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Porn addiction - Who can I get help from?

  • 03-05-2009 04:50PM
    #1
    kevogy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 189 ✭✭


    numbers, names, addresses - anything at all, preferably in the midlands, and im 17


Comments

  • #2
    Davy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,340 CMod ✭✭✭✭Davy


    http://www.csa-addictions.ie/


  • #3
    GiftofGab
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,473 ✭✭✭GiftofGab


    Are you sure your addicted?? Your only 17, its completely natural. It's actually unnattural to not look at porn at your age.


  • #4
    3hn2givr7mx1sc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,838 ✭✭✭✭3hn2givr7mx1sc


    How are you sure you're addicted??


  • #5
    Gyalist
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Gyalist


    GiftofGab wrote: »
    Are you sure your addicted?? Your only 17, its completely natural. It's actually unnattural to not look at porn at your age.
    Phoenix Whispering Panda wrote: »
    How are you sure you're addicted??

    The OP isn't asking for opinions on whether or not he is addicted. If he feels that he has a problem that's all that matters.


  • #6
    GiftofGab
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,473 ✭✭✭GiftofGab


    Gyalist wrote: »
    The OP isn't asking for opinions on whether or not he is addicted. If he feels that he has a problem that's all that matters.

    Yeah but we could potentially save the OP money if he's not addicted. Where ever he goes for treatment they wil ask him the same questions.


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  • #7
    Gyalist
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Gyalist


    Are you seriously saying that you are able to diagnose an addiction online by just asking a few questions?


  • #8
    O'Coonassa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,318 ✭✭✭O'Coonassa


    Is it really interfering with your life?


    Here's the diagnostic criteria

    Goodman compared the DSM criteria lists for various addictive disorders and derived these general characteristics:
    • Recurrent failure to resist impulses to engage in a specified behavior
    • Increasing sense of tension immediately prior to initiating the behavior
    • Pleasure or relief at the time of engaging in the behavior
    • At least five of the following:
      • Frequent preoccupation with the behavior or with activity that is preparatory to the behavior
      • Frequent engaging in the behavior to a greater extent or over a longer period than intended
      • Repeated efforts to reduce, control, or stop the behavior
      • A great deal of time spent in activities necessary for the behavior, engaging in the behavior, or recovering from its effects
      • Frequent engaging in the behavior when expected to fulfill occupational, academic, domestic or social obligations
      • Important social, occupational, or recreational activities given up or reduced because of the behavior
      • Continuation of the behavior despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent social, financial, psychological, or physical problem that is caused or exacerbated by the behavior
      • Tolerance: need to increase the intensity or frequency of the behavior in order to achieve the desired effect, or diminished effect with continued behavior of the same intensity
      • Restlessness or irritability if unable to engage in the behavior
    • Some symptoms of the disturbance have persisted for at least one month, or have occurred repeatedly over a longer period of time

    If you really think you fit the bill you should set up an internet filter that blocks porn and when it asks you to input a password close your eyes and mash the keyboard with your fist and hit enter. Now you can't get to it.


  • #9
    allabouteve
    Closed Accounts Posts: 844 ✭✭✭allabouteve


    GiftofGab wrote: »
    Yeah but we could potentially save the OP money if he's not addicted. Where ever he goes for treatment they wil ask him the same questions.

    Being asked about his problem by a trained therapist and being asked by some random guy on the intetnet are two completely different things.

    You aren't qualified to diagnose his addiction or otherwise.


  • #10
    O'Coonassa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,318 ✭✭✭O'Coonassa


    allabouteve wrote: »

    You aren't qualified to diagnose his addiction or otherwise.

    Indeed and there's a huge debate in the literature about whether or not a preoccupation with porn actually even counts as an addiction. Heroin it aint.


  • #11
    kevogy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 189 ✭✭kevogy


    GiftofGab wrote: »
    Are you sure your addicted?? Your only 17, its completely natural. It's actually unnattural to not look at porn at your age.


    the fact is i dont look at it very often, mabye once every 1-2 weeks, but its he fact that i get deppressed and saddened every time i do it, and i tried many ways to stop but it always back to square 1


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  • #12
    dny123456
    Closed Accounts Posts: 431 ✭✭dny123456


    op, i wouldn't worry unduly about looking at something every 1 or 2 weeks.

    Is it 'normal' porn? or is it the type of porn that you're drawn to, that concerns?


  • #13
    O'Coonassa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,318 ✭✭✭O'Coonassa


    kevogy wrote: »
    the fact is i dont look at it very often, mabye once every 1-2 weeks, but its he fact that i get deppressed and saddened every time i do it, and i tried many ways to stop but it always back to square 1

    You're not in any sense addicted kevogy. Sounds like you're just experiencing good old fashioned Catholic guilt for doing something you've been taught to regard as 'dirty'.

    At 17 your sex drive is the highest it will ever be in your entire life. In the absence of an actual girl to have regular sex with several times a day what you're doing is entirely normal. You shouldn't be so down on yourself, it's just a part of human sexuality. There isn't a male connected to the internet who hasn't used porn and any that say they don't are absolute liars. The good deal of traffic on the networks is actually porn content. Look here on google trends. As you can see our own country is number one in the list....there's plenty of Irishmen using it far more than every 1-2 weeks.


  • #14
    waraf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,326 ✭✭✭waraf


    O'Coonassa wrote: »
    Look here on google trends. As you can see our own country is number one in the list....there's plenty of Irishmen using it far more than every 1-2 weeks.

    *chants* We're number one. We're number one!! :):)

    Seriously though OP, once every 1 or 2 weeks is not an addiction. There may be other reasons in your life as to why you feel down when you look at naked ladies but it's not porn addiction.


  • #15
    kevogy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 189 ✭✭kevogy


    waraf wrote: »

    Seriously though OP, once every 1 or 2 weeks is not an addiction. There may be other reasons in your life as to why you feel down when you look at naked ladies but it's not porn addiction.


    wel... mabye but this has been goin on for a long time, when i was 11 i found a hardcore magazine by accident, the we got broadband etc etc,

    it might not be an addiction, but i still cant resist going back to it again and again


  • #16
    waraf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,326 ✭✭✭waraf


    kevogy wrote: »
    wel... mabye but this has been goin on for a long time, when i was 11 i found a hardcore magazine by accident, the we got broadband etc etc,

    it might not be an addiction, but i still cant resist going back to it again and again

    There's nothing wrong with porn mate. There's a very prudish attitude towards sex in this country and we really need to get over our catholic guilt and have a more continental attitude to sex. If you go abroad the attitude to sex is that it's a natural thing and people aren't embarassed to talk openly about it which is the way it should be. Porn is big business and loads and loads of people look at it regularly so you've no problem on that front. The question is, why do you feel sad when you look at it? Are you sad because you think the ladies depicted in porn are being exploited or are you feeling sad/depressed cause you're not getting laid or is it something else entitrely?


  • #17
    Otaku Girl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 145 ✭✭Otaku Girl


    kevogy wrote: »
    wel... mabye but this has been goin on for a long time, when i was 11 i found a hardcore magazine by accident, the we got broadband etc etc,

    it might not be an addiction, but i still cant resist going back to it again and again

    Of course you can't.Humans have evolved to have a persistent sex drive.It's a good and beneficial thing.That's why elderly people still have a sex drive even after they're to old to reproduce or gay people have a sex drive even though they they are unlikely to reproduce.If it were not this way we would died out along time ago.As others have said ones sex drive is highest at your age.Now,unless it's illegal or fetishistic porn I would say you're worrying over nothing and looking at erotica/porn a few times a forthnight is less than average I would imagine,especially at your age.


  • #18
    herya
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,571 ✭✭✭herya


    GiftofGab wrote: »
    Your only 17, its completely natural. It's actually unnattural to not look at porn at your age.

    That's a hugely sweeping statement.

    There is a difference between looking at and it affecting your life in a bad way. If the OP feels that's the case, you can either contribute with useful addresses or leave him be.


  • #19
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Take it from me lad, whether or not you are actually addicted, now is the time to stop it before it takes a hold. There are 2 American based websites

    www.no-porn.com - this will give you all you need to know about the addiction, from the addicts perspective to the significant others, its a discussion forum/support board.

    www.recoverynation.com - this is a (less-strict) support board that also has lessons to work on each day as you recover. The founder died yesterday (of a heart attack god rest him) though, so it will be a bit of an upheaval for new members at moment.

    Some of the replies above cast pornography as normal and something every guy (or girl, they do exist as no-porn.com will show you) engages in. Its this attitude that allows it to fester in the first place. If your not addicted, stay away from it. If you are, check those 2 links.

    Cheers.


  • #20
    AARRRGH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    Try to think about porn rationally:

    1. Nudity is natural.
    2. Sex is natural.
    3. Arousal is natural.
    4. Seeking sexual pleasure is natural, whether this be through sex or masturbation.

    Using the above logic, there is nothing wrong with wanting to look at images or videos of people having sex, and there is nothing wrong with getting turned on by those images and videos. There is also nothing wrong with masturbating when you are turned on.

    If you want to stop looking at porn, that's fine, but make sure you are doing it for the right reasons -- not because the Catholic church and other extremists want you to associate sexual pleasure with guilt.


  • #21
    stephen_n
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,920 ✭✭✭✭stephen_n


    To be honest there sounds like underlying issues here that have nothing to do with porn. Internet forums are good for general information but probably not the best for working through issues that are obviously causing you discomfort on a psychological level. You should look up local counseling services i your area there should be some form of free counseling if you are near a big town and it would of course be totally confidential. I don't know what your realtionship with your GP is like but if your feel comfortable doing it then you should ask them to point you in the right direction.


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  • #22
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    stephen_n wrote: »
    To be honest there sounds like underlying issues here that have nothing to do with porn. Internet forums are good for general information but probably not the best for working through issues that are obviously causing you discomfort on a psychological level. You should look up local counseling services i your area there should be some form of free counseling if you are near a big town and it would of course be totally confidential. I don't know what your realtionship with your GP is like but if your feel comfortable doing it then you should ask them to point you in the right direction.

    +1
    If you are feeling uncomfortable around this then you are doing the right thing in seeking professional help. It might be for addition or for something else. Too much of anything is a bad thing - just ask those "larger" Ryan Air passengers with the new excess fee...


  • #23
    herya
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,571 ✭✭✭herya


    AARRRGH wrote: »
    Using the above logic, there is nothing wrong with wanting to look at images or videos of people having sex, and there is nothing wrong with getting turned on by those images and videos. There is also nothing wrong with masturbating when you are turned on.

    If you want to stop looking at porn, that's fine, but make sure you are doing it for the right reasons -- not because the Catholic church and other extremists want you to associate sexual pleasure with guilt.

    That's all fine but what you describe is not an addiction, it's just standard porn usage, nothing wrong with it as long as it's kept under control.

    An addicted person will not be able to function at work/school etc because of obsessive porn related thoughts, will not be interested in real life sexual partners (ie not looking for girlfriends as they don't look like porn queens), in extreme cases will shun all social & outdoor activity in favour of porn watching/masturbation or engage compulsively in advanced online activities (often paid so money issues might appear), etc.

    Porn shouldn't make you feel bad. Maybe you're just not ready for it. Maybe you had a shock at 11.

    Really depends on what's happening to you OP.


  • #24
    AARRRGH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    herya wrote: »
    That's all fine but what you describe is not an addiction, it's just standard porn usage, nothing wrong with it as long as it's kept under control.

    The OP only looks at porn every 1 or 2 weeks though. I don't think that would really qualify as an 'addiction', although obviously I'm no expert!

    It sounds more like he's suffering from guilt.

    In my opinion, he should sort out the guilt, rather than stop looking at porn.


  • #25
    herya
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,571 ✭✭✭herya


    That's true. He might be looking once a week though and obsessing for the remaining 6 days, wrecking his head. It's good to have some options and people to talk to to sort it out.


  • #26
    AARRRGH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    Yeah, I think he should talk to someone, but I think it should be someone who is neither pro nor anti porn. Which might be difficult.


  • #27
    stephen_n
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,920 ✭✭✭✭stephen_n


    AARRRGH wrote: »
    Yeah, I think he should talk to someone, but I think it should be someone who is neither pro nor anti porn. Which might be difficult.

    A good counsellor should be neither pro nor anti anything except choice!


  • #28
    T Corolla
    Closed Accounts Posts: 611 ✭✭✭T Corolla


    I think that the OP is bored and is feeling guilty by looking at porn on a seldom basis. You are seventeen you have hormones running through your body and you cannot control what these hormones cause to your physical and mental being. You need to bring this out into the open and tell someone like an older brother. You cannot help what has happened but you should try and curb watching it as IMO it can be mentally damaging to him later in life as he may expect the same from relationships and he probably may not be able to have a full and loving relationship. The first thing you can do for yourself is find some companionship and try and relate to the other person from a non sexual stance at the start and I believe this will curb your fascination. I believe pornography is like gambling it is addictive as the return we get makes us come back for more. I am glad the OP has the guilt scene after watching it and finally whoever the OP seeks help from the will understand and help but I do not think a councilor is need at this early stage just an understanding parent


  • #29
    T Corolla
    Closed Accounts Posts: 611 ✭✭✭T Corolla


    They say 60% of the internet is porn related. The main thing with this boy is he is seventeen he needs someone girl to occupy him he needs to bed his sexuality in a living breathing human not a computer generated image that gives the same nutrition as instant oatmeal good for an hour but your are back for more. His young innocent mind is been played by the porn


  • #30
    Otaku Girl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 145 ✭✭Otaku Girl


    T Corolla wrote: »
    They say 60% of the internet is porn related. The main thing with this boy is he is seventeen he needs someone girl to occupy him he needs to bed his sexuality in a living breathing human not a computer generated image that gives the same nutrition as instant oatmeal good for an hour but your are back for more. His young innocent mind is been played by the porn

    I would take it further and say that sex without emotional content is akin to 3-D masturbation.But that's just me.


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  • #31
    T Corolla
    Closed Accounts Posts: 611 ✭✭✭T Corolla


    You are in an analytical frame of mind tonight but you have a good point


  • #32
    O'Coonassa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,318 ✭✭✭O'Coonassa


    waraf wrote: »
    *chants* We're number one. We're number one!! :):)

    They forbid a thing so natural and make it seem 'dirty' and a) it becomes more attractive and b) it engenders guilt and so people go around feeling guilty, and people who feel guilty will never get up and protest their lot because their faith in themselves is destroyed, and so they can be led around by the nose more easy. That's the Roman system. In control at a school near you lol


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