Dating apps and ladies over 35

PropBuyer101 · 29-06-2021 08:16PM

i think its astounding that people on here can judge a woman on an app who is a certain age, wants to meet someone and also happens to want kids. the backwards mentality of some of you. im sure you are very nice to your significant other but its no way to speak about women in general. if you spoke to your partner or about them that way and they heard you - they would tell you where to go!

Idle Passerby · 29-06-2021 08:20PM

PropBuyer101 wrote: »

i think its astounding that people on here can judge a woman on an app who is a certain age, wants to meet someone and also happens to want kids. the backwards mentality of some of you. im sure you are very nice to your significant other but its no way to speak about women in general. if you spoke to your partner or about them that way and they heard you - they would tell you where to go!

I doubt they have partners. If they did they'd presumably be aware that women aren't a homogenous group that all enter a feverish breeding frenzy if they haven't procreated by a certain age.

SupaCat95 · 29-06-2021 08:45PM

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

Presumably, you have some more recent research that this study to back up your claim about Clomid?
https://www.webmd.com/breast-cancer/news/20140403/fertility-drugs-may-not-raise-breast-cancer-risk-study

I'm not talking about family structure. I'm talking about terminology - using 'retard' is highly offensive to many people with intellectual disability, and using 'handicapped' isn't a whole lot better.

yeah well breast cancer numbers are up and there is a massive correlation between the two. Its a bit more than the report says. When you learn a little about the medical industry you will find you can "buy" almost any report.

Which do you think is more important, whether people are offended by the words retard/handicapped/autism/disability or that we have a functioning society? I am offended that you are offended.

29-06-2021 08:47PM

How come posts like this attract so many creepy posters.

PropBuyer101 · 29-06-2021 08:48PM

SupaCat95 wrote: »

yeah well breast cancer numbers are up and there is a massive correlation between the two. Its a bit more than the report says. When you learn a little about the medical industry you will find you can "buy" almost any report.

Which do you think is more important, whether people are offended by the words retard/handicapped/autism/disability or that we have a functioning society? I am offended that you are offended.

its not about being offended - its about being respectful to all humans and your discourse and lack of respect towards humans is completely atrocious. how dare you.

PropBuyer101 · 29-06-2021 08:49PM

mariaalice wrote: »

How come posts like this attract so many creepy posters.

because the entire pretense of this thread was creepy. CREEPS!!!

SupaCat95 · 29-06-2021 08:52PM

PropBuyer101 wrote: »

how dare you.

I shall see you at dawn with drawn pistols at 20 paces......

Wibbs · 29-06-2021 08:55PM

Idle Passerby wrote: »

I doubt they have partners. If they did they'd presumably be aware that women aren't a homogenous group that all enter a feverish breeding frenzy if they haven't procreated by a certain age.

:eek: NO way! Say it isn't so.

As far as the age thing goes I personally know a few women who've had kids between 38 and 44. All healthy. While yes the risks go up in older pregnancies, it's by how much is the thing. So if you said a woman at 35 has double the risk of having a bad outcome and a baby with condition A compared to a woman of 25, that sounds bad, but not if the risk at 25 is one in a thousand births. Fertility can certainly decline, but again that very much can depend on the woman(and man for that matter). Some conditions cause a drop in fertility and some lifestyle choices too. Or just pure dumb luck. Many years ago I knew a couple through friends who had been trying without success for a child, going through rounds of tests and all sorts of therapies to no end. It was extremely stressful and sadly in the end broke them up. However fast forward a couple of years and they both found new partners and lo and behold they both ended up with kids. Maybe deep down there was some incompatibility and their bodies(like hers) went Nope?

As for the dating ap profile. The women are being honest. Most women and men want kids at some stage. Better to be upfront about it.

And yes I have certainly seen a rush in some women as the 30's roll on and yes I've known a fair number to "settle" with guys they almost certainly wouldn't have previously and settle rapidly, and then the kids come along. One friend of mine told me straight that she was settling. Another that she was with the guy because she didn't want to be alone. Thing is though, of those I still know their marriages and partnerships don't appear to be any worse or better than the ones who had the full moon in June love stuff at the start. That stuff doesn't last that long for most anyway and you're left, or hopefully left with an adult that's mostly compatible with you, that you can work out life with and isn't a nutcase.

Wibbs · 29-06-2021 08:57PM

SupaCat95 wrote: »

I shall see you at dawn with drawn pistols at 20 paces......

Pistols be damned. I'm coming prepared.

750.jpg?cachebust=2020-09-08T15:31:33.000Z

29-06-2021 09:04PM

mariaalice wrote: »

How come posts like this attract so many creepy posters.

Point them out. I don't see it.

SupaCat95 · 29-06-2021 09:17PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Point them out. I don't see it.

Well there are a a few people pointing out a few home truths like:
You cant have your cake and eat it, being single up to 35 and then have prince charming just arrive and deliver everything for you in 12 months flat, (romance, engagement ring, house, marriage, baby and happily ever after) in that order.

Guys want to have kids after 40 by women who stonewalled them in their 20s-30s for not being good enough and now want babies.

Men arent excited by the prospected of building and buying a house and then be second class citizens as soon as the baby arrives or worse raising some other mans child.

YellowLead · 29-06-2021 09:28PM

I suspect that some of the aggressiveness towards women and tarring with the one brush is being fed by the bitterness of rejection, and small mindedness.

So what if there are women who would like a baby after 35? Not everybody meets somebody they love and can see themselves raising a child with right off the bat in their twenties.
Live and let live - if you don’t want to date such a lady then swipe on by. Jeez!

That is all.

PropBuyer101 · 29-06-2021 09:32PM

SupaCat95 wrote: »

Well there are a a few people pointing out a few home truths like:
You cant have your cake and eat it, being single up to 35 and then have prince charming just arrive and deliver everything for you in 12 months flat, (romance, engagement ring, house, marriage, baby and happily ever after) in that order.

Guys want to have kids after 40 by women who stonewalled them in their 20s-30s for not being good enough and now want babies.

Men arent excited by the prospected of building and buying a house and then be second class citizens as soon as the baby arrives or worse raising some other mans child.

When you say there are people trying to point out a few home truths – it seems more like you are trying to point out your home truths and your point of view of what a woman is like and what she needs and wants and desires at a certain age just because she happens to be on a dating app and dating and open to having kids.

Woman do not exist to be viewed from your point of view . They are not a mere blueprint of what your idea of a woman is - someone who reaches a certain age and needs to have a man and a baby and that is all that drives them instead of someone who may just want to have kids and meet a man- suddenly - this is all they want and they need YOU the man to provide it.

Excuse you - women are a distinct entity onto themselves and are not something that can only be seen by a man's eyes. Speaking about people - whether it is men or women in such a generalised manner is a useless proposition – because every person is an individual and you cant begin to imagine what one person is looking for over another.

As many commenters have mentioned or alluded to - there is a misogynistic attitude on this thread - by generalising women you are certainly not promoting any useful conversation rather you will just simply keep viewing women from your blueprint. And that is kind of boring.

Antares35 · 29-06-2021 09:36PM

Hannibal_12 wrote: »

... get married and then have kids the timelines are, shall we say, quite tight.

Who said it has to be in that order? The 1950s called asking where you are.

I met my fiancé online at 35. We've a toddler, and a baby on the way in a month. So the f*ck what. It isn't really anyone elses business. I sometimes think this whole "she's only after us for our swimmers" thing is a way for single guys to comfort themselves. It isn't that they're unwanted, no... they're just really clever not getting trapped by all the desperate cougars

Feisar · 29-06-2021 09:45PM

SupaCat95 wrote: »

Well there are a a few people pointing out a few home truths like:
You cant have your cake and eat it, being single up to 35 and then have prince charming just arrive and deliver everything for you in 12 months flat, (romance, engagement ring, house, marriage, baby and happily ever after) in that order.

Guys want to have kids after 40 by women who stonewalled them in their 20s-30s for not being good enough and now want babies.

Men arent excited by the prospected of building and buying a house and then be second class citizens as soon as the baby arrives or worse raising some other mans child.

Not picking out the poster but the type of mindset that appears to be prevalent.
What? There isn’t a war going on. Second class citizen? It’s actually third class, young lad is nr 1 herself nr 2 and then me. There are responsibilities associated with sitting at the head of the table.
Alot of funny attitudes on both sides here. It’s a home truth that a woman at 35 is up against the clock but the small man bitchiness is equally sad.

The One Doctor · 29-06-2021 10:16PM

A pregnancy over 35 is considered geriatric from a medical perspective, for good reason.

29-06-2021 10:27PM

A study on women in the US recently found that reproductive life span of women has increased from 35.0 to 37.1 years. They attributed it to girls getting periods earlier in life and entering menopause later in life.

https://www.contemporaryobgyn.net/view/trends-in-age-at-menopause-and-reproductive-life-span

ulster · 29-06-2021 10:28PM

Hannibal_12 wrote: »

Just browsing some dating apps and there seems to be a legion of women with desire to have kids "someday" which is fine obviously except most of these women are 37/38+ give or take even well into their 40s.
Only on dating apps due to obvious reasons and I'm surprised by it.

In china they call them left over women.

PropBuyer101 · 29-06-2021 10:35PM

ulster wrote: »

In china they call them left over women.

and men are bare branches

SupaCat95 · 29-06-2021 10:51PM

ulster wrote: »

In china they call them left over women.

Actually its really bad to be surplus woman in China where they have a SURPLUS of 5 million males. 5000,000 surplus and you couldnt find one in all of them? There was never an auld sock without an auld boot to go with it.

ulster · 29-06-2021 10:54PM

PropBuyer101 wrote: »

and men are bare branches

There's definitely a few bare " branches" in this forum ahahahaha

SupaCat95 · 29-06-2021 11:03PM

Feisar wrote: »

Not picking out the poster but the type of mindset that appears to be prevalent.
What? There isn’t a war going on. Second class citizen? It’s actually third class, young lad is nr 1 herself nr 2 and then me. There are responsibilities associated with sitting at the head of the table.
Alot of funny attitudes on both sides here. It’s a home truth that a woman at 35 is up against the clock but the small man bitchiness is equally sad.

Ahh but you are picking out me. Once a man gets married he looses the rights to half his assets. If the relationship fails he has to leave the family home, regardless if it was his fault or not.

"Small man bitchiness"? A bit harsh, there is nothing wrong with wanting to preserve your family wealth.

seenitall · 29-06-2021 11:55PM

Deleted User wrote: »

A study on women in the US recently found that reproductive life span of women has increased from 35.0 to 37.1 years. They attributed it to girls getting periods earlier in life and entering menopause later in life.

https://www.contemporaryobgyn.net/view/trends-in-age-at-menopause-and-reproductive-life-span

Here’s another interesting (and recent) study:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5403597/

It seems that the older woman is at birth of last child, the longer she is likely to live. So ladies, maybe hold off on following the advice upthread of shooting ‘em all out of the birth canal by 30, save some for later, just for your own sake!

Minime2.5 · 30-06-2021 12:08AM

PropBuyer101 wrote: »

When you say there are people trying to point out a few home truths – it seems more like you are trying to point out your home truths and your point of view of what a woman is like and what she needs and wants and desires at a certain age just because she happens to be on a dating app and dating and open to having kids.

Woman do not exist to be viewed from your point of view . They are not a mere blueprint of what your idea of a woman is - someone who reaches a certain age and needs to have a man and a baby and that is all that drives them instead of someone who may just want to have kids and meet a man- suddenly - this is all they want and they need YOU the man to provide it.

Excuse you - women are a distinct entity onto themselves and are not something that can only be seen by a man's eyes. Speaking about people - whether it is men or women in such a generalised manner is a useless proposition – because every person is an individual and you cant begin to imagine what one person is looking for over another.

As many commenters have mentioned or alluded to - there is a misogynistic attitude on this thread - by generalising women you are certainly not promoting any useful conversation rather you will just simply keep viewing women from your blueprint. And that is kind of boring.

Men are polygamous

They are attracted to youth and beauty and access to as many women that fits this criteria as possible

Women are Hypergamos

Whilst to some degree they are attracted to looks , other things such as wealth status and power are other contributing factors. Basically she is looking for the most high provisioning male she can get and if the opportunity to level up whilst shes already in a relationship most will take it

Whilst we all have our own individual minds and are unique at a conscious level at the subconscious level we are very much still animals and behave the same according to our sex at a very basic level

If this werent true then the topic of psychology wouldn't exist

30-06-2021 12:56AM

SupaCat95 wrote: »

There was never an auld sock without an auld boot to go with it.

I kinda disagree with your main point but that's a fucking great expression.

Tilden Katz · 30-06-2021 01:15AM

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm struggling to see the point of this thread. Women wanting kids and openly stating it is trapping someone? It's a valid thing to want in life, and it narrows down the interest they receive.

Indeed. I fail to see how baldly stating that one wants children is a bad thing. It might not happen for the woman but her being upfront about it can only be a good thing. If she’s meek about it then it definitely won’t happen. And let’s not forget that men can afford to have a more blasé attitude about baby-making. They can put if off for quite a while and then if the relationship goes kaput, they are much less screwed than the woman. A late 30s man coming out of a broken relationship has much more time.

Tilden Katz · 30-06-2021 01:19AM

Yurt! wrote: »

EDIT: And I think it bears repeating, this isn't wallowing or feeling sorry for men, but many women feel empowered in their 20s to treat men pretty awfully, and it doesn't really get picked up on in culture/literature/movies etc (men are untrustworthy hounds grrrr!). When the script gets flipped in their mid-30s (men's sexual appeal and desireability actually increases for the most part), many of these women aren't prepared for it.

For many men but certainly not for all. It’s taken as a given that men get better looking with age but men have to take care of themselves too and even then, it’s not guaranteed. I’m just thinking of my school year who would be 38ish now. It’s a decidedly mixed bag.

Tilden Katz · 30-06-2021 01:51AM

SupaCat95 wrote: »

Maths and sociology. Firstly female fertility declines after 26. Its all down hill from there. Kids take a lot of time and energy to raise, do you want to raising a teenager in your 60's?

Then to find a stable partner that hasnt a whole load of baggage with another family post 35 is fairly hard. You really want a guy who has another family or a string of failed relationships? Single at 35 plus, raises a lot of red flags for me like mental health or personality disorders.

Oh that single straight Engineer/Solicitor/Architect/Doctor/Accountant at 35 who is running marathons with the PhD, own house, can drive, with no mental health issues? That unicorn? He is looking at that fine Junior associate at 24.

Artificial insemination isnt the Mecca it is made out to be. The turkey baster for 1,500 is a waste of money and all the 7,500 treatment has the most success but not guaranteed. Also the fertility drug Clomid is linked to breast cancer after about 15 years later. Hence you have all these women in their 50s getting breast cancer in numbers we never saw before.

Moral of the story if you want a man, snag him in your 20's and be done with child birth before 30's.

You know, I would take being delusional on some of these points any day over having this thoroughly depressing worldview.

And don’t read my reply as defensiveness. I’m a late 30s woman in a stable, happy relationship who will never have children (when I was given the news that children wouldn’t be an option for me in my early 30s, it quickly confirmed that which I already knew but hadn’t quite clarified in my mind - that having children was something I didn’t give a crap about. Not a tear was shed).

But yeah, bloody hell, give me some cosy delusions any day over the nihilism of your post. And if your username is indicative of your birth year, that is very young to have allowed such world-weariness to seep into your being. I don’t even know if you are male or female and I think you are going to end up holding yourself back with such an outlook. I look at the great relationships I have seen form between 30-somethings in my friend and acquaintance groups and think how many of them wouldn’t have happened if they adopted your philosophy.

And one thing that hasn’t come up much in this thread is that in many of those relationships, the woman has the higher paid or ritzier job. There’s actually been a fairly retrograde current running through this thread where women are trying to entrap highly paid men instead of being the highly paid person themselves.

Feisar · 30-06-2021 08:18AM

SupaCat95 wrote: »

Ahh but you are picking out me. Once a man gets married he looses the rights to half his assets. If the relationship fails he has to leave the family home, regardless if it was his fault or not.

"Small man bitchiness"? A bit harsh, there is nothing wrong with wanting to preserve your family wealth.

Fair, the family home plus wealth issue is hardly women’s fault though.

SnuggyBear · 30-06-2021 08:26AM

PropBuyer101 wrote: »

are you for real? apparently so you can read the mind and intentions of any woman on this app who is a certain age and hoping to achieve certain things.

u must be a joy to date lol

Well you can only go off what the profile says. If it says she wants kids I would presume she wants kids and a relationship. No mind reading involved.

Dating apps and ladies over 35

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