Modern young fellas

seachto7

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

I was in Nando's today and noticed one young man with headphones on, playing a game on his phone while sitting at a table with two mates, and one young teen with earphones in, zoned out of a family chat at the table. Whatever about people using their phones, surely the earphones is just a step too far?

Nandos is already a step too far

freshpopcorn

Schwanz wrote: »

Some of the young lads giving the girls a good running for the best feminine looking thing in the room.

WTF

I hate when you enter a section of a shop and you struggle to figure out which is the male section.

21Savage

The ankles and jeans far far too small are two of the most cringiest things you will see in Dublin. The ankles in the middle of winter especially. Looks cringeworthy as ****.

DickSwiveller

I think this phone/social media obsession is much more dangerous than people make out. Put aside the self-indulgence and narcissism - the most dangerous consequence is that it is making people illiterate. I have a few friends who teach at a University in Dublin, and they are absolutely shocked by the standard of writing, comprehension etc. One of them - a history lecturer - told me that 80 per cent of his class is functionally illiterate.

Wibbs

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I hate when you enter a section of a shop and you struggle to figure out which is the male section.

People, mostly older people, were saying the exact same thing back in the swinging sixties and into the seventies and the "gender bending" New Romantics got many all a twitter in the eighties(even the punks got it the other way. The women all look like lesbians!!").

I suppose one difference is that today this oldies/previous generation aren't the only ones saying that kinda thing. Plus those fashions were part of a youth counterculture to a large extent, something one could argue we don't have today. There isn't really a youth counterculture today that one can easily point to. "Millenials" is way too vague and lazy and isn't a single group anyway. "Social Justice warriors"? Maybe but it's cross generational and if anything driven by the old fogies of the 70's.

Maybe because the young(and everyone else) have so many avenues of expression that one more singleminded youth culture hasn't come to the fore? Or that the idea of youth counterculture itself is old fashioned? Or it might be as simple as younger people are under more career and financial and social pressure from a younger age that they simply don't have much time for any of that. I suspect the latter is a large part of it.

But yeah "men are dressing like women" has a long history. Acting like women less so, but still there.

silverharp

Wibbs wrote: »

People, mostly older people, were saying the exact same thing back in the swinging sixties and into the seventies and the "gender bending" New Romantics got many all a twitter in the eighties(even the punks got it the other way. The women all look like lesbians!!").

I suppose one difference is that today this oldies/previous generation aren't the only ones saying that kinda thing. Plus those fashions were part of a youth counterculture to a large extent, something one could argue we don't have today. There isn't really a youth counterculture today that one can easily point to. "Millenials" is way too vague and lazy and isn't a single group anyway. "Social Justice warriors"? Maybe but it's cross generational and if anything driven by the old fogies of the 70's.

Maybe because the young(and everyone else) have so many avenues of expression that one more singleminded youth culture hasn't come to the fore? Or that the idea of youth counterculture itself is old fashioned? Or it might be as simple as younger people are under more career and financial and social pressure from a younger age that they simply don't have much time for any of that. I suspect the latter is a large part of it.

But yeah "men are dressing like women" has a long history. Acting like women less so, but still there.

In the mid to late 80's southside "Cure heads" is about as radical as I remember , everyone else was trying to look like Crocket or Tubbs :pac: . "trans trenders" seem to be filling the gender bending gap for this decade although they are more menacing as they expect everyone to take them seriously.

El_Duderino 09

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

I get that. And you're about to blame feminists and media for some of the problems men face. You seem oblivious to the fact that this thread is by men, for men, to have a go at younger men. It's not only feminists who are having a go at men. Men are doing it right now in this thread.

I made the connection between the use of social media and dating. I then suggested that dating had changed and that many men are using online apps instead of traditional dating practices because of the fears they have about that shift. I mentioned feminism a wee bit as being part of the problem.

I didn't seek to derail this thread. You have latched on to my remarks about feminism and chosen to broaden the discussion.

Isn't a focus on male abuse/harassment a natural consequence of the male abuse and harassment that's been coming to light? Should the media pretend there was an equal number of female perpetrators just to balance it out? Or make up a female equivalent to Weinstein.

There's already a thread where you're discussing this. I don't see any point rehashing the same arguments here too.

Fair enough. I can't say I know any lads my own age who have given up dating. I don't even know any lads who talk about chatting with a woman and being accused of harassment. If that's an experience you kept having, then do you think all the NLP and flirting textbooks (the acceptable side of PUA), might be coming across too strong?

Ahh... It's really interesting the attitude that many people have on boards about using any techniques to improve dating. That we must fall neatly into the mainstream PUA scene (which is indeed rather toxic). There are plenty of avenues for using NLP or psychology to improve dating experiences without being an dick.

But in any case, I didn't intend this to become just another men vs feminism argument. Enough. I made the suggestion regarding dating, & social media, and TBH I don't feel like bashing my head with you about it. Back to the actual thread.

El_Duderino 09

Deleted User wrote:

I made the connection between the use of social media and dating. I then suggested that dating had changed and that many men are using online apps instead of traditional dating practices because of the fears they have about that shift. I mentioned feminism a wee bit as being part of the problem.

Yep, you seem to easily see any point where feminists are to blame and easily ignore the fact that you're posting in a men's thread in a men's forum which is about bashing men for doing absolutely nothing wrong.

Deleted User wrote:

There's already a thread where you're discussing this. I don't see any point rehashing the same arguments here too.

Fair enough. There wasn't an answer to the qiestion in that thread either so no point expecting an answer in this thread. My assessment is that there are a lot of coverage of men committing abuses and that makes some men feel uncomfortable. Like they're being judged for the abusers behaviour. I don't hold you accountable for Weinstein and you shouldn't either.

Deleted User wrote:

Ahh... It's really interesting the attitude that many people have on boards about using any techniques to improve dating. That we must fall neatly into the mainstream PUA scene (which is indeed rather toxic). There are plenty of avenues for using NLP or psychology to improve dating experiences without being an dick.

Ah don't be so sensitive, I specifically said NLP is the acceptable side of PUA. Is it not the scientific basis on which PUA was developed? I have no problem with being mindful of your body language etc. But I also know it can seem artificial and creepy if not used sparingly.

Deleted User wrote:

But in any case, I didn't intend this to become just another men vs feminism argument. Enough. I made the suggestion regarding dating, & social media, and TBH I don't feel like bashing my head with you about it. Back to the actual thread.

We're talking at cross purposes. Remember this thread and it's basis the next time you see someone claim that feminism is the main reason men feel bad about themselves. kidchamelion (other thread) went to great lengths to demonstrate there's a 'man hating culture' and it's all feminism's fault. Threads like this must be part of what they're talking about but it wasn't started by feminists and I was one of the ones arguing against bashing men.

givyjoe

xabi wrote: »

That’s no different than a group of kids playing PlayStation together. We did that 20 years ago.

Eh, pretty sure I wasn't (and friends) sitting in silence in the middle of a busy restaurant while doing it. Friends house, loud, lots of normal human interaction. Even with online gaming with friends it wouldn't have been anywhere near sitting there in silence.

frozenfrozen

the purple tin wrote: »

You've both hit the nail on the head. Having a fun night out or good experience is not the most important thing. Giving others the illusion that you've had a great night through social media is what really counts.

There could be an element of "if a tree falls in the woods and nobody is there to hear it, did it make a sound?" but it's not as if people don't enjoy themselves anymore while recording their experience which is portrayed accurately or not. It's not 100% optics comparable to bringing donald trump to load a couple boxes into the back of an aid truck for a 5 second news clip. Snapchats of house parties were still taken at a real house party where the people really attended said party.

I'm 22 and I open up instagram and see pictures of people standing beside defenders lifting a wheel offroading who I know have never driven, people posting fitness pictures who look 20kg heavier in person, etc. People who look like they're having fun in pictures on a night out but they just spend all their time looking for more coke. But the pictures are still real pictures... taken from a favourable angle at the right moment and with heavy editorial influence to keep it all within their personal brand.. but it's a real picture

For the 'influencers' sure most of it is absolutely fake, but everyday people oversharing and being addicted to posting on social media are just showing the highlights and nothing else..

Some posts on this thread read like people who just think everyone else is as miserable as they are when they go out. I don't enjoy clubs and will still smile in a picture, so am I as fake as everyone else? Where is the line drawn?

With people who do obsess over social media and all; really is it any different to me thinking of a funny joke and for me that joke is worthless until I tell it to a group of people and have them break their holes laughing. If you're good looking: are you really good looking at all if you don't put the picture up on instagram and get 500 likes?


Having said all of that I'm not a fan of the culture at all. I went out drinking with friends a good bit over the christmas and a lot of time is spent creating content for social media and all the lads would be very frequently on their phones talking to girls and organising people back to after parties;
Where pubs before closing are like weird small startup companies where everyone works furiously over a couple of pints to plan an event and lay down the groundwork with whatever girls they want to get with, without discussing this at all openly, everyone is just around talking shet interspersed with 'so and so is here or there and they are going to this place at that time' and then when more people arrive to where you are a few more pictures are taken and this will bring even more people there.

Those who spent the week sending them snapchats while working or at the gym etc have the leg up. I don't subscribe to any of that shet and it can be like you are an alien in a group of those girls (that the lads have brought in), they don't know how to deal with you at all because they haven't been given a week to decide whether they like you or not.
That sounds very 'the red pill', I'm not at all that way inclined though. It just means you can be getting on well with a girl until someone they've been snapchatting arrives and to be fair to them that person has already proved to them they get out and do things (fake or not) every day and they might think they wouldn't mind a bit of that lifestyle, maybe merge brands for a while or get a boost by association.

I hope none of that comes across as being at all jealous of their situations, I am so glad to be able to completely opt out of that and still feel happy about myself without constant approval from my peers. If anything I get a small bit of backlash about not being so involved in the cult. A bit of talking down to me or at least them all acting like they're in a more powerful position or something odd like that. Hard to explain that one but it feels like it anyway to a small extent they feel like I just haven't figured out how to join in yet.
Funnily enough I was giving a few girls and a friend a lift back to a house party and I was driving one of my parents cars which is nice enough, all these people knew it didn't belong to me because I explained to them on the way home why I was driving it (and why I was sober at the time). Anyway back at the house party when we got into the house one of the girls was just again thanking me for the lift and a friend there had to butt in and let her know it wasn't my car, lest I be given some sort of fake social boost by being seen driving it! The irony was unreal

irishman86

Dakota Dan wrote: »

Get a good nights sleep you'll feel better in the morning.

Your come backs prove my point. Goodbye sir you are the weakest link

Wibbs

I dunno where you do be looking FU*.







*which looks like I'm saying fcuk you, but not yet anyway.

Doltanian

I think it is great eliminates the weaklings so us alpha males will have less competition in the herd.

irishman86

Doltanian wrote: »

I think it is great eliminates the weaklings so us alpha males will have less competition in the herd.

If you have to say your a alpha male doesnt that mean your not a alpha :pac:

NIMAN

People have always followed fashion.

How the young guys dress now is nothing different.

H3llR4iser

It's the way things are going, and with that I don't meant it's all rosy - people are letting certain kinds of technology rule their lives and they're eager to do so more and more, to the point we are willing to give up parts of our own freedom/will to such devices.

Even if one isn't too taken into the craze, social pressure is immense - I check my phone sparingly, often forgetting it even exists on week ends and rarely post anything on Facebook (I don't have any accounts on other social media) and this results in people getting slightly upset that I didn't see this message on the "group", or haven't "shared" pictures from my holiday.

I know people defend this trend by drawing comparison with people being deep into papers or books on a train and so, but I have a lot of reservations about that - I too get the feeling there are plenty of "functionally illiterate" folks today, who can't comprehend anything that isn't in video/narrated form. I guess we (as mankind) are gonna find out about this in a few decades time.

DickSwiveller

H3llR4iser wrote: »

It's the way things are going, and with that I don't meant it's all rosy - people are letting certain kinds of technology rule their lives and they're eager to do so more and more, to the point we are willing to give up parts of our own freedom/will to such devices.

Even if one isn't too taken into the craze, social pressure is immense - I check my phone sparingly, often forgetting it even exists on week ends and rarely post anything on Facebook (I don't have any accounts on other social media) and this results in people getting slightly upset that I didn't see this message on the "group", or haven't "shared" pictures from my holiday.

I know people defend this trend by drawing comparison with people being deep into papers or books on a train and so, but I have a lot of reservations about that - I too get the feeling there are plenty of "functionally illiterate" folks today, who can't comprehend anything that isn't in video/narrated form. I guess we (as mankind) are gonna find out about this in a few decades time.

Anyone who argues that is an idiot - full stop (Not you. I know you don't say it.) Reading books and papers is beneficial to the individual doing so - they gain knowledge, are kept informed and broaden their understanding of different things. Staring at a screen for hours, whether texting or looking at photos etc is a waste of time, and won't improve you as a person.

Blacktie.

DickSwiveller wrote: »

Anyone who argues that is an idiot - full stop (Not you. I know you don't say it.) Reading books and papers is beneficial to the individual doing so - they gain knowledge, are kept informed and broaden their understanding of different things. Staring at a screen for hours, whether texting or looking at photos etc is a waste of time, and won't improve you as a person.

And what about people staring at screen reading up on dozens of sources of interest? Ah ye waste of time compared to your one biased source of information that is the newspaper.

DickSwiveller

Blacktie. wrote: »

And what about people staring at screen reading up on dozens of sources of interest? Ah ye waste of time compared to your one biased source of information that is the newspaper.

Is that what most people are doing?

Blacktie.

DickSwiveller wrote: »

Is that most people are doing?

Maybe it depends on the demographic. Like boards and reddit are my go to sites when I pull the phone out for a few minutes or whatever. Though I am trying to pull away from it entirely because it does become a time sink.

El_Duderino 09

H3llR4iser wrote: »

I know people defend this trend by drawing comparison with people being deep into papers or books on a train and so, but I have a lot of reservations about that - I too get the feeling there are plenty of "functionally illiterate" folks today, who can't comprehend anything that isn't in video/narrated form. I guess we (as mankind) are gonna find out about this in a few decades time.

It depends what perspective you’re coming from. In my work we communicate through video conferencing every day, CV has its own etiquette and I’d bet most people are ‘functionally illiterate’ the first time they use it. But it becomes normal and it’s a great way to communicate across distance.

So while you’re saying those modern young fellas might be becoming functionally illiterate on some forms of communication, your generation might find themselves functionally illiterate if things continue to change around them and they don’t keep up.

It’s different from how it used to be done and it’s only necessarily bad if different = bad in your view

LostinBlanch

Wibbs wrote: »

I remember a kinda similar if smaller scale argument when the Sony Walkman came out and became popular. This is no way to listen to music! People are walking around like isolated zombies* in their own little world! What's the world coming to! etc. I also heard similar type stuff when gaming really took over, especially when it went web multiplayer.

I didn't, I had my headphones on.

DEFTLEFTHAND

DickSwiveller wrote: »

I think this phone/social media obsession is much more dangerous than people make out. Put aside the self-indulgence and narcissism - the most dangerous consequence is that it is making people illiterate. I have a few friends who teach at a University in Dublin, and they are absolutely shocked by the standard of writing, comprehension etc. One of them - a history lecturer - told me that 80 per cent of his class is functionally illiterate.

I was reading recently that multinationals based here are far from impressed with the standard of the average Irish graduate.

We're in for a rude awakening when Europe gets us to bump up our corporation tax rate.

Iseedeadpixels

I'm starting to see it happen to my group of 30 somethings, last time I was out one of the girls in the group barely got off her phone, I myself will text and snap a bit.....even give boards a lil check :pac: In the end I still had a great night :P

NIMAN

Re: all the guys out there with the huge full beards.

I'm sure they've taken a bit of colour in the sun the last few weeks.

But I was wondering, if they were to shave their beards off now, would they have a big white band around the face?

shakeitoff

Laughable seeing the lads who are keeping the oversized beards trend alive. It's a dead trend and has been for 18 months.

Wibbs

Dude sporting an oversized beard four thousand years ago. Sorting out a local lion infestation, while not giving a fook.



It may be a fashion that has legs.

limnam

Wibbs wrote: »

Dude sporting an oversized beard four thousand years ago

Bloody hipster

ongarboy

Beards may have been seen as a fashion fad for a while but as a lot of guys do actually look better with beards than without out as it also gives their faces better shape,  I don't see any reason why they should then get rid of them even if they are not considered fashionable by some anymore.

professore

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

I would prefer the old way of dating because it's what I'm used to. But before criticising them, it's worth considering whether you would be able to get a date if you found yourself single again.

My mother is single for the first time in decades and she doesn't know where to start with online dating. The world is very different from the one in which she last dated.

So would you be able to adapt to the reality where your skills like body language and basic flirting are less important in getting dates?

I'd download a pic of some random handsome dude around my own age with abs and a sportscar in the background, upload to Tinder and dating sites, with a description "Self made man looking to settle down". When I'd rock up, I'd just say I'd gained a few pounds, lost some hair, and after having some fun, that I lost my fortune in the Celtic Tiger years. Problem solved.