who are you surprised by coming out?

Dr Crayfish · 19-03-2017 03:25PM

Now that I think of it, I have no gay friends or associates. Personally I couldn't care less about someone's sexuality. Does anyone?

Andy From Sligo · 19-03-2017 03:28PM

I'm not a Troll BTW even though some people on here think I am , I'm just misunderstood, throw in a bit of I don't know how to word stuff properly, and maybe a bit of not knowing how to use boards properly, then tie that in with it seems to upset some other posters plus a bit of if I was all sweetness and nice and sucked up to every member on boards and I would still offend someone some way... and thats it, that would be me...

Galwayguy35 · 19-03-2017 04:21PM

Achasanai wrote: »

Ah come on, one bj caught on a video, no context, and you're 'not straight' anymore?

Well to be blunt no you're not.

The idea of putting some fellas dick in my mouth would make me physically sick.

JupiterKid · 19-03-2017 04:24PM

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Well to be blunt no you're not.

The idea of putting some fellas dick in my mouth would make me physically sick.

Well, I would be well able to have sex with a woman, or "go down" on her. Does that make me straight? No, it does not. Your sexual orientation is determined by the gender you are predominantly attracted to, not the sexual acts you do.

Plenty of rent boys would be straight but perform sex acts with men for money. And also, there is a large cohort of people who are bisexual.

Galwayguy35 · 19-03-2017 04:29PM

JupiterKid wrote: »

Well, I would be well able to have sex with a woman, or "go down" on her. Does that make me straight? No, it does not. Your sexual orientation is determined by the gender you are predominantly attracted to, not the sexual acts you do.

Plenty of rent boys would be straight but perform sex acts with men for money. And also, there is a large cohort of people who are bisexual.

But we're not talking about doing sexual favours for money.

Any guy who gives a blowjob to another man but also likes women would be bisexual but he ain't straight.

nacho libre · 19-03-2017 04:55PM

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

Now that I think of it, I have no gay friends or associates. Personally I couldn't care less about someone's sexuality. Does anyone?

That you are aware of.

BlinkingLights · 19-03-2017 05:00PM

One of the things I've found is being bi is still a huge problem.

I still find I get both gay and straight people assuming I'm gay and that I just haven't somehow come to terms with it.

I also have had really bad reactions from one or two gay people over the years who practically treated me like I was being politically disloyal.

It was actually extremely difficult to deal with, particularly after I broke up from a m-f relationship which lasted a longish time (where she fully knew I'm bi) and immediately got talking behind my back about how I had "led her up the garden path" and was even confronted by an acquaintance about how I was "a disgrace" have "done that to her".

I'm openly bi, she knew I was bi, that was absolutely no issue between us and we broke up for reasons had absolutely nothing to do with my sexual orientation and on quite amicable, sane and reasonable terms.

But effectively it has meant that if I, as a single bi man, decide to go out with a man I have a load of abuse and nonsense to deal with.

Good thing I've a brass neck but it's still a lot of ridiculousnsss we could do without!

I kind of feel like I'm being treated as if being bi is an excuse or somehow a terrible thing.

There re still a lot of curtain twitching, judgemental, narrow-minded #####s out there both straight and gay.

JupiterKid · 19-03-2017 06:23PM

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

You're older than me :pac:

Joking aside I only moved here in 2001 so I can't really speak to Ireland but I felt there was still a stigma to it in the 90s in the UK. There was something in the way it was portrayed on TV. If it was a drama about a high ranking police officer or politician it was a secret to be kept. I suppose it was still an issue for the military then (IIRC) and of course it wasn't long after the height of the AIDS panic.

True, but IIRC the 90s was when attitudes by the general public towards gay people in Ireland and the UK really started to change for the better. Things for gay people were so much better in 1999 than they were in 1990.

Mountainsandh · 19-03-2017 09:44PM

BlinkingLights wrote: »

The sooner people get over it and stop being surprised at who's gay the better For everyone.

Homophobia actually just acts as a load of unnecessary stress, a bullying tool and it's been a cause of misery and even suicide for a lot of people.

The stereotyping and homophobia is even bad for hetrosexual people.

This thread really needs to be sent back to the 1980s where it belongs.

I don't think being surprised makes someone a homophobe. And stereotypes are not something you can break in seconds, like a mirror.

You can't pontificate on how people should feel, that's not going to make a blind bit of difference.
All it will achieve is to make people like myself, who couldn't give a toss whether you're bi/homo/hetero or whatever else, bristle in defense.
We sometimes get surprised at some people coming out, big freaking deal.

Incidentally we're all likely to be surprised at aspects of others' lives that we never suspected, whether they are sexually related or not.

I knew this lovely girl I was working with for a few years. She was always a bit cryptic when it came to Christmas times and some other times of the year. There were just little areas of mystery in our discussions, I never really paid attention, but kind of thought "oh yeah, hmmm, that's gas, it's like there's something she's not telling".
Some time later she told me _to.my.surprise._ that she was a Jehovah's witness. Therefore the little bits missing (not celebrating Christmas, very clean living, some things she may not partake in, some choices she made...) fell into place.
Did I ostracize her from then on ? :rolleyes:
Was I being something-phobic when I felt surprised ?
I don't think so.
Surprise is not fear, or dislike.

Stereotypes are not the most godawful damnedest thing to ever effect people either, we really need to move away from that kind of politically correct drama tbh.

I'm French. Stereotypes, right ?
I don't have a spindly moustache, wear a beret, or garlic cloves around my neck. I'm female and my armpits are smooth as a baby's bottom thank-you-very-much, I donteuhh speakkeuhh like zattteuh, and I don't wear a stripey top while cycling around town with a baguette under my arm. I don't have a hygiene problem, I'm probably arrogant at times, I used to be a heavy smoker, but I don't pour wine down my children's throats...

...I could go on.

Stereotypes are just silly things people who don't know come up with, they're not necessarily paired with intolerance, and imo it's easy and
healthier to discuss them and laugh about them with the "perpetrators" of that kind of thinking, than to take offense and declare people are something-phobic.

BlinkingLights · 19-03-2017 09:56PM

The issue is that you still have people still seem to think that being gay = being "camp".

You can be straight and super camp or gay and be a rugby player with arms like legs and legs like tree trunks who likes nothing more than a bit of on field violence.

Until that stereotype goes away people will continue to be "surprised" and it means that your blokish gay lad who ends up conflicted and a lesbian who likes fashion, makeup and hates riding Harley Davidsons ends up conflicted.

It's about changing perceptions not censoring how people think...

It'll get boring eventually when enough people are visibly out. That's still a few years of in Ireland and decades in a lot of places elsewhere...

And a surprisingly large number or people still do give a toss. You find that out when you get dropped as a friend when you come out or when some relative at a wedding has a few pints and lets rip about people like you. I've experienced both.

I've also had the "ah you're not into men. It's only a phase. Sure you'd make a wonderful dad" speech from a "friend" ...

wakka12 · 19-03-2017 10:11PM

BlinkingLights wrote: »

The issue is that you still have people still seem to think that being gay = being "camp".

You can be straight and super camp or gay and be a rugby player with arms like legs and legs like tree trunks who likes nothing more than a bit of on field violence.

Until that stereotype goes away people will continue to be "surprised" and it means that your blokish gay lad who ends up conflicted and a lesbian who likes fashion, makeup and hates riding Harley Davidsons ends up conflicted.

It's about changing perceptions not censoring how people think...

It'll get boring eventually when enough people are visibly out. That's still a few years of in Ireland and decades in a lot of places elsewhere...

And a surprisingly large number or people still do give a toss. You find that out when you get dropped as a friend when you come out or when some relative at a wedding has a few pints and lets rip about people like you. I've experienced both.

I've also had the "ah you're not into men. It's only a phase. Sure you'd make a wonderful dad" speech from a "friend" ...

some parts of Ireland couldn't get more gay friendly imo, like genuinely. College aged irish people are almost unanimously extremely accepting of gay people. In my college course theres about 250 pupils and id say 30 or so are out as gay/lesbian/bi..and most of them never even 'came out' , just came up in conversation or whatever and then it was known that they were gay. Like nobody gives the slightest ****

I know not all of Ireland is like this but all Im saying is some areas and some social groups are at peak gay friendliness levels, which is nice!

bnt · 19-03-2017 10:20PM

When it comes to celebs, I'm not convinced that Kristen Stewart really is gay by nature. She seems to be experimenting, perhaps as a reaction to her breakup with Robert Pattinson. Even calling herself "like, so gay" on SNL sounded like she was trying really hard to be not-straight. I don't know, obviously, this is only an impression from a guy who's so straight, he squeaks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc4ahnZzVM4

BlinkingLights · 19-03-2017 10:23PM

wakka12 wrote: »

some parts of Ireland couldn't get more gay friendly imo, like genuinely. College aged irish people are almost unanimously extremely accepting of gay people. In my college course theres about 250 pupils and id say 30 or so are out as gay/lesbian/bi..and most of them never even 'came out' , just came up in conversation or whatever and then it was known that they were gay. Like nobody gives the slightest ****

I know not all of Ireland is like this but all Im saying is some areas and some social groups are at peak gay friendliness levels, which is nice!

It's generational though and it has improved dramatically.

liquoriceall · 19-03-2017 10:58PM

bnt wrote: »

When it comes to celebs, I'm not convinced that Kristen Stewart really is gay by nature. She seems to be experimenting, perhaps as a reaction to her breakup with Robert Pattinson. Even calling herself "like, so gay" on SNL sounded like she was trying really hard to be not-straight. I don't know, obviously, this is only an impression from a guy who's so straight, he squeaks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc4ahnZzVM4

I am sure she will be delighted with your insight and she can get over her reactional lesbianisim!

dark crystal · 19-03-2017 10:59PM

I was genuinely surprised at Meredith Baxter (fans of 'Family Ties' will know who I'm on about) and Cynthia Nixon from Sex and the City coming out, simply because they had been seemingly happily married with children for a long period beforehand.

I can't think of anyone else famous who's sexual orientation surprised me to any great degree - blind gossip sites tend to 'out' celebrities fairly frequently over the last few years.
I genuinely don't think most people care whether people are straight or gay these days, although I can understand men and women who make their living as romantic leads in films or as pin-up pop stars being reuctant to come out as it could well affect their careers. It shouldn't, but it could.

bnt · 19-03-2017 11:04PM

liquoriceall wrote: »

I am sure she will be delighted with your insight and she can get over her reactional lesbianisim!

Hey, the OP asked for opinions, and opinions there are. No need to get all passive-aggressive here. As if KS will ever see this thread?

freshpopcorn · 19-03-2017 11:05PM

In my opinion they are Irish people out their who'd be considered semi celebrates be it from soaps or sports. Who'd be outed in the Uk but the Irish media don't really care"

RabbleRouser2k · 20-03-2017 12:01AM

liquoriceall wrote: »

I am sure she will be delighted with your insight and she can get over her reactional lesbianisim!

Actually, she's bisexual. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kristen-stewart-bisexual_us_58cabd70e4b00705db4cf1b5

REally tho, the amount of people who were like 'Stewart says she's gay-here's why it matters'...now 'Stewart says she's bisexual, here's why it matters'...

I wanna read the article where it's like 'Stewart says she's done with coffee-here's why it matters'...

stimpson · 20-03-2017 02:49PM

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

The idea of putting some fellas dick in my mouth would make me physically sick.

You don't have to deep throat if you're not comfortable with it.

GerryDerpy · 20-03-2017 03:13PM

I still can't believe that cocksucker is gay.

ohnonotgmail · 20-03-2017 03:27PM

Deleted User wrote: »

I will be really surprised if the sun comes out!

it will, tomorrow.

Winterlong · 20-03-2017 03:29PM

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

it will, tomorrow.

Bet your bottom dollar.

biko · 20-03-2017 03:33PM

Michael Jackson

20-03-2017 03:58PM

JupiterKid wrote: »

Gareth has been snapped cuddling up to his boyfriend Ian Baum in a bubble bath. Not for the faint hearted!:D

I think that's a lovely photo

hungry hypno toad · 20-03-2017 04:00PM

The OP.

dd972 · 20-03-2017 05:25PM

It's weird how if anybody's rumored to be Gay then people are desperate for it to be true, you never hear 'straight rumours' being manically spread and whispered about people.

It's like Joe Dolan for instance, I know with his wealth and fame, opportunities for marriage would have increased exponentially, however some people can't be doing with the whole thing, albeit being down to idiosyncratic personalities, lack of confidence, lack of physical attractiveness, etc, etc. People who don't marry or have relationships can't all be Gay.

Glenster · 20-03-2017 05:28PM

That news guy Aengus MacRiodha or whatever, that was a surprise.

Galwayguy35 · 20-03-2017 07:27PM

stimpson wrote: »

You don't have to deep throat if you're not comfortable with it.

Sorry can't help you there, you'll have to get someone else to swallow your little pork soldier.

stimpson · 20-03-2017 07:34PM

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Sorry can't help you there, you'll have to get someone else to swallow your little pork soldier.

Yore ma was busy.

Galwayguy35 · 20-03-2017 07:40PM

stimpson wrote: »

Yore ma was busy.

Wow what a witty response, you must have been sitting at your PC waiting for me to post on the thread.

Don't cream yourself now thinking about me.

who are you surprised by coming out?

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