If you could train your dog to do anything...

dnme · 12-05-2010 02:56AM #1

I'd train my trusty lab to make coffee,

af_thefragile · 12-05-2010 02:58AM

Write my college exams for me.

Unfortunately I don't have a dog. Neither do I think I ever will...
I prefer cats.

jimmycrackcorm · 12-05-2010 03:03AM

... satisfy de wife so ah can get back to drinking while I watch de sports on de telly

Vertigo100 · 12-05-2010 03:20AM

Synth mephedrone

m@cc@ · 12-05-2010 03:22AM

Two words: Peanut butter.

FearDark · 12-05-2010 03:24AM

m@cc@ wrote: »

Two words: Peanut butter.

You want your dog to make you a peanut butter sandwich?

I kid.

IvySlayer · 12-05-2010 04:12AM

To meow.

Biggins · 12-05-2010 07:15AM

...to return!

FearDark · 12-05-2010 07:17AM

Return from the dead.

henryporter · 12-05-2010 07:20AM

Pick this weeks Lotto numbers....

ROCKMAN · 12-05-2010 07:24AM

**** outside

Winty · 12-05-2010 07:30AM

My dog would pick up the smell of anybody on Boards.ie who contradict me, track them down and piss in their shoes.

Good Boy

neil_hosey · 12-05-2010 08:03AM

teach her to code .NET, shave her arse, teach her to walk backwards and let her off into work for me..

evil_seed · 12-05-2010 08:14AM

to close the door after him

Einstein · 12-05-2010 08:22AM

talk!
imagine havin a mutt that could have a conversation...i'd love marmaduke as my dog...

star.chaser · 12-05-2010 08:36AM

My Job and he'd be right at home. Lots of dogs in here...

Shrek2 · 12-05-2010 08:39AM

We just got a little pug. If I could train it to crap in the garden and not the kitchen and keep it's "crying time" between 7am and 11pm, I'd be a happy man...

YouTalkinToMe · 13-05-2010 01:00AM

To buy me a helper monkey.

mikom · 13-05-2010 01:02AM

af_thefragile wrote: »

Unfortunately I don't have a dog. Neither do I think I ever will...
I prefer cats.

I feel sorry for you.

McChubbin · 13-05-2010 01:22AM

I'd teach my bitch how to open the back door herself instead of running back and forth between the kitchen and living room 5 hundred-million times squeaking incensently at me in one day. I swear, that dog's bladder is the size of an amoeba...

Also, Shrek2, I officially hate your guts for you have a pug-baby and I don't.

Darlughda · 13-05-2010 01:54AM

find hot men

x PyRo · 13-05-2010 01:57AM

I'd train him to rob banks, on request, ninja style.

Sisko · 13-05-2010 01:57AM

teach my dog to close doors after her, she can open them fine. Shes like the raptor from Jurassic park

TestTransmission · 13-05-2010 02:11AM

Lick my balls...........oh wait.

Bodhisopha · 13-05-2010 02:12AM

TestTransmission wrote: »

Lick my balls...........oh wait.

Just butter them up.........oh wait.

Jazzy · 13-05-2010 02:36AM

??????????

shoot laz0rs of course.

pajodublin · 13-05-2010 02:39AM

neil_hosey wrote: »

teach her to code .NET, shave her arse, teach her to walk backwards and let her off into work for me..

Sounds like you want to train your wife and not your dog!!!

stovelid · 13-05-2010 07:56AM

Vertigo100 wrote: »

Synth mephedrone

IvySlayer wrote: »

To meow.

You need to get together on this one.....

Wazdakka · 13-05-2010 08:57AM

stovelid wrote: »

You need to get together on this one.....

Only newspapers have have no Idea what's actually going on in Ireland call it meow.

OT..

I'd train him to work for me.
I'd spend my days sprawled out on the couch with a beer and some smoke while fido brings home my six figure salary.

Either that or teach him to fetch...
Fetch strippers...

stovelid · 13-05-2010 09:00AM

Wazdakka wrote: »

Only newspapers hat have no Idea what's actually going on in Ireland call it meow.

I'm not sure if the scope of my little joke extended to a linguistic appraisal of the regional sobriquets for Mephedrone, but thanks for that anyway.

AnonoBoy · 13-05-2010 09:17AM

Sh*t money.

Wazdakka · 13-05-2010 09:20AM

stovelid wrote: »

I'm not sure if the scope of my little joke extended to a linguistic appraisal of the regional sobriquets for Mephedrone, but thanks for that anyway.

Did I ever tell you that overcomplicating sentences with little used words to look smarter really turns me on...

stovelid · 13-05-2010 09:26AM

Wazdakka wrote: »

Did I ever tell you that overcomplicating sentences with little used words to look smarter really turns me on...

Your opportunities for self-arousal must be fairly limited then?

tian shi · 13-05-2010 09:37AM

If I had a dog, I would train it to shake off the last few drops. such an inconvenience sometimes

bonerm · 13-05-2010 09:40AM

I'd train him to lick MY balls.

Wazdakka · 13-05-2010 09:48AM

stovelid wrote: »

Your opportunities for self-arousal must be fairly limited then?

Somewhat...

But whenever I need a fix, I just look at AH for a few min.
Recently there seems to be loads of over hyped, language obsessed, keyboard warriors who are unfortunately confused over the difference between being well educated and actually having an interesting or insightful opinion on something.

Fap fap fap

stovelid · 13-05-2010 09:59AM

Wazdakka wrote: »

Did I ever tell you that overcomplicating sentences with little used words to look smarter really turns me on...

Wazdakka wrote: »

Somewhat...

But whenever I need a fix, I just look at AH for a few min.
Recently there seems to be loads of over hyped, language obsessed, keyboard warriors who are unfortunately confused over the difference between being well educated and actually having an interesting or insightful opinion on something.

.

Wazdakka · 13-05-2010 10:00AM

You missed a bit of my quote there

Fuhrer · 13-05-2010 10:03AM

Id teach him to get a job

anniehoo · 13-05-2010 10:07AM

Come alive again! I miss her

kylith · 13-05-2010 10:11AM

I'd love to train them to hoover. The ****ing carpet is full of hair.

orourkeda · 13-05-2010 11:02AM

I'd teach him how to sing smack my bitch up

Andrew33 · 13-05-2010 11:07AM

Drive my car so we can go to the pub together! Its an automatic, I mean, how hard can it be?

Standard Toaster · 13-05-2010 11:38AM

Duh...become a bounty hunter of course.

cowhands · 13-05-2010 11:45AM

teach him to stop eating his own s hit
horrible little dog :mad:

Duggy747 · 13-05-2010 11:49AM

My wee king charles dog is brutal for opening doors too far so it doesn't close. Always have to get up and close the damn door...................to which 5 minutes later she wants to leave again.

Bah, if it wasn't for her freakishly human eyes (I'm sure she's a hybrid!).........

If I could teach her to go down to the shop and bring back some teabags that would be great.

Standard Toaster · 13-05-2010 11:57AM

Train him to stop looking at me with his weird eyes....:eek:

DamienH · 13-05-2010 12:07PM

That's one of the best photos I've seen in a while. he looks stoned out of his nut and the cake doesn't help either. What kind of dog is that btw?

cherryghost · 13-05-2010 12:08PM

To get into a Pokéball, so I could throw the ball and call his name when an innocent cat walks by me

Duggy747 · 13-05-2010 12:14PM

Actually, here's my mutt with her human eyes and posing

Damn loveable dog!

Mr Benevolent · 13-05-2010 12:15PM

I prefer cats.

If you could train your dog to do anything...

Comments