Would the Original Trilogy have survived modern reviews?

I’m not suggesting the Sequel Trilogy is anywhere near the Original movies, but many of the same criticisms could be levelled at it if these movies were subjected to the same barrage of media/fan scrutiny, would the Original movies have survived today’s reviews.

Not to take this thread too seriously, here’s a satirical ‘what if’ review if the original movies had been the ones released by Disney.

Star Wars - So bad, they had to give it a new name ‘A New Hope’. It’s an unoriginal remake/ripoff of Kurosawa’s Hidden Fortress. There’s a male ‘Mary Sue’ who learns magic in 5 minutes and uses it to blow up a space station with one shot.

Empire Strikes Back - Ryan, sorry, Kershner takes all the story lines established in the first movie and throws them all out. The hero of the first movie is turned into a grumpy recluse who eventually shows up to help his endangered friends, after they’ve figured their own way out of the trap they’re in. And that twist about Skywalker’s parentage destroys Alec Guinness’ once noble knight and instead turns him into a lying manipulator.

Return of the Jedi - Faced with the fan backlash following Empire, Lucas brings in Marquand who plays it safe and comes up with story designed to repair the damage caused in the previous movie. Obi Wan is brought back purely to say he didn’t really tell lies in the first movie, but he was just economical with the truth. Yoda’s ‘the other hope’ tease from Empire is unceremoniously dumped and previous love interest Leia is now installed as Skywalker’s sister, rendering their previous encounters as now some very dodgy kissing and hugging moments. Oh, and they bring this old guy in a hood with no backstory out of nowhere who Luke has to defeat in 5 minutes to save the day.

In summary, an utter mess, where it’s clear there was no plan for this trilogy, it’s full of plot holes and contradictions unlike the carefully planned and executed Prequel Trilogy.