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I have decided to grow a beard

  • 23-04-2011 10:36PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,584 ✭✭✭


    ..but my wife will go ape s hit!
    Anyone got a decent excuse I can use to justify my facial growth?


«1

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    Cost of shaving


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Beards are shit tbh, I can go about a week without shaving but then I have to have one, don't like beards at all


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,007 ✭✭✭sollar


    Tell her you are joining beggs, o'connor and co and becoming a union head.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 630 ✭✭✭Claasman


    tell her your mistress likes the way it feels...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,198 ✭✭✭strokemyclover


    You're a man?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 287 ✭✭James2693


    Your sick of her controlling your life, you cant affird to pay the bills anymore.your leaving her to become a hobo. You want to look the part so your growing a beard.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    Tell her its to cover up the pox or to control your dribbling problem.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    Say you have been sponsored to grow one from now to the end of Movember.

    Say it's a special May to December challenge.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,439 ✭✭✭Kevin Duffy


    Just say "it's my face, don't try to change me bítch" and you'll soon discover that the best beard growing conditions are to be found in the spare room. You're welcome.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,370 ✭✭✭✭Son Of A Vidic


    Tell her your converting to Islam and you will be growing your beard for religious reasons.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 430 ✭✭cullen5998


    So that you can can weave your pubes and beard together and play it like a harp.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 410 ✭✭JohnathanM


    Say that you have become a paedophile:



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 909 ✭✭✭Overature


    beards i a sign of wisdom, more beard more wisdom


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,116 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    Excuse? How about "because I said so"? You need testosterone to grow a beard, right? :cool:

    You are the type of what the age is searching for, and what it is afraid it has found. I am so glad that you have never done anything, never carved a statue, or painted a picture, or produced anything outside of yourself! Life has been your art. You have set yourself to music. Your days are your sonnets.

    ―Oscar Wilde predicting Social Media, in The Picture of Dorian Gray



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,900 ✭✭✭General General


    First tell her that you are growing a beard, getting a tattoo on your face & several piercings... then see how she concedes the beard, no problem.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,654 ✭✭✭cruiser178


    Just tell her out straight,you cant afford all the razors both of ye are using,im sure she'll understand.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭Sofaspud


    Tell her that if she doesn't like beards she's obviously wrong, as beards are awesome.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 320 ✭✭CorsetIsTight


    1. Beard = no stubble = no stubble rash on recipient of passionate kissing.

    2. Male hormones give men beards, in the same way as female hormones give women breasts.

    3. Most men, if they can grow a decent beard, look better with it than without it.



    Beards FTW.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,975 ✭✭✭W.Shakes-Beer


    Grew out a beard for the first time over the winter (my winter face warmer) and now fear the thought of shaving it off. Beards FTW.

    Makes me wisdom! feel like man! booga booga!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 420 ✭✭whiteboy


    looks best to be clean shaven imo with a bit of shtubble!


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  • Posts: 3,505 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Tell her the itching will torture you. She'll like that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭Rds1989


    Say you have joined the Sacred order of Chuck Norris?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    Voltex wrote: »
    ..but my wife will go ape s hit!
    Anyone got a decent excuse I can use to justify my facial growth?

    You sure you are man enough to grow a beard ?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,762 ✭✭✭jive




  • Closed Accounts Posts: 344 ✭✭blogga


    I have decided to fart.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 521 ✭✭✭alexa5x5


    Personally I love a beard on a man :), you never know OP, she might love it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,439 ✭✭✭Kevin Duffy


    Rds1989 wrote: »
    Say you have joined the Sacred order of Chuck Norris?

    You don't decide when you grow a beard for Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris decides when you grow a beard for Chuck Norris.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    Voltex wrote: »
    ..but my wife will go ape s hit!
    Anyone got a decent excuse I can use to justify my facial growth?
    Winter. You've missed your chance now though, it's pointless growing a beard again until at least September.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,512 ✭✭✭Oh_Noes


    Grow your beard, you don't need to tell her: it will be obvious enough when your face is covered in hair.

    If she objects? Tell her to shut the fúck up and hurry up with the dinner.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 344 ✭✭blogga


    I have decided to scratch my arse.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,785 ✭✭✭KungPao


    I have great respect for Jesus, Santa Claus and General Esperanza but many people who I have met, who have had full on beards, have been knobs.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 851 ✭✭✭PrincessLola


    Why? Do men enjoy having hair on their faces?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    Why? Do men enjoy having hair on their faces?

    I love a man with a beard.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,692 ✭✭✭✭OPENROAD


    Thinking of ditching the fusion blades and moving back to mach 3 turbo blades.

    Any opinions?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 320 ✭✭CorsetIsTight


    Why? Do men enjoy having hair on their faces?

    Why not...? Do men enjoy scraping their faces with sharpened bits of metal...?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    OPENROAD wrote: »
    Thinking of ditching the fusion blades and moving back to mach 3 turbo blades.

    Any opinions?


    http://www.shaving.ie/

    Get the safety razor kit, all those disposable razors are shyte. €9 for 50 replacement blades.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,785 ✭✭✭KungPao


    Why? Do men enjoy having hair on their faces?

    Some men think they'll look like The Man With No Name...all badass 'n sh1t, but in reality most look like hobos, smelly students or George Michael impersonators.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    I have a beard. The best thing about it is that you often find bits of food in it that you ate days before & can enjoy a tasty morsel of them again at a later date.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    blogga wrote: »
    I have decided to scratch my arse.

    Watch out for your 'Johnny Giles', don't want you bursting any 'grapes' :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,785 ✭✭✭KungPao


    KungPao wrote: »
    Some men think they'll look like The Man With No Name...all badass 'n sh1t, but in reality most look like hobos, smelly students or George Michael impersonators.

    I'd just like to add that Tom Petty looks f'in deadly with a beard.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 249 ✭✭Norma_Desmond


    Like this?

    It would look awesome but if I were your wife I doubt I'd be attracted to you anymore!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    Like this?

    It would look awesome but if I were your wife I doubt I'd be attracted to you anymore!!!
    But it's like a face full of rampant rabbits.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 249 ✭✭Norma_Desmond


    ScumLord wrote: »
    But it's like a face full of rampant rabbits.


    That's why his wife wouldn't be attracted to him anymore but it would be rather entertaining for other people!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,669 ✭✭✭policarp


    Voltex wrote: »
    ..Anyone got a decent excuse I can use to justify my facial growth?

    Your head is upside down.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 139 ✭✭shergar22


    Ask her does she shave her ladybits every day? Fair's fair. (Grow a pair too)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14 Dilsheen


    kfallon wrote: »
    Watch out for your 'Johnny Giles', don't want you bursting any 'grapes' :pac:

    your a bad man :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 521 ✭✭✭alexa5x5


    shergar22 wrote: »
    Ask her does she shave her ladybits every day? Fair's fair. (Grow a pair too)

    try getting your hair ripped from your most sensitive bits during waxing!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    That's why his wife wouldn't be attracted to him anymore but it would be rather entertaining for other people!!
    Well then he should be motor boating the private parts of a gaggle of women. Which I'm sure he is.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 99 ✭✭bkelly86


    bitches be crazy


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 702 ✭✭✭Turpentine


    Voltex wrote: »
    ..but my wife will go ape s hit!
    Anyone got a decent excuse I can use to justify my facial growth?

    Don't wash for the length of time it takes to grow the beard. Your enchanting musk will distract her from your newly cultivated facial fortitude.


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