What are people’s thoughts

mollllll · 16-07-2021 9:10pm #1

So I don’t want to give away my opinion and get any biased answers so I will explain the issue and give the sample people 2 names (Ann and barry)

so Ann and Barry live with Ann’s parents. They are in their late 20s. Barry is working in a minimum wage job, working 30-35 hours a week. They applied for working family payment for Ann and Ann received €100. Barry saved all his money and ann used hers to pay some bills and for whatever else. Barry is very sensible with money saving loads while Ann likes to spend (but not too much but Barry won’t let Ann spend as he wants to save his money) Ann was struggling but got a contract job paying €28,000 salary and the contract is for 3 months. Barry and Ann are fighting over who should get the €100. Barry feels Ann is getting more money now so he should get it to make it fair and Ann feels that it’s her money cos she applied for it and it was paid for her and her job is only temporary. Who should get the €100…?

mollllll · 16-07-2021 9:11pm

New post above

Hannibal_Smith · 17-07-2021 8:16am

They applied for working family payment for Ann and Ann received €100.

Going on the assumption, you're one of the parties described above, I would say the payment was applied for for Ann and is going to Ann. It's hers.

Are you saving together for something? Because ultimately you both need to have a conversation about money and come to an agreement about how much each of you should contribute towards savings and how much you both have to spend.

YellowLead · 17-07-2021 8:21am

I’m not sure that it should be the case that either of you ‘gets’ it per se. It sounds like it’s a payment to help with the cost of childcare or raising kids in general so shouldn’t it just go towards that - whoever manages the household budget?

JPup · 17-07-2021 8:22am

Well I don’t see how Barry has any claim to the money in a legal sense but if this pair is supposed to be a couple planning towards a future together then they should try to share more and squabble less. Sorry if that sounds condescending but the whole situation seems quite childish to me.

17-07-2021 9:16am

There's a lot you haven't clarified here:

Are Ann and Barry partners with a child? As far as I know, WFP is for people with a child, so I would have thought the money would be spent on the child's expenses.
If Ann normally spends her payment on bills, then I'd see that as benefiting the couple (unless it's a personal mobile bill). So it's not like she's been spending it on herself up to this point, right?
How do they normally organise their finances?

If a couple are living together, there's two main ways to organise your finances. Either you each keep your money separate, do what you like with it, and split all shared costs at an agreed ratio. In which case the money is Ann's and there's no cause for her to share it with Barry. Second option is to have a joint account, where you agree a certain amount (or all) of your money will go into each month, and agree which payments should be paid for jointly. In which case, the money would be joint and go on joint expenses. In either scenario, the money doesn't ever become Barry's.

It's all well and good wanting to save money, but saying you're entitled to a welfare payment that your partner receives just to put it away in savings doesn't sound like a great relationship choice. I wonder, when Barry was making more than Ann, what concessions was he making for her since she was earning less? Pocket money? Handling joint expenses? Probably not.

17-07-2021 9:25am

Barry to get the €100, but Barry pays €100 rent.

Seriously, this does not bode well. This is a symptom/warning sign.

And the €100 is for the kid, work backwards from there.

Even when someone tries to be unbiased, it doesn't usually work. ^^^ you're not in Barry's camp.

mohawk · 17-07-2021 9:33am

The €100 is for the child. So whoever manages the bills and spending for the child should get it. Legally it’s Ann’s and she is on a shot term contract so may be back to nothing in three months.

if a couple can’t agree on how to manage money this signifies a lack of trust from one or both parties.

mollllll · 17-07-2021 12:43pm

Thank you so much everyone, I know it’s such a childish situation. Ann and Barry are both close to me but I won’t say who’s side I’m on. They asked for my opinion but both are still adamant that they are right. I showed this to them and Barry’s argument was that although Ann applied for the working family payment, the €100 gets paid into HIS bank account for Ann as he is the one working and WFP is paid to the person working. So it’s his…

17-07-2021 12:54pm

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117623680#Comment_117623680

This is semantics on Barry's part.

He IS NOT the family, the family is. The family qualify because one of them is working, but his working is not the only qualifier, it's because there is a family.

If Barry is taking this money and squirreling it away then that is not the spirit of the arrangement. 'You must have at least one child who normally lives with you or [B]who you support financially[/B].' Supporting is still implied in the Normally living with bit.

BUT, this is the least of Anne's worries. This is a symptom not the full illness.

What rent is Barry paying?

They need to update the Barry and Anne reader. It's so disappointing to learn Barry turned into such a gobshite.

mollllll · 17-07-2021 12:58pm

And yes Ann was using it to pay bills (car bills for car they share, health costs, school costs) and had nearly no money leftover. But Barry’s argument is that she’ll have plenty of money now to pay the bills without needed the €100. Barry is now suggesting it goes into a joint account but Ann doesn’t like Barry controlling it like that. Ann thinks they can make a joint account but it shouldn’t be about just that €100, she feels it is Barry’s way of claiming it.

Janedoe10 · 17-07-2021 1:00pm

is This a partnership? One saves ALL “his” money cause it’s his .

one does pay some bills . If that 100 goes to household budget is that rent ? Does Ann’s parents get some contribution.

they both need to properly talk about budgets and what it means to work together. One can’t say I am a saver great cause it sounds if I don’t step up and pay towards bills not my worry some one else takes care.

u are dragged into this unfortunate yes that I have to listen to each who think both are right .

17-07-2021 1:04pm

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117623730#Comment_117623730

Who has access to Barry's savings? I'm guessing just Barry. Hmm.

One solution. They both keep their own separate bank accounts. They have a joint bank account that is for joint bills, food, baby expenses. The €100 gets deposited in there. They then fund it separately to meet their joint needs. Barry then can save up his running away money to his heart's content.

Janedoe10 · 17-07-2021 1:06pm

It gets better . The 100 should be returned as Barry is NOT a child . The money is cause there are kids involved. It’s neither of theirs to keep . I’m sure kids shoes/clothes etc will devour that 100 quick enough.

https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/social_welfare_payments_to_families_and_children/family_income_supplement.html#

17-07-2021 1:12pm

WFP is a payment made to support families on low income - it is not paid for one person only. Neither of them "own" it. Anne was just the applicant.

But, as the applicant, Anne can get in touch with social welfare and get the payment changed so it is made into her bank account if Barry is being a dick about it. As far as I know she can do this on MyGov.ie.

The whole "who owns it" argument is ridiculous, and doesn't bode well. If they are supposed to be a family, then all income is family income, regardless of the source.

Big Bag of Chips · 17-07-2021 10:17pm

Barry saves all his money, and Ann uses her money to pay bills and whatever else etc? And you're living with Ann's parents? With children of your own?

I'd say Ann's parents own the €100 and Barry needs to start paying his way.

18-07-2021 2:49am

Ann and Barry need to put away the crayons and grow up.

That €100 should be the first money spent on anything the child/children need.

Everything else they earn together should be going into a single pot until they build up a 'float' of X thousand.

That pot gets spent in line with an agreed budget, nothing else.

Barry and Ann have to decide if they're doing this for the long term. If they are, both need to understand that they have a part to play and that equality in the relationship does not mean parity in income. Whatever they earn should be pooled and used to provide for their family first, including family savings, then and only then, personal savings.

If they can't trust each other to work out a budget and stick to it, always, this won't work in the long term.

They have to sort this out now. Ann, the extra earned now is not for spending now. Barry, the €100 isn't for you to put in your savings. Cop on to yourselves.

Jequ0n · 18-07-2021 5:56pm

I'd suggest using the 100 as an initial payment for a savings fund for the child's future therapy.

Big Bag of Chips · 19-07-2021 12:06pm

If Barry is working minimum wage and saves all his money, how does he eat? Who pays for a roof over his head? Who buys his child(ren) the things the need, food, clothes, toys, Christmas etc? The €100 isn't supposed to be something to be squirreled away in savings. It's supposed to help families on low income wages to live. If Barry can afford for the €100 to be tucked away and not used for the family then they are receiving €100 that they don't need.

Barry seems to think spending any money is frivolous (easy for him to think that when someone else's family is supporting him).

Ann is using her money to provide for her family. Barry seems to expect everyone else to provide for him.

Why is he only working a minimum wage job? Has he any desire to progress from the minimum wage role? He has a family now and needs to consider providing for them. He is lucky to be in a position where family can help. But I hope all this saving he's doing is towards their own rent/mortgage.

And if he's not contributing to day-to-day expenses then he has no right to the €100 which is provided to low income families for day-to-day expenses.

Kimbot · 19-07-2021 12:10pm

Best thing to do is to leave the 100 as is and if Ann is serious about her and Barry then with her wage she should put some of that towards savings just like barry is....... it should really be considered "theirs" and used to support their family.

Meeoow · 19-07-2021 2:04pm

Are ye still entitled to wfp if both working? That might put ye over the threshold.

19-07-2021 2:19pm

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117632282#Comment_117632282

I think its assessed on a yearly basis. €28k for three months shouldn't have much impact.

Big Bag of Chips · 19-07-2021 7:55pm

"Barry won’t let Ann spend as he wants to save his money"

Barry sounds like he's getting dangerously close to financially controlling/abusing Ann. This €100 is just a symptom of that.

sporina · 19-07-2021 11:27pm

Do they have a child?

20-07-2021 4:59am

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117635113#Comment_117635113

Besides Barry?

It's a requirement to get the SW they are receiving.

sporina · 20-07-2021 10:41am

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117635441#Comment_117635441

you have to have a child to get WFP

In any event, the payment is for the "family" not one or the other.. and its definitely meant for squirrelling away - this is our tax he is intending to hoard away

MissShihTzu · 20-07-2021 11:22am

It's not BARRY's money. It's not ANN's money. That money is for the child to help with expenses such as daycare and school clothes.

If you ask me, Barry sounds entitled, and I think he has a cheek even asking for it. He lives with her parents, saves his money (presumably for a house) and she spends her 3 month contract money on bills and such like. OK...

Hmm_Messiah · 20-07-2021 2:30pm

I don't see how this is a "personal issue" as per the forum ? rather than just a de facto poll on people who have not posted here themselves

If it is YOUR personal issue, in as much as you are asked to be involved, then simply give YOUR view, that's what they would be looking for , not sundries on a forum

sporina · 20-07-2021 11:39pm

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117637452#Comment_117637452

so what forum would you suggest?

Hannibal_Smith · 21-07-2021 7:20am

Mod Note

We can't move threads at the moment folks.

That said, the OP has plenty of advice on how to deal with the matter with his friends and on what the payment is actually for. As the issue is impacting friends as opposed to the OP themselves we can't help them resolve it, so this time I will close it.

Thanks everyone who took the time to help the OP.

HS

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