What would you do?

Cletoreyes50 · 16-08-2018 12:13PM #1

A friend of mine left his wife as the sex became routine, they were having sex once a week for the sake of it. The spark was no longer there after being together for about 15 years. They have three young kids together. So he decided to break up and now is now living with his new girlfriend with whom the sex is great.

Would you make such a ballsy move to break up a family just for sex where everything else was perfect, they still love each other and were best friends?

beertons · 16-08-2018 12:15PM

Does she make nicer sandwiches too?

Sycamore Tree · 16-08-2018 12:19PM

Cletoreyes50 wrote: »

A friend of mine left his wife as the sex became routine, they were having sex once a week for the sake of it. The spark was no longer there after being together for about 15 years. They have three young kids together. So he decided to break up and now is now living with his new girlfriend with whom the sex is great.

Would you make such a ballsy move to break up a family just for sex where everything else was perfect, they still love each other and were best friends?

Newsflash. Everything else was not perfect if the sex with his wife had no spark. The love was gone.

Did he request a separation before he went off looking for good sex? If not, he is a creep.

Mr. Incognito · 16-08-2018 12:20PM

What does he do when the sex dries up with the new gf?

Cletoreyes50 · 16-08-2018 12:22PM

Sycamore Tree wrote: »

Newsflash. Everything else was not perfect if the sex with his wife had no spark. The love was gone.

Did he request a separation before he went off looking for good sex? If not, he is a creep.

He got with the new girl about a year later. Everything else was perfect, the sexual attraction was just gone. They very much love eachother to this day.

Cletoreyes50 · 16-08-2018 12:23PM

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

What does he do when the sex dries up with the new gf?

Move on I presume.

optogirl · 16-08-2018 12:23PM

Cletoreyes50 wrote: »

A friend of mine left his wife as the sex became routine, they were having sex once a week for the sake of it. The spark was no longer there after being together for about 15 years. They have three young kids together. So he decided to break up and now is now living with his new girlfriend with whom the sex is great.

Would you make such a ballsy move to break up a family just for sex where everything else was perfect, they still love each other and were best friends?

I doubt if everything else was fine - most people wouldn't break up a 15 year relationship or a young family because they are going through a patch of a bad sex life - and once a week seems pretty good for most marriages with 3 young kids around!

It seems a very impulsive thing to do - relationships are not static things - they are dynamic and the rough comes with the smooth. While sex is vital for a good marriage, it is not the be all and end all and ending a marriage purely because the sex had become mundane seems incredibly selfish. If all of the other stuff is true - that they are best friends and deeply love each other, then it seems like he's thrown away something most people hope for, for the sake of his libido - which will also change. Marrying someone is promising to stick together through the tougher times so your friend, if I'm honest, seems like a bit of a d*ck.

Cletoreyes50 · 16-08-2018 12:24PM

optogirl wrote: »

I doubt if everything else was fine - most people wouldn't break up a 15 year relationship or a young family because they are going through a patch of a bad sex life - and once a week seems pretty good for most marriages with 3 young kids around!

It seems a very impulsive thing to do - relationships are not static things - they are dynamic and the rough comes with the smooth. While sex is vital for a good marriage, it is not the be all and end all and ending a marriage purely because the sex had become mundane seems incredibly selfish. Marrying someone is promising to stick together through the tougher times so your friend, if I'm honest, seems like a bit of a d*ck.

He's not like everyone, he makes fairly ballsy moves, I actually admire his courage.

Turnipman · 16-08-2018 12:26PM

Cletoreyes50 wrote: »

Move on I presume.

Hopefully he'll get fully checked out for STIs before he shags the next one ........... and again before the next one ............ and the next one ...... and so on ad impotentium.

Chancer3001 · 16-08-2018 12:26PM

What would ya do if your son was at home
Crying all alone on the bedroom floor
Because her hungrrrrry
And the only way to feed him is to
Sleep with a man for a little bitta money
And his daddy's gone

..............
Alternatively.....
............

What would ya doooo if u sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me ?
Lend me your ears and I'll ring you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key

Signore Fancy Pants · 16-08-2018 12:27PM

I'd bang your friends wife.

Chewie Style.

verycool · 16-08-2018 12:27PM

Fella sounds like a shallow c*nt.

And this thread smells suspiciously like underneath a bridge.

16-08-2018 12:27PM

Cletoreyes50 wrote: »

A friend of mine left his wife as the sex became routine, they were having sex once a week for the sake of it. The spark was no longer there after being together for about 15 years. They have three young kids together. So he decided to break up and now is now living with his new girlfriend with whom the sex is great.

Would you make such a ballsy move to break up a family just for sex where everything else was perfect, they still love each other and were best friends?

Open relationship with strict rules would be a good path. Silly to throw away such a strong partnership just because sexual attraction has faded. We aren't built for strict monogamy.

optogirl · 16-08-2018 12:27PM

Cletoreyes50 wrote: »

He's not like everyone, he makes fairly ballsy moves, I actually admire his courage.

Well I don't think ending your marriage and leaving the home that your 3 kids live in because you're not getting your rocks off is ballsy. It's cowardly. 'I'm not having as much fun here as I anticipated so I'll just give up'. Did he make any attempts to remedy the sex situation with his wife?

super_furry · 16-08-2018 12:29PM

I'm sure those three young kids will be delighted to know that their Dad has a better sex life now.

Cletoreyes50 · 16-08-2018 12:29PM

optogirl wrote: »

Well I don't think ending your marriage and leaving the home that your 3 kids live in because you're not getting your rocks off is ballsy. It's cowardly. 'I'm not having as much fun here as I anticipated so I'll just give up'. Did he make any attempts to remedy the sex situation with his wife?

If anything the cowardly thing is to pretend everything is ok and let the lack of passionate sex slowly consume your sole.

NOVA MCMXCIV · 16-08-2018 12:29PM

Girl you ain't the only one with a baby – that's no excuse to be livin' all crazy.

SEPT 23 1989 · 16-08-2018 12:30PM

You have only one run at this life what's the point in spending 40 years in misery

Turnipman · 16-08-2018 12:31PM

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

You have only one run at this life what's the point in spending 40 years in misery

When you can ruin the lives of countless of women and kids in your unending quest to ensure that your dick remains at the centre of your universe.

bear1 · 16-08-2018 12:32PM

As someone who is loosely going through something like this I can say the guy is a dumbass.
My wife and I are in the middle of a separation with 2 kids.
It's a huge shock for us both but one we have to accept.
The sex was always good but we stopped connecting after the death of our son.
Everyday became a fight day.
We forced ourselves to be happy after a certain amout of time.
When our 2nd child was born in April the marriage was already starting to crumble.
We both said things we shouldn't have and some things we both won't ever forget.
The knock on effect is huge..
So yeah you're friend a ****ing moron.

Graces7 · 16-08-2018 12:33PM

Cletoreyes50 wrote: »

He's not like everyone, he makes fairly ballsy moves, I actually admire his courage.

Courage? His act is sheer weakness and utterly selfish .

He made a commitment and now has not got the.... words fail.... decency to stick to it.

So for the gratification of what they crudely call in Liverpool, what s between his legs, he abandons a wife AND THREE YOUNG CHILDREN.

Next time we read of a woman with small children being homeless..

He is a ...( decided to omit my words here..)

By the way, my own father did the same when I and my brother were kids. The utter pain and devastation he caused. and he even started a new family .. mind you he was on his third wife when he died ...

It is a despicable and irresponsible act...

Beta Ray Bill · 16-08-2018 12:34PM

Cletoreyes50 wrote: »

A friend of mine left his wife as the sex became routine, they were having sex once a week for the sake of it. The spark was no longer there after being together for about 15 years. They have three young kids together. So he decided to break up and now is now living with his new girlfriend with whom the sex is great.

Would you make such a ballsy move to break up a family just for sex where everything else was perfect, they still love each other and were best friends?

Left his wife and 3 kids for a ride with someone else, where the sex will inevitably also become **** over time.
Selfish prick by the sounds of it.

There's nothing Ballsy about it, he's just not a very nice person.

If it had been just him and her then fine, but fact that there's 3 kids involved and based on what you've said he didn't have a destructive relationship with the mother of his kids, makes me think he's actually just a Thick.

super_furry · 16-08-2018 12:35PM

Cletoreyes50 wrote: »

If anything the cowardly thing is to pretend everything is ok and let the lack of passionate sex slowly consume your sole.

Give over. If your friend actually exists, then he clearly thinks that having 'exciting sex' is more important than the welfare of his three kids.

optogirl · 16-08-2018 12:35PM

Cletoreyes50 wrote: »

If anything the cowardly thing is to pretend everything is ok and let the lack of passionate sex slowly consume your sole.

Did he do anything to try to remedy things? Did he get married thinking everything was always going to be exactly the same?

Beta Ray Bill · 16-08-2018 12:40PM

Cletoreyes50 wrote: »

He's not like everyone, he makes fairly ballsy moves, I actually admire his courage.

He actually just sounds Thick.
Ballsy moves are moves made by people that are trying to wriggle out of a problem or situation rather than dealing it directly.

If their relationship was good, Sex should have been easy to sort out (It's one of the easiest things to sort out, given it was obviously good before hand).
Why didn't they?

Edit:
She could easily say:
I want a divorce,
I want the kids (Max €600 per month per kid maintenance)
I want the house.
I want the car.

Now he set back financially until the youngest kid is 21.
All for the sake of ride.... probably with some yoke that won't even want a sniff of him when she sees how financially labored he's going to be for the next X years.

What an Idiot!

begbysback · 16-08-2018 12:46PM

super_furry wrote: »

Give over. If your friend actually exists, then he clearly thinks that having 'exciting sex' is more important than the welfare of his three kids.

Would it not be possible for him to provide for them whilst living elsewhere?

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 16-08-2018 12:47PM

Cletoreyes50 wrote: »

If anything the cowardly thing is to pretend everything is ok and let the lack of passionate sex slowly consume your sole.

My feet have never suffered from the lack of passionate sex.

Beta Ray Bill · 16-08-2018 12:48PM

Vincent Icy Doughnut wrote: »

My feet have never suffered from the lack of passionate sex.

F*cker!
Bet me to it!!!

PlaneSpeeking · 16-08-2018 12:50PM

Graces7 wrote: »

So for the gratification of what they crudely call in Liverpool, what s between his legs, he abandons a wife AND THREE YOUNG CHILDREN.

Eh ?

I think you'll find that's very much NOT a Liverpool saying!

erica74 · 16-08-2018 12:55PM

"just for sex"?

In my opinion sex is extremely important in any longterm relationship, particularly between people who want to spend the rest of their lives together. Sex isn't just about having an orgasm, it maintains the bond between a couple, it's intimacy that only you and your partner share.
I find it hard to put into words how important it is and how it should be a priority between couples.
I suppose "je ne sais quoi" is the only way to describe it.

That's not to say that I think all married couples are/should be having sex 3 times a night. When you're in a longterm relationship, there is so much more influencing your sex drive and your own physical "ability" (by this I mean, some days you're just fucking wrecked at the end of your day). Couples should be able to talk about their sex life and maintain it to a degree that pleases both and sometimes that may mean a "dry spell" because one of you is going through a difficult time.

Sardonicat · 16-08-2018 12:57PM

Cletoreyes50 wrote: »

optogirl wrote: »

Well I don't think ending your marriage and leaving the home that your 3 kids live in because you're not getting your rocks off is ballsy. It's cowardly. 'I'm not having as much fun here as I anticipated so I'll just give up'. Did he make any attempts to remedy the sex situation with his wife?

If anything the cowardly thing is to pretend everything is ok and let the lack of passionate sex slowly consume your sole.

Lack of passionate sex is not the kind of thing that consumes your soul. In a few years time your friend will know the kind of things that do. That's assuming he has a soul.

What would you do?

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