First day on the job.....the definition of awkwardness!

stevejr · 30-03-2011 11:29PM #1

....that horrrible feeling;

Anyone have any terrible jokes played on them or bad experiences?

Shield · 30-03-2011 11:32PM

Would a goose being placed in your locker count?

P_1 · 30-03-2011 11:33PM

Go fetch me the long stand OP.

starviewadams · 30-03-2011 11:34PM

First day doing security years ago I was given a radio by my supervisor who told me to use it if I needed a hand with anything,I was trying to use it for about two or three hours before I realised that there was no battery in it,went inside to the office and all the lads broke their shíte laughing,felt like such an idiot!

brianthomas · 30-03-2011 11:34PM

Bucket of steam. Skirting ladder. Classics.

stevejr · 30-03-2011 11:35PM

WTF....yes. Was it alive and why?

GLaDOS · 30-03-2011 11:35PM

Woke up in a tub full of ice with one kidney less.

The hazing at the hospital was terrible.

RichieC · 30-03-2011 11:35PM

Go fetch the long stand of johnny, Richie, will ya?

GO FU*K YOURSELF I'M 32! :mad:

Hackysack · 30-03-2011 11:36PM

Old favourite - Asking the new person to go and look for a "PD file"

It's quite a hoot.

Shield · 30-03-2011 11:37PM

Yes, and first day on the job. Didn't happen to me personally but I know someone it did happen to. It was asleep and he woke it when he opened he locker. It got startled and in turn caused him to near sh1t himself.

stevejr wrote: »

WTF....yes. Was it alive and why?

RichieC · 30-03-2011 11:37PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox3Gd5GKfGw

you'll like this

stevejr · 30-03-2011 11:37PM

pithater1 wrote: »

Go fetch me the long stand OP.

was sick of waiting but i got you a leg of salmon and a skirtng-board ladder:)

TheZohanS · 30-03-2011 11:39PM

psni wrote: »

Would a goose being placed in your locker count?

Depends on how smart it is...

stevejr · 30-03-2011 11:39PM

Hackysack wrote: »

Old favourite - Asking the new person to go and look for a "PD file"

.....in the basement.

Shield · 30-03-2011 11:43PM

Not very. They named him Paisley.

TheZohan wrote: »

Depends on how smart it is...

Deise Dolly · 30-03-2011 11:45PM

First day in a new job I asked where the toilets were. They were outside by the lifts and were shared with the section at the front of the building. I was going in the door when a guy opened it from the other side. "Sorry, I thought this was the ladies," I explained. "It is the ladies," replied the very masculine woman. I cringed every time I saw her for about a week. Thank God she worked in the other section.

major bill · 30-03-2011 11:46PM

Trying to put ladder clamps back on the van without the ladder:o

Will I Amnt · 30-03-2011 11:48PM

brianthomas wrote: »

Bucket of steam. Skirting ladder. Classics.

Don't forget the striped paint

ArtyM · 30-03-2011 11:49PM

'Run down the hardware store and get for a Bubble for a spirit level and a long weight'

Voodoomelon · 30-03-2011 11:51PM

Remember we sent a new young lad from our restaurant down to another local restaraunt under the same management with a teapot and told him to get some steam. Flippin eejit went and all.

JamieK · 30-03-2011 11:54PM

cambo2008 wrote: »

Don't forget the striped paint

A guy from town who had started on a building site was sent to the hardware store for striped paint, bubbles for spirit levels and a fallopian tube!

RichieC · 30-03-2011 11:55PM

Sky hooks and skirting ladders, two more classics..

aligator_am · 30-03-2011 11:55PM

I remember many moons ago, working in Dunnes on Henry Street Dublin, being asked to go to the store room and getting a pallet of fish, brand being Ulick Magee, didn't twig it untill the really good looking girl in the store room I said it to cracked up laughing

ah well...

dx22 · 30-03-2011 11:58PM

ArtyM wrote: »

'Run down the hardware store and get for a Bubble for a spirit level and a long weight'

...and a glass hammer and some elbow grease while you're at it!

thebiggestjim · 31-03-2011 12:05AM

dx22 wrote: »

...and a glass hammer and some elbow grease while you're at it!

can you go out back and get me a fallopian tube. I got that one.

Hank Scorpio · 31-03-2011 12:39AM

Didnt happen to me but a lad I know was asked if he drop a letter with a prescription into the pharmacy while he was on his lunch break by his work mate

He handed over the letter and the attendent opened it, it read something like " Excuse me im very shy, would it be possible to get a pack of vanilla flavoured condoms, I looked around yesterday and couldnt find them "

Apparently there was 3 or 4 people behind the counter at the time, all women

ziedth · 31-03-2011 12:47AM

Used to work on a butchers counter in Superquinn. Real boys club and new lads had an awful time.

In a nutshell they'd send a guy to the bakery department (who'd be in on it) for a pudding bender they'd then send him to the stores as they had it last and so on. One poor chap was being turfed around the shop for two hours.

Also had a girl ring tesco to price a Leg of Salmon for research. Again on the phone foe 30min while I'm sure they broke their **** laughing.

Will I Amnt · 31-03-2011 12:49AM

Best one I heard was a fella on a local building site being sent to fill up the dumper with diesel,he jumps on and drives off.
Sometime later he appears in the distance driving at a snails pace,he was after filling up the bucket of the dumper with hundreds of litres of diesel and trying not to spill any on his way back.That's one you don't live down to easily

Adyx · 31-03-2011 02:24AM

A favourite in nightclubs is to send someone to find the keys to the dance floor.

A club I used to work in had these tubes filled with water with bubbles going through them. A guy, upon starting there, was sent to our sister nightclub up the street with a bucket to get bubbles for the tubes.

pickarooney · 31-03-2011 08:35AM

ScienceNerd wrote: »

Woke up in a tub full of ice with one kidney less.

The hazing at the hospital was terrible.

You work with pithater01 I take it?

(for the slow ones, read his sig)

31-03-2011 08:38AM

Em, never got any of that stuff.
Those places you guys work in sound pretty mean

_feedback_ · 31-03-2011 08:43AM

Guy I used to work with in a bar years ago used to treat all new starters with the same trick. Had a big bowl of whipped cream for coffees etc. He used to go up to the new person with a big long face and say "Eww, does that smell off to you?" New person leans in to smell and he brings it up a little too much. Cream all over the new persons face, by "accident" of course.

I used to think it was pretty mean but that comedian thought it was hillarious.

Big Nasty · 31-03-2011 08:46AM

*subscribes*

pickarooney · 31-03-2011 08:59AM

RichieC wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox3Gd5GKfGw

you'll like this

I'd forgotton how much Nicholas Burns from Nathan Barley looked like Joel McHale.

Hyperbullet · 31-03-2011 09:50AM

Used to work in a hotel years ago and we got up to some awful ones. The usual long stand/long weight craic, however there was one guy who had been there a long time and wasn't exactly the sharpest. We sent him on the search one night for the keys to the back yard gate to stop crows getting in and wrecking the place. Never copped that crows could fly, and dont necessarily walk into the yard.

He spent a good 40 minutes being sent from one part of the hotel to the other seeking keys to stop the blasted crows.

SeaFields · 31-03-2011 10:03AM

Ah come on....a lot of people here saying "eh... this one didn't happen to me but...."

When I was on school work experience I did it in the butchers in the local shopping centre. I got sent out for a pickle glove

Tried four other shops before a nice girl asked me who is looking for that. She told me it was a joke and to go tell him fcuk himself which I did.

Still tho got paid for the work experience which hardly anyone else in school did and the lad that sent me out looking gave me a six pack of budweiser. First time I got pissed!

Captain Darling · 31-03-2011 10:06AM

I started work at the ripe old age of 21. Fresh faced, foot loose and fancy free.

This auld one referred to me as the 'little boy in the office' in the first week because i looked about twelve. From then on i was referred to as the little boy in the office. Thanks be to jaysus i got out of there. I'm a big boy now dammit!!

Yawns · 31-03-2011 10:09AM

I remember working in a pub, we sent a newish lounge boy out to mop the beer garden in the rain. He was there a good 10 minutes trying to soak up a puddle and wring the mop dry. A lounge girl felt sorry for him and brought him back inside

Blazer · 31-03-2011 10:19AM

On my electronics course one particular lad wasn't paying attention and asked what equipment were we supposed to get for creating circuitboards, soldering etc.
We sent him off with list "Sonic screwdriver and for soldering "electric arc welder".
The electric shops in his hometown ended up sending him all over the place

He arrived in Monday and told the lecturer that he couldn't find a sonic screwdriver anywhere and that the welders he was looking at were not powerful enough for soldering circuit boards...
From then one he was marked out as the most gullible person I've ever met in my life..and that was 20 years ago.
Someday I might tell ye the story of how he applied for the position of Marine Electronics Officer.......on Mars

rainbowdrop · 31-03-2011 10:20AM

Know of a girl whose 1st wedding anniversary was coming up, and her workmates convinced her that she had to 'renew her wedding license' every year (like you would a TV or dog license).

Off she went to the post office on her lunch break to try and renew the wedding license. I'd say the staff working there wet themselves laughing at her!

BobTheBeat · 31-03-2011 10:21AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPuxlTWO6iI

GerM · 31-03-2011 10:26AM

RichieC wrote: »

Sky hooks and skirting ladders, two more classics..

Contacted the procurement lad in the office before and asked him to get me a half dozen sky hooks on April 1st. Poor fella didn't have a clue what they were and assumed they were part of air conditioning ducting system. Rang around 6 suppliers asking for them. My favourite part was that not one of the suppliers set him straight, just laughed at him and told them they were all out.

3ndahalfof6 · 31-03-2011 10:36AM

gigglin pin for laffin shaft

newcomer landing in newyioke from ireland, wpuld get sent to the shop for half pound of hurely gurleys or lura lardles and wile your at it get 20 fags

Balmed Out · 31-03-2011 10:40AM

Used to work in a bar.
If it was quiet id get the latest youngster working as a glass collector to sort the bottle tops for recycling or to polish the kegs.

Guill · 31-03-2011 10:44AM

Got a lad to pack a shelf full of Ice cream in Dunnes Stores before.

Son Of A Vidic · 31-03-2011 10:50AM

RichieC wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox3Gd5GKfGw

you'll like this

Priceless!

Ledger · 31-03-2011 10:55AM

Balmed Out wrote: »

Used to work in a bar.
If it was quiet id get the latest youngster working as a glass collector to sort the bottle tops for recycling or to polish the kegs.

I'd have no problem polishing off a Keg!

kiddums · 31-03-2011 10:56AM

On a work placement in a garage I got sent across the road for spark plugs for the transit.

I didn't twig that the transit is diesel and so no spark plugh till the guy in the shop started laughing. The mechanics were in stiches when I got back.

face2face · 31-03-2011 11:01AM

Had a summer job in a restaurant, they sent me around the corner to another one in group to get the lobster gun - they gave me a fire extinguisher - knew something was up but was too afraid of the chef to say anything. Year later in a chemical company got a message to ring a customer looking for large quantity of white spirit - Mr Graves was his name.........

Big Nasty · 31-03-2011 11:03AM

Just remembered this one - years ago working in a pub we got told the new boy that we were out of beermats so handed him a gang of cardboard boxes, a scissors and a black marker. Told him to cut the boxes in to little circles and write Heineken on them!

Guill · 31-03-2011 11:06AM

Sent a guy for a bag of 6" flutes in the local DIY store as the flutes on the drills were fecked.

I'll never forget the look on his face when he got back. The hardware store owner even rang to say how funny it was!

First day on the job.....the definition of awkwardness!

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