Modern young fellas

freshpopcorn · 01-01-2018 01:28PM

Sometimes groups of people can be messing on their phones and talking to one another but a lot of the conversation would involve phones. Sometimes tough people go out with one another and don't have much interest in one another and the phones pass the time.
My only issue with modern young fella is guys who go around with a short pants and their bare ankles hanging out.

El_Duderino 09 · 01-01-2018 02:20PM

Dakota Dan wrote:

If there is ever a man made or natural disaster that will mean people will have to go back to basics the pansies will be the first to die out.

kerryjack wrote:

LOL your right there Dan the ****e would hit the fan

Nonsense. The old and sick would be the first to die off and the ones who are unable to adapt would be next. The young lads could adapt to the reality. Could you?

As above, your grandad probably would have said he and thing about you and your generation. Things change.

Lemsiper · 01-01-2018 02:29PM

Those fūcking ankles, in winter FFS.

El_Duderino 09 · 01-01-2018 02:31PM

silverharp wrote:

puts on fuddy duddy hat , not in favour of young people using dating apps. You have to hone your dating skills at the coal face, feet to the fire and all that. came across it somewhere recently that young people are losing subtle skills like body language or even basic flirting skills.

I would prefer the old way of dating because it's what I'm used to. But before criticising them, it's worth considering whether you would be able to get a date if you found yourself single again.

My mother is single for the first time in decades and she doesn't know where to start with online dating. The world is very different from the one in which she last dated.

So would you be able to adapt to the reality where your skills like body language and basic flirting are less important in getting dates?

kerryjack · 01-01-2018 02:58PM

Well lads I came from the top of mountain where women were scarce and sheep were nervous so anything to help you get laid or what ever ye call it these days was helpfull

01-01-2018 04:14PM

silverharp wrote: »

You have to hone your dating skills at the coal face, feet to the fire and all that. came across it somewhere recently that young people are losing subtle skills like body language or even basic flirting skills.

I'm single at 40 and never married. I've been single most of my life with short-term relationships (6mths to 3yrs) scattered throughout the years. Never been particularly interested in marriage nor have I met someone that we still clicked after a while of being together. Just the way things are for some people.

silverharp, I learned dating as you suggest. I went out, did my cold approaches, learned to read body language, practiced my tonality, dabbled with NLP/Psycholody textbooks for help, and read heaps of dating manuals to improve my success rate. And I was/am relatively successful.

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

So would you be able to adapt to the reality where your skills like body language and basic flirting are less important in getting dates?

I don't think many people really understand how the dating landscape has changed. It's fine if you're still within your native social circle (school/college friends/family). Dating consists of meeting people referred on by friends/family, or you're semi-aware of the person from the past. There is the obvious connection, which is very much the traditional views on dating. We all went through it at various stages of our lives.

However, time has moved on, and so have people. Many of us are living in places other than our home area, and don't have the support from our friends, etc. Even when you do return to our hometowns after years away, you'll often find that most of those you knew have moved away to greener pastures. And traditionally, we hit the bars and nightclubs to meet someone. Or went to activities or events to meet those who might share interests. That's still very much part of dating, especially as we get older.

Alas, things have changed. This suspicion that has been pushed by the media or women's rights groups against men, has created a perception of fear in many men. This movement that suggests that the male gender is dangerous in terms of abuse, or harassment. And many of the (single) men I know won't engage in the previous methods of meeting and dating women because it can be misinterpreted so easily. There is such a fine line between approaching a woman and being accused of harassment.

Now, I've heard so many objections about this from the supporters of the female rights, and I can't be bothered rehashing the arguments again. Apparently, all men are to be held accountable for the behavior of a minority.

Just to say that many men are turning to online dating apps because they believe they can establish the interest of the female before any dating is begun. It reduces the risk to the men because there is an obvious paper trail to show their own side of the story should things go crappy. The sexual side of things is a whole different ballgame though.

But honestly, while I did some dating when I returned to Ireland, I've decided not to continue. There really is too much suspicion involved, and I don't see it improving any time soon.

limnam · 01-01-2018 04:47PM

OneoOne1 wrote: »

Went into a bar today. Sat at the bar when a group of young fella, about 6 or 7, came in and sat behind me. I was considering moving as I expected them to be rowdy and loud. After a few minutes I had forgotten they were there as they were so quiet.. I looked behind me and saw all of them on their phones not saying a word. Two of them were even using earphones.

I just found it very sad.

Please tell me this is not normal.

If they were loud and brash you'd have got the hump.

They were not loud and brash and you got the hump

Grumpy old men :pac:

Adam1738 · 01-01-2018 04:54PM

I try to avoid my phone as much as possible on a night out to enjoy the moment, will never understand the people who spend half the night on snapchat pretending they're having a good time.

limnam · 01-01-2018 05:01PM

Adam1738 wrote: »

I try to avoid my phone as much as possible on a night out to enjoy the moment, will never understand the people who spend half the night on snapchat pretending they're having a good time.

The great thing is you'll be so in your moment you can safely ignore them and not try to understand how other people enjoy their time

irishman86 · 01-01-2018 05:14PM

Dakota Dan wrote: »

If there is ever a man made or natural disaster that will mean people will have to go back to basics the pansies will be the first to die out.

I'm guessing you would be one of the first gone then
As everyone knows what a fake hard man sounds like :rolleyes:

Katgurl · 01-01-2018 05:23PM

I thought the same about a group of girls in their early twenties I observed recently. They were at the airport bar waiting for a flight back to Dublin. If that had been my friends and I after a girls weekend we would have been talking and laughing so hard you would have moved bar to escape the noise pollution. It was depressing to watch them. They barely cracked a smile between them. The only time I noticed any activity was when they filmed something, presumbly for social media - three of them burst into life and started dancing in front of the camera. As soon as the camera was put away they slumped back into their chairs looking bored.

the purple tin · 01-01-2018 05:59PM

Adam1738 wrote: »

I try to avoid my phone as much as possible on a night out to enjoy the moment, will never understand the people who spend half the night on snapchat pretending they're having a good time.

The only time I noticed any activity was when they filmed something, presumbly for social media - three of them burst into life and started dancing in front of the camera. As soon as the camera was put away they slumped back into their chairs looking bored.

You've both hit the nail on the head. Having a fun night out or good experience is not the most important thing. Giving others the illusion that you've had a great night through social media is what really counts.

Dakota Dan · 01-01-2018 09:58PM

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Nonsense. The old and sick would be the first to die off and the ones who are unable to adapt would be next. The young lads could adapt to the reality. Could you?

As above, your grandad probably would have said he and thing about you and your generation. Things change.

Obviously the old and the sick would have someone to look after them, young lads nowadays could hardly chop wood never mind light a fire. As for my grandfathers both were born in the 1800's, one died a few months before I was born and the other died when I was 4 years old.

Dakota Dan · 01-01-2018 10:02PM

irishman86 wrote: »

I'm guessing you would be one of the first gone then
As everyone knows what a fake hard man sounds like :rolleyes:

Get a good nights sleep you'll feel better in the morning.

Captain Slow IRL · 01-01-2018 10:05PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCc_Q60L0S8

El_Duderino 09 · 01-01-2018 10:12PM

Dakota Dan wrote: »

Obviously the old and the sick would have someone to look after them, young lads nowadays could hardly chop wood never mind light a fire. As for my grandfathers both were born in the 1800's, one died a few months before I was born and the other died when I was 4 years old.

Lol. Load of rubbish. There’s a war on but it doesn’t affect elderly or sick care? You’re making up a rubbish scenario to have a go at Young fellas. As is always the case, the young people would do the heavy lifting so old codgers can sit around and complain.

Young fellas could adapt could you?

So your grandfathers who were born in the 1800s and died before you we’re born, would consider you a soft man by their standards. It’s just something old people say about young people. Says more about you than them.

NollagShona · 01-01-2018 10:13PM

live and let live OP?? Especially as they weren't impacting on you.

El_Duderino 09 · 01-01-2018 10:26PM

Deleted User wrote: »

I don't think many people really understand how the dating landscape has changed. It's fine if you're still within your native social circle (school/college friends/family). Dating consists of meeting people referred on by friends/family, or you're semi-aware of the person from the past. There is the obvious connection, which is very much the traditional views on dating. We all went through it at various stages of our lives.

However, time has moved on, and so have people. Many of us are living in places other than our home area, and don't have the support from our friends, etc. Even when you do return to our hometowns after years away, you'll often find that most of those you knew have moved away to greener pastures. And traditionally, we hit the bars and nightclubs to meet someone. Or went to activities or events to meet those who might share interests. That's still very much part of dating, especially as we get older.

Alas, things have changed. This suspicion that has been pushed by the media or women's rights groups against men, has created a perception of fear in many men. This movement that suggests that the male gender is dangerous in terms of abuse, or harassment. And many of the (single) men I know won't engage in the previous methods of meeting and dating women because it can be misinterpreted so easily. There is such a fine line between approaching a woman and being accused of harassment.

Now, I've heard so many objections about this from the supporters of the female rights, and I can't be bothered rehashing the arguments again. Apparently, all men are to be held accountable for the behavior of a minority.

Just to say that many men are turning to online dating apps because they believe they can establish the interest of the female before any dating is begun. It reduces the risk to the men because there is an obvious paper trail to show their own side of the story should things go crappy. The sexual side of things is a whole different ballgame though.

But honestly, while I did some dating when I returned to Ireland, I've decided not to continue. There really is too much suspicion involved, and I don't see it improving any time soon.

Well that’s the question I asked. How would you adapt to the modern dating culture if you found yourself single through one circumstance or another. Your answer is that you’ve given up dating which I think shows the point. Lots of people manage to date successfully in the modern world.

So if it’s a matter of survival of the fittest, then is the problem really with the culture or the individual who can’t adapt to the culture?

You didn’t take long to blame feminists for the fact that things have become harder for men... while posting on a thread which was started by men, with mostly male posters, and is about bashing young men for being young men.

I knew it was the feminists. Even when it was the men, I knew it was the feminists.

01-01-2018 11:17PM

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

You didn’t take long to blame feminists for the fact that things have become harder for men... while posting on a thread which was started by men, with mostly male posters, and is about bashing young men for being young men.

I knew it was the feminists. Even when it was the men, I knew it was the feminists.

Blame? We are all to blame for allowing it to get this far.

You asked about dating. I was dating until recently. I have many friends who feel the same way from their own experiences while dating. There is a real fear of what response you will receive from a woman in an approach, during the dating process and when/if the dating extends to intimacy. The discussion on the metoo campaign highlighted many of those fears, for example, when there were submissions by women who believed a man approaching them for a date consisted of harassment simply because she wasn't interested.

When women can reinvent the meanings of harassment to include the manner in which men approach women for the purposes of dating, that's going to generate concern.

But it's fine. I understand that you're a staunch feminist, and you'll see it as an attack on feminism. It's not. I'm simply referring to the side-effects of these movements on dating.

Well that’s the question I asked. How would you adapt to the modern dating culture if you found yourself single through one circumstance or another. Your answer is that you’ve given up dating which I think shows the point. Lots of people manage to date successfully in the modern world.

Yup. Many people are indeed dating successfully in the modern world. And there are many different circumstances for their positive or negative experiences. Personally, I didn't have any issues with dating until I returned to Ireland, and if I can't adapt to the changing environment, you're right in believing it's my own responsibility.

So if it’s a matter of survival of the fittest, then is the problem really with the culture or the individual who can’t adapt to the culture?

survival of the fittest? why insert that? I didn't.

As for adaptation... I did point out my opinion for the rise in the use of dating apps/websites... rather than using the more traditional ways of meeting women, and establishing a relationship. Culture though is always a definite factor.

Wibbs · 01-01-2018 11:51PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Blame? We are all to blame for allowing it to get this far.

Yep, god forbid people are equally responsible. Though on the concern about some random woman taking offence because you attempted to chat her up, I see that as a great litmus test that a) she's a bloody loonie and b) better to find out now rather than later(stealth loonies of any stripe are much worse) and c) an opportunity to say "Next!". There's a few billion women in the world, if you're in a fairly big urban area there's many many thousands. They're not exactly rare. Ditto for men.

Culture though is always a definite factor.

It's a huge factor. And I'd not "blame" feminism are any other ism in particular for it. It's more about the increasing self involved and self isolating and self perpetuating sensitivity of groups within society in general.

Modern "feminism" is a perfect example of a victimhood church, but by god it's not the only one. MRA types mirror them very well, MGTOW even moreso. Even though their notions are mostly BS and paranoia, I'd have some respect for "red pill" types, as at least their credo is based on the notion that "this is how the world really works and we must acknowledge it, adapt to it by (dubious) self improvement and use it to our advantage". It's active, not passive and it's not sacred victimhood to the same degree.

AndrewJRenko · 01-01-2018 11:53PM

I was in Nando's today and noticed one young man with headphones on, playing a game on his phone while sitting at a table with two mates, and one young teen with earphones in, zoned out of a family chat at the table. Whatever about people using their phones, surely the earphones is just a step too far?

silverharp · 01-01-2018 11:57PM

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

I was in Nando's today and noticed one young man with headphones on, playing a game on his phone while sitting at a table with two mates, and one young teen with earphones in, zoned out of a family chat at the table. Whatever about people using their phones, surely the earphones is just a step too far?

on the plus side smoking might drop off

El_Duderino 09 · 02-01-2018 12:20AM

Deleted User wrote:

Blame? We are all to blame for allowing it to get this far.

Well as you said in the quote below, and it's the media and women's rights groups behind it.

Deleted User wrote:

Alas, things have changed. This suspicion that has been pushed by the media or women's rights groups against men, has created a perception of fear in many men. This movement that suggests that...

Deleted User wrote:

But it's fine. I understand that you're a staunch feminist, and you'll see it as an attack on feminism. It's not. I'm simply referring to the side-effects of these movements on dating.

Yes, you blamed feminism. Even though you're posting in a thread which is taking the Micky out of young men, it's clearly the media and he feminists who are being unfair to men.

Deleted User wrote:

You asked about dating. I was dating until recently. I have many friends who feel the same way from their own experiences while dating. There is a real fear of what response you will receive from a woman in an approach, during the dating process and when/if the dating extends to intimacy. The discussion on the metoo campaign highlighted many of those fears, for example, when there were submissions by women who believed a man approaching them for a date consisted of harassment simply because she wasn't interested.

Are the men you're hanging around with whom have decided to give up dating, older or younger men?

Deleted User wrote:

survival of the fittest? why insert that? I didn't.

I know you didn't, I brought it up. It's essentially what were taking about. Dating and finding a partner. The dating environment has changed and people either keep up, like the young lads who are subject of so much ridicule, or they don't

Schwanz · 02-01-2018 12:24AM

Some of the young lads giving the girls a good running for the best feminine looking thing in the room.

WTF

02-01-2018 10:29AM

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Yes, you blamed feminism. Even though you're posting in a thread which is taking the Micky out of young men, it's clearly the media and he feminists who are being unfair to men.

Where I responded to remarks about dating, and the use of Social media.

Are you claiming that our society isn't going through some pretty big changes with regards to the public perception of women towards men? Or the focus of the media on men in regards to abuse/harassment?

Are the men you're hanging around with whom have decided to give up dating, older or younger men?

Same age and younger. I don't have many friends who are older than me in Europe.

I know you didn't, I brought it up. It's essentially what were taking about.

No. I was talking about how our society had changed due to feminism influence, and how that has affected men's attitude to dating. Survival of the fittest suggests a different perspective.

Dating and finding a partner. The dating environment has changed and people either keep up, like the young lads who are subject of so much ridicule, or they don't

True enough.

El_Duderino 09 · 02-01-2018 11:11AM

Deleted User wrote:

Where I responded to remarks about dating, and the use of Social media.

I get that. And you're about to blame feminists and media for some of the problems men face. You seem oblivious to the fact that this thread is by men, for men, to have a go at younger men. It's not only feminists who are having a go at men. Men are doing it right now in this thread.

Deleted User wrote:

Are you claiming that our society isn't going through some pretty big changes with regards to the public perception of women towards men? Or the focus of the media on men in regards to abuse/harassment?

No, I'm not claiming that. Think the floodgates have opened on abuse over the last 20 years. From clerical sexual abuse and cover-up, to Weinstein. Historical abuse is coming to light and it's all coming together. That's bound to change culture. If all that happened and nothing changed, then there would be a problem too.

Isn't a focus on male abuse/harassment a natural consequence of the male abuse and harassment that's been coming to light? Should the media pretend there was an equal number of female perpetrators just to balance it out? Or make up a female equivalent to Weinstein.

Apps and online dating in general seem to be the way young people have solved those problems for themselves. They're comfortable enough with social media to get to know each other online before meeting.

Deleted User wrote:

Same age and younger. I don't have many friends who are older than me in Europe.

Fair enough. I can't say I know any lads my own age who have given up dating. I don't even know any lads who talk about chatting with a woman and being accused of harassment. If that's an experience you kept having, then do you think all the NLP and flirting textbooks (the acceptable side of PUA), might be coming across too strong?

Deleted User wrote:

No. I was talking about how our society had changed due to feminism influence, and how that has affected men's attitude to dating. Survival of the fittest suggests a different perspective.

Survival of the fittest in a cultural sense is exactly what were talking about. Those who adapt to change in their environment and partner up or reproduce are, by definition, the fittest for their environment. Whether by nature or adaption to the culture is irrelevant, though adapting to the culture is probably more commendable.

El_Duderino 09 · 02-01-2018 11:17AM

El_Duderino 09 wrote:

Isn't a focus on male abuse/harassment a natural consequence of the male abuse and harassment that's been coming to light? Should the media pretend there was an equal number of female perpetrators just to balance it out? Or make up a female equivalent to Weinstein.

On that point I do think there has been an effect similarly to people who watch air crash investigation shows and develop a phobia of flying. Total misunderstanding of the likelihood of having a bad experience. I can't say I've experienced I in my life personally, but I understand it exists

Fitz* · 02-01-2018 11:34AM

Using phones on a night out is ok with me, to a certain degree.

If I'm out watching a match with a friend, we'll often have a pint during the pre-match build up and probably be looking at twitter for some reaction on team lineups, tactics etc as usually a pub will have background music on the speakers and not the build up commentary. Same applies for HT & FT analysis. If other friends are not there with us, there is probably some discussion happening about the same topics in a whatsapp group. This is not full on conversations, it's little notes about the common topic. Obviously, if I am with the lads, we are also saying this to each other also.

I might take a snapchat and send a picture out to friends to let them know that I'm out in town for the next few hours - more could end up coming to the same place.

It's just the way modern society interact now as everyone is dotted across the globe these days and this is the easiest way. The way some people talk, they expect all their friends to be informed that I am going to be in a certain pub at a certain time and tell everyone I know that I will be there. Everyone will arrive together and must talk to each other only at all times, unless we approach a stranger of course and strike conversation with them.

This whole thing that posters say on boards lately is giving out about people 'talking to each other on facebook" has to stop. Mainly because nobody actually posts anything to facebook anymore. Maybe pictures of a night night out or holiday after they have occured but nobody has conversations in public on facebook, or posts real time pictures of their drink on facebook.

Wibbs · 02-01-2018 12:10PM

FitzShane wrote: »

It's just the way modern society interact now as everyone is dotted across the globe these days and this is the easiest way. The way some people talk, they expect all their friends to be informed that I am going to be in a certain pub at a certain time and tell everyone I know that I will be there. Everyone will arrive together and must talk to each other only at all times, unless we approach a stranger of course and strike conversation with them.

Yep, times change. Now there's an element of truth in the notion that people have become overly distracted by their social media and phones, creating an online "life" in lieu of an actual one, but there's also the large element of "young people these days!! In my day!! I don't understand this" old fartism going on.

I remember a kinda similar if smaller scale argument when the Sony Walkman came out and became popular. This is no way to listen to music! People are walking around like isolated zombies* in their own little world! What's the world coming to! etc. I also heard similar type stuff when gaming really took over, especially when it went web multiplayer.

People and trends shift. It is what it and always has been. The pace of that change these days is faster which can be disorientating and I would reckon these changes are more widespread across a society. The above Walkman comparison was small scale and mostly age demographic, today's social media machine is across most demographics. It'll be interesting to see how it trends out.

*the first Walkman had two headphone jacks, so two people could listen to music, but it wasn't popular and was dropped in subsequent releases.

NollagShona · 02-01-2018 01:05PM

Schwanz wrote: »

Some of the young lads giving the girls a good running for the best feminine looking thing in the room.

WTF

A bit turned on?

Modern young fellas

Comments