Musicians, how has it helped you with women?

TheBiz · 11-09-2016 12:55AM #1

For the gentlemen here who play an instrument, sing, are in a band and the likes has it helped you with women? Do they find you more attractive as a result?

I was at a house party in college last week and I was playing the guitar and singing. Now I didn't know many people there but I was getting a lot of pats on the back and those half handshake half high five signs of approval.
There were girls (all but 4 of them) present, they seemed to enjoy it.

Today I got a notification, one of the girls had swiped right on tinder (keep in mind I'm a college student, I need sources of contact, so tinder). Now she is stupidly good looking kind, in that 'she's either got a boyfriend or she's too good to have a boyfriend' kind of way.
So, either it was me looking like I was well respected in a group of lads/popular or it was the guitar and singing but something worked..
Has it worked for you?
I know girls flaunt over rockstars but that's a different callibre.

Lemming · 11-09-2016 01:35AM

Music isn't some sort of PUA technique. At a house party, the person(s) in the middle of it all seems like the fun person to be around, so others gravitate towards them. So, some girls will be attracted to the fact that you're musically inclined (whether they're interested in 'you' or the fact that you are a male & can play guitar is another question ... ), some will be attracted to your being the centre of attention at a house party, plenty more wont give a hoot.

Clampdown · 11-09-2016 02:21AM

I think it's well documented that there's actually an epidemic of mediocre musicians (y'know, the type who can manage a few covers but could never write a decent song themselves) inflicting their performances on house party guests all over Ireland, simply because it gets them attention from the drunk young women.

I don't blame them (or you) for doing it, but trust me, not everyone enjoys hearing an acoustic version of Don't Look Back in Anger for the millionth time.

Speedwell · 11-09-2016 04:10AM

Heh, in college I was always that girl with the guy with the guitar, because I sang harmony and we sounded good. It wasn't a band groupie thing, either; my boyfriend and I used to be "the music team" at church retreats. After we broke up, after college, I spent some time with a DJ who was in the forefront of what would later become known as "trance", and years later with another guitar dude who introduced me to the famous guitarist Eric Johnson in Austin, Texas.

My husband now isn't a bit musical, but he thinks it's cool that I am. I miss playing and singing in that sort of close ensemble and I picked up the bodhran because, being a pianist, I desperately wanted something to take to a session around here. I am still too shy to actually participate, but you might see me around a pub once or twice, the American chick holding a silver-gray bodhran like a drowning woman holding a life preserver. I don't doubt that if I were single, I'd find my next squeeze in a session somewhere.

Grayditch · 11-09-2016 04:14AM

Unbelievably so. The theremin is an absolute fanny magnet.

Speedwell · 11-09-2016 04:15AM

Grayditch wrote: »

Unbelievably so. The theremin is an absolute fanny magnet.

Hey, a man who's that good with his hands

mzungu · 11-09-2016 09:56AM

Clampdown wrote: »

I don't blame them (or you) for doing it, but trust me, not everyone enjoys hearing an acoustic version of Don't Look Back in Anger for the millionth time.

At least things have moved on from Wonderwall.:pac:

Dial Hard · 11-09-2016 10:10AM

I actively avoid anyone with an acoustic guitar at parties, for they are the black hole into which any semblance of craic shall vanish.

mzungu · 11-09-2016 10:16AM

The last thing any house party ever wants, or needs, is some bloke belting out Damien Rice or some other crap. It kills the buzz entirely. There has never ever been a time where the introduction of an acoustic guitar means that things are getting cranked up a notch.

Charizard · 11-09-2016 10:51PM

mzungu wrote: »

At least things have moved on from Wonderwall.:pac:

Oh God stop, if I dont hear that song again, Ill die a happy man. It was played every night in a hostel I stayed in Cairns, that and Save Tonight.
Sex on fire was ruined in college, when the idiots next door had it on repeat for some reason :mad:

faceman · 11-09-2016 10:57PM

OP, in the words of Scroobius Pip:

wrote:

Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls' pants. Use it to get into their heads.

OP don't be that guy at the party with a guitar. Cos in 20 years time you'll still be singing Wonderwall but wondering why women aren't as in to you.

Listen to the Dead Cat Bounce song "My Party Now".

TheBiz · 12-09-2016 08:38AM

mzungu wrote: »

The last thing any house party ever wants, or needs, is some bloke belting out Damien Rice or some other crap. It kills the buzz entirely. There has never ever been a time where the introduction of an acoustic guitar means that things are getting cranked up a notch.

That night was different, we had no speaker so any music was drowned out by talking, someone seen the guitar in my bedroom and brough it into the kitchen and me and another lad started passing it back and forward playing whatever we could think of, usually something with a good chorus.
And I was asked if I would play coconut skins more times than anything else (even wonderwall)..
It went down well, I'm not nor do I want to be that lad who brings a guitar to parties and I certainly wouldn't pick it up if I saw a guitar, but I was asked, another lad had already sang a few songs and everyone was in the mood to change the word 'candy' in Candy by Paolo Nutini to Cider.

kunst nugget · 12-09-2016 10:27AM

TheBiz wrote: »

another lad had already sang a few songs and everyone was in the mood to change the word 'candy' in Candy by Paolo Nutini to Cider.

Student parties are just too mental for their own good! Madness!!! You should have sang 'Sit Down' by James and I bet everyone would have sat down! Student are ker-az-ee!

TheBiz · 12-09-2016 11:15AM

kunst nugget wrote: »

Student parties are just too mental for their own good! Madness!!! You should have sang 'Sit Down' by James and I bet everyone would have sat down! Student are ker-az-ee!

There was a deal on drink so everyone was in there later stages by 10 o clock, and drunk people love singing.
I don't think there's a need for the sarcasm.

Knex* · 12-09-2016 11:18AM

Dial Hard wrote: »

I actively avoid anyone with an acoustic guitar at parties, for they are the black hole into which any semblance of craic shall vanish.

mzungu wrote: »

The last thing any house party ever wants, or needs, is some bloke belting out Damien Rice or some other crap. It kills the buzz entirely. There has never ever been a time where the introduction of an acoustic guitar means that things are getting cranked up a notch.

I play acoustic guitar and refuse to play at house parties. You will often get one or two that annoy the **** outta you for a song though, but its rarely worth it. The majority just wanna listen to decent music, drink, and have a chat. Myself included.

Day Lewin · 12-09-2016 11:22AM

My tuppenceworth - a person who has a talent is always more interesting than some drunk eejit who can only talk about himself while drooling through a slack-jawed grin.

Also, most people - in my circles - anyway - know a song and would like to hear a favourite or even sing one.

So, in the circles I move in, the command of an instrument is a passport to popularity :-)

A bit of advice: smile at the girl and ask her what her favourite song is.

Best o' good luck!

PS : Knex has a point, too: don't hog the floor, and either stop altogether after a modest turn, or let others have a go at performing.

Knex* · 12-09-2016 11:32AM

Good point with regards to the circles of friends your with. Mine are into music, but its more rap, electronic and so on, and none of them can really sing or play instruments. Goes without saying then that bringing out an acoustic guitar wouldn't exactly appeal to the majority.

On the other hand, and the more family oriented events, when all my aunts and uncles, cousins, parents friends etc, are all together, there's always a sing song by the end of the night, whereby a few musicians will be there playing instruments and the majority are singing.

Totally different environment to a college party, or any of my own house parties, though.

Edit: Should actually answer the OPs question - Yes, I find it definitely helps your chances if they get to hear you sing and play guitar.

fryup · 12-09-2016 11:40AM

seems to work for this guy....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh95taIdCo0

brevity · 12-09-2016 11:49AM

Learn to play spoons...you'll be drowning in it.

Pat Mustard · 12-09-2016 08:33PM

mzungu wrote: »

The last thing any house party ever wants, or needs, is some bloke belting out Damien Rice or some other crap. It kills the buzz entirely.

And there is usually some muppet who shushes everyone so they can all listen to 'Hey There Delilah' instead of having a party.

SarahMollie · 13-09-2016 09:47AM

I'm not sure its always an attractive thing. My college BF DJ'd quite a bit and made a decent amount of money at it. I hated it though as the night work took a toll on him, not to mention the non stop stream of girls giving him their numbers. I was with him despite him being a DJ, not because of it.

My current OH was in a band through most of his 20's. It was before we met, but I find looking at old youtube videos of them pretty hilarious rather than really cool. They actually put out a few records, got some radio play and gigged a lot including festivals so they had a bit of success. He (and the other lads) admit that they were all hopeless with girls back then anyway and had "minus game".

johnnyskeleton · 14-09-2016 10:03AM

Everyone i know can play some sort of instrument to some basic level of proficency. I assumed i was a basic skill like being able to cook dinner or read. Being able to play an instrument is necessary to mark one out as not a weirdo!

silverbolt · 15-09-2016 02:21PM

TheBiz wrote: »

For the gentlemen here who play an instrument, sing, are in a band and the likes has it helped you with women? Do they find you more attractive as a result?

I was at a house party in college last week and I was playing the guitar and singing. Now I didn't know many people there but I was getting a lot of pats on the back and those half handshake half high five signs of approval.
There were girls (all but 4 of them) present, they seemed to enjoy it.

Today I got a notification, one of the girls had swiped right on tinder (keep in mind I'm a college student, I need sources of contact, so tinder). Now she is stupidly good looking kind, in that 'she's either got a boyfriend or she's too good to have a boyfriend' kind of way.
So, either it was me looking like I was well respected in a group of lads/popular or it was the guitar and singing but something worked..
Has it worked for you?
I know girls flaunt over rockstars but that's a different callibre.

Saxophonist here. My partner finds me playing sax to be very sexy however badly i play.

whether people do or not is irrelevant for me. i play for me and to entertain, i dont play to pick up women, ok i wouldnt do that now but even when single that wasnt the intent. I learn songs that i want to learn hence why my music mostly consists of stuff by John Williams,

Also on guitar playing. This is Ireland, every other small town Joe knows how to pluck a few strings. Play for you, not to impress.

Spoon Head · 17-09-2016 06:04PM

Taking up an instrument did not make me successful with women, improving myself mentally and physically did.

Elliott S · 18-09-2016 06:55PM

A female acquaintance of mine recently said in my company: "Musicians are so hot". Not some musicians, just musicians in general. The state of them being musicians confers hotness to her apparently. There is definitely a small minority of women who are like this. Any musician, no matter how mediocre, they'll be stuck to like shít to a blanket.

Elliott S · 18-09-2016 07:01PM

katemarch wrote: »

My tuppenceworth - a person who has a talent is always more interesting than some drunk eejit who can only talk about himself while drooling through a slack-jawed grin.

Not everyone who whips out a guitar at parties had talent though! :pac: In this scenario, the non-music making slack jawed drunkard is the more preferable of the two.

Dial Hard · 18-09-2016 07:03PM

Elliott S wrote:

A female acquaintance of mine recently said in my company: "Musicians are so hot". Not some musicians, just musicians in general. The state of them being musicians confers hotness to her apparently. There is definitely a small minority of women who are like this. Any musician, no matter how mediocre, they'll be stuck to like shÃt to a blanket.

It's known as MOSS. Man On Stage Syndrome. Never understood it, tbh.

One of my sisters suffers from a related issue, MOPS. Man on Pitch Syndrome.

Achasanai · 18-09-2016 07:10PM

It's bad enough at parties, but have seen it kill a wedding on one occasion. Halfway through the afters, everyone drinking and having a great time, and then a guy who did a few songs at the ceremony comes on and kills the wedding. Might have been a tactic on the married couple's part.

The Wolverine · 18-09-2016 11:03PM

Dial Hard wrote: »

It's known as MOSS. Man On Stage Syndrome. Never understood it, tbh.

One of my sisters suffers from a related issue, MOPS. Man on Pitch Syndrome.

Jersey puller as we call them out West

Clampdown · 19-09-2016 01:53AM

Elliott S wrote: »

Any musician, no matter how mediocre, they'll be stuck to like shít to a blanket.

'Like sh!t to a blanket?' Is that an expression? Never heard of it. Why would there be sh!t on a blanket?

Wibbs · 19-09-2016 08:40AM

Indeed it is. Australian in source, which I didn't know.

Imhof Tank · 19-09-2016 08:45PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V_hCqO6UQs

JimmyCrackCorn · 19-09-2016 11:37PM

Guitar or Didgeridoo - That is the real question

Mackman · 20-09-2016 06:48AM

It has helped me anyway, more than a few occasions. I used to play lead guitar in a band, now I play drums. The wife reckons both are hot, but it's the guitar that really does it for her, it's the dexterity with the fingers apparently

I completely agree with the 'guy with the acoustic at a party' theme though. I always refuse when a guitar is thrust in my face at a party. It's a pain in the arse, I wanna party too, not entertain you plebs

irlirishkev · 21-09-2016 03:06PM

Oh it helped alright!
I was an introverted shyguy with no girl skillz whatsoever!
Then I joined a band (as singer and guitarist), my circle of friends increased as a result, and with that brought many new female faces.
My confidence grew, I became more of an extrovert, and I had zero problems getting attention from the ladies (girls).
It wasn't just within circles of friends either. I was getting attention at gigs from randomers that I never would have dreamed possible a few years earlier.
The position you hold in a band is certainly important.

That was back in my early 20s when I was single. These days I'm neither

Wise Old Elf · 21-09-2016 07:36PM

I played in a band at various stages between ages 18-30 (approx). I'm heading for 40 now, married with kids, so music has taken a back seat.
I can't recall it helping too much in my single days to be honest, but that was probably more me at the time than anything else (shy and socially awkward).
I do recall playing a gig in Luxembourg about 10 years ago and noticing a little more attention than I would normally get, but at that stage I was married so it was no use

I'm ashamed to admit that I was once that acoustic guitar w@nker, maybe only about three times, but still. Now let us never speak of it again.

Melodeon · 21-09-2016 07:48PM

I can't believe nobody has posted this here yet!:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5QCs3PnQBc

grumpynerd · 02-11-2016 08:13PM

it only works if you look like a rockstar. if you're actually a music fan and a good player it works against you.

Musicians, how has it helped you with women?

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