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Need your advice ladies

  • 06-06-2009 10:45am
    #1
    shamblertine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 888 ✭✭✭


    theres a girl at work who I really like the look of. She works in a different floor to me but I see her about the corridors/entrance/canteen sometimes, but I can never think of anything to say to her that isn't completely boring like "nice weather today" or some drivel like that. Can anyone give me any good opening lines or anything to help break the ice?


Comments

  • #2
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,301 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Moved here from the ladies lounge as that's not the place to be asking.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • #3
    Beth1978
    Closed Accounts Posts: 60 ✭✭Beth1978


    How about organising after work drinks with a few colleagues, then accidentally on purpose bump into her in the canteen and ask if she'd like to go along. Its a group situation so she won't think its a date yet it gives you the opportunity to start up a conversation that isn't weather related.

    If thats not a goer find out something about what she likes doing, maybe from someone she works with and strike up a conversation about that. Or instead of the weather question, ask her how her wk/nd was, this will definitely lead into more conversation cos if she's a polite girl she'll ask you back and hey presto, more than two sentences have been uttered.

    Don't give up if you like her. I know if a guy liked me I'd be thrilled to bits so good luck!


  • #4
    myusernameis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43 ✭myusernameis


    You could ask something like "Having a good day" or something like on Friday "thank God its Friday" then just introduce yourself, try not to think of it any different than you would chat a bar scene, just aim for being friendly.

    Now im most likely positive she wont just blank you, but if you think she is acting defensive no keep pushing her for conversation.

    Then slowly built up these conversations and then ask her would she like to go for a drink after work!

    You'll be grand, but maybe dont ask her out in the same conversation it might just scare her a bit! but i dont that could be just me!


  • #5
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    A work night out is the best pleace to start. Not as much pressure as if it were just the two of you


  • #6
    legend365
    Closed Accounts Posts: 460 ✭✭legend365


    shamblertine wrote: »
    but I can never think of anything to say to her that isn't completely boring like "nice weather today" or some drivel like that.

    If shes nice and polite, thats all it takes to start up a big convo.

    Just don't say it on a rainy monday.


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  • #7
    tolteq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 495 ✭✭tolteq


    shamblertine wrote: »
    theres a girl at work who I really like the look of. She works in a different floor to me but I see her about the corridors/entrance/canteen sometimes, but I can never think of anything to say to her that isn't completely boring like "nice weather today" or some drivel like that. Can anyone give me any good opening lines or anything to help break the ice?

    i think its bad vibes to ask a woman out from your workplace. how unprofessional. just ask yourself this question before you do anything about it.

    what if it goes wrong. and then you have to see her everyday.


  • #8
    Beth1978
    Closed Accounts Posts: 60 ✭✭Beth1978


    tolteq wrote: »
    i think its bad vibes to ask a woman out from your workplace. how unprofessional. just ask yourself this question before you do anything about it.

    what if it goes wrong. and then you have to see her everyday.

    Don't you think thats a little bit harsh? This girl could be the girl of his dreams, shouldn't he at least try and chat to her a little bit to see if they get on? I know a few couples who met through work and they are happy out so it does work for some people.
    Plus he said he works on a different floor to her so its not like they're in the same department. And if they're both mature adults and things don't work out(hoping that he gets a date in the first place), shouldn't they be able to pass each other in the hallway and say hello without having to ignore one another.
    I hope I'm not being rude but I just wanted to say that work relationships have happened for some people.


  • #9
    tolteq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 495 ✭✭tolteq


    Beth1978 wrote: »
    Don't you think thats a little bit harsh? This girl could be the girl of his dreams, shouldn't he at least try and chat to her a little bit to see if they get on? I know a few couples who met through work and they are happy out so it does work for some people.
    Plus he said he works on a different floor to her so its not like they're in the same department. And if they're both mature adults and things don't work out(hoping that he gets a date in the first place), shouldn't they be able to pass each other in the hallway and say hello without having to ignore one another.
    I hope I'm not being rude but I just wanted to say that work relationships have happened for some people.

    no your a very polite person. i'm impressed.

    well i recall some people posting on here about how work r/ships went bad. there was one poor girl who was pregnant by her boss i think. i just have the feeling that when your doing work. you should focus on your work, and leave the socialising to alternative places / hours. there are so many single people in this city who go out for a night on the town on a saturday night.

    like sure. i guess i could say to the OP to say x y and z to get the attention of that girl. what happens if she has a bf and then he is disappointed. i reckon its better not to go down that road at all.


    but OP, if you choose to chase her. here is my advice. find out who she hangas around with. her girl friends in there and u can say to some of them. hey who is your friend. she is hot. and they will most likely say it to her. cos some girls gossip. and then if u notice yourselves looking at each other, then u can ask her.


  • #10
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    tolteq wrote: »
    like sure. i guess i could say to the OP to say x y and z to get the attention of that girl. what happens if she has a bf and then he is disappointed. i reckon its better not to go down that road at all.
    Any different to a pub?
    tolteq wrote: »
    but OP, if you choose to chase her. here is my advice. find out who she hangas around with. her girl friends in there and u can say to some of them. hey who is your friend. she is hot. and they will most likely say it to her. cos some girls gossip. and then if u notice yourselves looking at each other, then u can ask her.
    This is just my opinion but she might appreciate a bit more straightforwardness and bravery(?), that doesn't sound quite right but confidence goes a long way or so I'm told.


  • #11
    suspectpackage
    Closed Accounts Posts: 173 ✭✭suspectpackage


    don't focus on opening lines. focus on having a normal conversation. Say whatever you want and just be yourself. Ask her how is her day and then talk about yours, move into other topics from there. Its pretty easy to be talkative. Stop thinking about it and just do it. Too much thinking.


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  • #12
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    tolteq wrote: »
    no your a very polite person. i'm impressed.

    well i recall some people posting on here about how work r/ships went bad. there was one poor girl who was pregnant by her boss i think. i just have the feeling that when your doing work. you should focus on your work, and leave the socialising to alternative places / hours. there are so many single people in this city who go out for a night on the town on a saturday night.

    like sure. i guess i could say to the OP to say x y and z to get the attention of that girl. what happens if she has a bf and then he is disappointed. i reckon its better not to go down that road at all.


    but OP, if you choose to chase her. here is my advice. find out who she hangas around with. her girl friends in there and u can say to some of them. hey who is your friend. she is hot. and they will most likely say it to her. cos some girls gossip. and then if u notice yourselves looking at each other, then u can ask her.


    OP if you're older than 18 , don't listen to this person, very immature advise. if you like the girl just talk to her and see how it goes. You could start by giving her a nod and saying hi whenever you see her


  • #13
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I think you should smile, be polite to her, introduce yourself and ask her how her weekend went as an ice breaker. Afterall if she is as nice as you think she is, I am positive she will really appreciate the bravery it takes for you to approach her.

    I work in a large company and too like a guy on a different floor and know he is interested as he stares at me all the time when he sees me yet he doesn't try to strike up a conversation which is absolutely frustrating!

    What I am trying to say is go for it - nothing worse than not knowing


  • #14
    Monkeybonkers
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,786 ✭✭✭Monkeybonkers


    Unregistered wrote: »
    I think you should smile, be polite to her, introduce yourself and ask her how her weekend went as an ice breaker. Afterall if she is as nice as you think she is, I am positive she will really appreciate the bravery it takes for you to approach her.

    I work in a large company and too like a guy on a different floor and know he is interested as he stares at me all the time when he sees me yet he doesn't try to strike up a conversation which is absolutely frustrating!

    What I am trying to say is go for it - nothing worse than not knowing


    Hi Unregistered, why don't you go and start a conversation with this guy? Hey presto, end of frustration! :)


  • #15
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Monkeybonkers wrote: »
    Hi Unregistered, why don't you go and start a conversation with this guy? Hey presto, end of frustration! :)

    Why should she? I'm sure she has plenty of other guys staring at her when they walk by, and if none of them have the balls to speak to her isnt it their loss.


  • #16
    Mozart1986
    Closed Accounts Posts: 191 ✭✭Mozart1986


    Monkeybonkers wrote: »
    Hi Unregistered, why don't you go and start a conversation with this guy? Hey presto, end of frustration! :)

    I agree. I don't fault you. I'm a cowardly guy. I often make eye contact with girls I fancy and never do anything. It is very frustrating. I start to seriously believe that they're just being friendly or I'm imagining it. (I actually used to creep women out when I was younger which makes me cringe with embarrassment). But my last girlfriend told me she liked me and I was impressed. I had fancied her and made some awkward attempts to strike up conversation. I was totally in the dark as to whether she was interested and my attempts were not forward enough for her to have any security as to my aspirations. It all sounds so foolish now but we all play these ridiculus games to save face. Eventually she just told me she thought I was really nice and that she would like to hang out and I was really impressed and chuffed. When we were going out and I told her that I had liked her for weeks and she thumped me on the shoulder and said "then why did you act so disinterested?" and I felt really embarassed. Its all so stupid.

    She left Ireland over six months ago and I've reverted to my old cowardly self. I have no idea how to approach a girl if I like her and would really appreciate a bit of help. I think I make bad first impressions. Its sad and discomforts me to say so, but the only way I can have a normal conversation and treat them like a human being is to disengage from any idea of making a move and then women think I'm not interested or something (they might even think I'm gay, I'm not sure) and then I very quickly slip into the friend zone.

    This might not be helpful to the OP, but I'd just like to iterate the point made in the previous post with a successful example, namely my one and only relationship.

    Goodluck OP, I hope you do take that leap of faith


  • #17
    Mozart1986
    Closed Accounts Posts: 191 ✭✭Mozart1986


    different wrote: »
    Why should she? I'm sure she has plenty of other guys staring at her when they walk by, and if none of them have the balls to speak to her isnt it their loss.

    I resent that. It has nothing to do with "balls". Some lads just have a healthy level of self-doubt and insecurity. That unfortunately holds them back in certain situations, but it displays humility and sensitivity that holds them in good stead when they do find relationships. He doesn't want to rush in and make the girl uncomfortable, and so he bares a conflict of interests in himself as well as a lack of experience, like myself.


  • #18
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Mozart1986 wrote: »
    I agree. I don't fault you. I'm a cowardly guy. I often make eye contact with girls I fancy and never do anything. It is very frustrating. I start to seriously believe that they're just being friendly or I'm imagining it. (I actually used to creep women out when I was younger which makes me cringe with embarrassment). But my last girlfriend told me she liked me and I was impressed. I had fancied her and made some awkward attempts to strike up conversation. I was totally in the dark as to whether she was interested and my attempts were not forward enough for her to have any security as to my aspirations. It all sounds so foolish now but we all play these ridiculus games to save face. Eventually she just told me she thought I was really nice and that she would like to hang out and I was really impressed and chuffed. When we were going out and I told her that I had liked her for weeks and she thumped me on the shoulder and said "then why did you act so disinterested?" and I felt really embarassed. Its all so stupid.

    She left Ireland over six months ago and I've reverted to my old cowardly self. I have no idea how to approach a girl if I like her and would really appreciate a bit of help. I think I make bad first impressions. Its sad and discomforts me to say so, but the only way I can have a normal conversation and treat them like a human being is to disengage from any idea of making a move and then women think I'm not interested or something (they might even think I'm gay, I'm not sure) and then I very quickly slip into the friend zone.

    This might not be helpful to the OP, but I'd just like to iterate the point made in the previous post with a successful example, namely my one and only relationship.

    Goodluck OP, I hope you do take that leap of faith

    This is funny stuff: let's just persuade girls to do all the asking and running, as opposed to telling a guy to just grow a pair and just speak to her.
    There's no such thing as "slipping into the friend zone", you know. Most girls simply use the "but we're such good friends" excuse if they are not attracted to the guy in question. Rather funny that so many people actually believe in the concept.


  • #19
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Mozart1986 wrote: »
    I resent that. It has nothing to do with "balls". Some lads just have a healthy level of self-doubt and insecurity. That unfortunately holds them back in certain situations, but it displays humility and sensitivity that holds them in good stead when they do find relationships. He doesn't want to rush in and make the girl uncomfortable, and so he bares a conflict of interests in himself as well as a lack of experience, like myself.

    "healthy level" ... do you actually believe IT IS healthy? Just look at the amount of threads by guys who have liked a girl for months if not years but never made a move! I doubt they're all feeling happy and healthy.


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