions, that (sadly) I just let em stand while I sit, unless of course the woman is heavily pregnant or very old, in which case my natural instinct takes over and I offer my seat. I don't hold doors for women anymore either, nor do I offer to carry that heavy bag, I wouldn't even offer to help if a woman's car had broken down/flat tyre etc (in the modern world) such is the climate that stigmatises men who would offer to help.

That seems to be the way of the world these days.

The Backwards Man

Holding a door open is just basic manners, you could be the man in the moon for all I care.

Figbiscuithead

discus wrote: »

Correct, I do! Like a lot of people these days on the turgid issue of gender politics.

But most of it is a load of ****e imported from the States written by hysterical, frustrated fools on the internet. Why get sucked into stuff so meaningless, Discus? Making generalisations based on our own very limited experience and applying it to whole genders is just plain silly and creates unnecessary divisions so that nothing is actually achieved - applying a bit of rationality and critical thinking wouldn't go astray. You don't like it when women do it, so why do you do the same to them? I'm just as critical of women who go with the "all men are bastards" stick, by the way, or women who try to portray men as hapless gob****es but most of us get along. Let's not buy into all this crap like eejits. Ireland in 2015 is not a bad place for either gender when you get down to it. Yes, there's matters that have to be changed for both genders but that'll only come about by coming together.

Baron Kurtz

Isaiah wrote: »

If I am trying to sit down and there is only 1 seat left on the bus/train, and a woman is also going for it I will step back and let her sit.

I feel that it's more becoming of a man to be strong, capable and assertive when needed but also humble and willing to make sacrifices, however small, to benefit those around them, especially those who are physically smaller or weaker than themselves.

Other men, unless frail or old, should do the same. Small behavioural gestures like this uphold a sense of civic decency and moral standards in our everyday engagements with strangers.

Too much "Me" attitude in men these days, especially the selfie generation.

Good strong biblical username there. You should maybe think about changing it to Jesus with a post like that:)

Sleepy

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

it's not about equality it's about being sound....open doors ...give up seats and don't be a cnt....

Using that logic, unless a woman on public transport gives up her seat to a man who's just got on, she's a ****.

Paramite Pie

I wouldn't give my seat to a woman just because she's a woman. It's patronising old school nonsense and I've never been scolded for it either. I don't like entitlement. The last time i gave up my seat was for a middle aged woman who was struggling to balance when the train came to each stop and was very reluctant (but grateful) to take my seat. That was ages ago.

If I had a kid on a seat beside me I'd likely stand and give up my seat to a stranger -- not my kid's.

LordSutch

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Holding a door open is just basic manners, you could be the man in the moon for all I care.

Well as I said, it used to be basic manners ...
Nowadays you can get some smart remarks from women themselves, if you hold open that door!

JackHeuston

Now this explains a few things. I didn't know some people would do that with any woman.

I was on the Luas with my mom (45yo) who came over from abroad to visit me. Red line, extremely busy, we were standing near the doors when a young man offered my mom his seat. We were both confused, I refused for my mom as she doesn't speak English.

When I explained to her he was offering her his seat, she went on for the whole weekend asking me if she looked 80 years old, if she didn't dye her hair properly and some grey hair was still showing, and if she crossed that line between being considered middle-aged and being a granny.

A real gentlemen of course, I can judge these people only positively, I just won't accept me being expected to do that with people who have no problems at all standing. Of course if anyone asks me for my seat, I'll give it up.

In any case, I'm 25, whenever I enter a busy Luas or train and there are some seats available, I'll leave them to whoever needs them and I simply stand and I'll do it until I can.

The Backwards Man

LordSutch wrote: »

Well as I said, it used to be basic manners ...
Nowadays you can get some smart remarks from women themselves, if you hold open that door!

If what other people think bothers you that much you're as well staying in the house

SAMTALK

LordSutch wrote: »

Well as I said, it used to be basic manners ...

Cant understand why people are confusing equality with manners. When someone holds the door open for me or offers me a seat I dont think "oh they think women are the weaker sex..". I think "how mannerly and polite". I hold doors open as well and it not just for the elderly. I sometimes think bad behaviour comes under the guise of "well ye wanted equality". Then there are times when men are mannerly and get the head taken off them for this. I have to say that I think when a woman behaves like this its awful and I feel such sympathy for the man. I do think at times that we ladies can be our own worst enemies

mckar

I've been heavily pregnant on busses and trains when I had no car for awile and noone gave me a seat but I think people live in a time where everyone is living there own struggle you never know what each person goes through in a daily basis life can be so hard for some people so I never judge or expect much from anyone. That way they is no disappointment with daily things that happen in your life.

JackHeuston

mckar wrote: »

I've been heavily pregnant on busses and trains when I had no car for awile and noone gave me a seat

Well that's sad imho.

LordSutch

The Backwards Man wrote: »

If what other people think bothers you that much you're as well staying in the house

So you say 'feck em' whatever they think!

Well I suppose that's one way of looking at the topic

jimgoose

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Holding a door open is just basic manners, you could be the man in the moon for all I care.

Fully agree. I usually do that regardless of age or gender, and if people wish to take umbrage of some sort my usual reply is "Well actually yes, I thought you were a bit decrepit-lookin', and this oul' door is heavy!"

NachoBusiness

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

of course i will ask a woman if she would like to sit down

basic manners

Do many of them accept it?

I would have thought a woman just accepting a seat and then sitting it in when she is not pregnant, ill nor really old, would feel awkward about what has just happened. If I seen that happening I'd certainly be weirded out by it and feel awkward on both of your behalves. It would almost like witnessing a guy tell a random woman that he'd like to see her boobs. My cringe level would be round about the same for both.

I hold the door open for everyone. Mostly in fact, I have no idea what gender the person I am holding a door open for is as I do it without looking back and if I don't feel someone taking the weight of the door from within 0.7seconds, I let it go. Holding a door open for someone longer than that makes them feel awkward as now they have to hurry up to get to you so they can grab the door. Why do people do this? So annoying, but that's another thread...

As for public transport, seats and such, if you look uncomfortable, old, ill, about to pop, on crutches, looking after and unruly kid etc etc, I'll offer you my seat, but otherwise, no. For me, offering a woman a seat just because she is a woman screams weirdo. If I offered a woman my age a seat and she was none of the above, I would expect her to think I was doing it to impress her. What else could she think? No wonder some women would get paranoid and think maybe they look pregnant.

If you offer me your seat I will assume I look pregnant.

Then you'll be sorry.

Ave Sodalis

SAMTALK wrote:

Cant understand why people are confusing equality with manners. When someone holds the door open for me or offers me a seat I dont think "oh they think women are the weaker sex..". I think "how mannerly and polite". I hold doors open as well and it not just for the elderly. I sometimes think bad behaviour comes under the guise of "well ye wanted equality". Then there are times when men are mannerly and get the head taken off them for this. I have to say that I think when a woman behaves like this its awful and I feel such sympathy for the man. I do think at times that we ladies can be our own worst enemies

But there's a difference between holding a door you are already at for whoever is behind, and giving up your seat just because there's a woman standing.