I have decided to grow a beard

Voltex · 23-04-2011 10:36PM #1

..but my wife will go ape s hit!
Anyone got a decent excuse I can use to justify my facial growth?

efb · 23-04-2011 10:37PM

Cost of shaving

kfallon · 23-04-2011 10:38PM

Beards are shit tbh, I can go about a week without shaving but then I have to have one, don't like beards at all

sollar · 23-04-2011 10:38PM

Tell her you are joining beggs, o'connor and co and becoming a union head.

Claasman · 23-04-2011 10:38PM

tell her your mistress likes the way it feels...

strokemyclover · 23-04-2011 10:39PM

You're a man?

James2693 · 23-04-2011 10:39PM

Your sick of her controlling your life, you cant affird to pay the bills anymore.your leaving her to become a hobo. You want to look the part so your growing a beard.

KeithM89_old · 23-04-2011 10:39PM

Tell her its to cover up the pox or to control your dribbling problem.

OutlawPete · 23-04-2011 10:41PM

Say you have been sponsored to grow one from now to the end of Movember.

Say it's a special May to December challenge.

Kevin Duffy · 23-04-2011 10:41PM

Just say "it's my face, don't try to change me bítch" and you'll soon discover that the best beard growing conditions are to be found in the spare room. You're welcome.

Son Of A Vidic · 23-04-2011 10:42PM

Tell her your converting to Islam and you will be growing your beard for religious reasons.

cullen5998 · 23-04-2011 10:43PM

So that you can can weave your pubes and beard together and play it like a harp.

JohnathanM · 23-04-2011 10:44PM

Say that you have become a paedophile:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15S0g8pG6HU

Overature · 23-04-2011 10:45PM

beards i a sign of wisdom, more beard more wisdom

bnt · 23-04-2011 10:47PM

Excuse? How about "because I said so"? You need testosterone to grow a beard, right? :cool:

General General · 23-04-2011 10:48PM

First tell her that you are growing a beard, getting a tattoo on your face & several piercings... then see how she concedes the beard, no problem.

cruiser178 · 23-04-2011 10:51PM

Just tell her out straight,you cant afford all the razors both of ye are using,im sure she'll understand.

Sofaspud · 23-04-2011 10:54PM

Tell her that if she doesn't like beards she's obviously wrong, as beards are awesome.

CorsetIsTight · 23-04-2011 11:07PM

1. Beard = no stubble = no stubble rash on recipient of passionate kissing.

2. Male hormones give men beards, in the same way as female hormones give women breasts.

3. Most men, if they can grow a decent beard, look better with it than without it.

Beards FTW.

W.Shakes-Beer · 23-04-2011 11:10PM

Grew out a beard for the first time over the winter (my winter face warmer) and now fear the thought of shaving it off. Beards FTW.

Makes me wisdom! feel like man! booga booga!

whiteboy · 23-04-2011 11:15PM

looks best to be clean shaven imo with a bit of shtubble!

23-04-2011 11:17PM

Tell her the itching will torture you. She'll like that.

Rds1989 · 23-04-2011 11:35PM

Say you have joined the Sacred order of Chuck Norris?

hondasam · 23-04-2011 11:40PM

Voltex wrote: »

..but my wife will go ape s hit!
Anyone got a decent excuse I can use to justify my facial growth?

You sure you are man enough to grow a beard ?

jive · 23-04-2011 11:43PM

http://images.wikia.com/marvel_dc/images/3/37/AndHereWeGo.gif

blogga · 23-04-2011 11:44PM

I have decided to fart.

alexa5x5 · 23-04-2011 11:44PM

Personally I love a beard on a man

, you never know OP, she might love it.

Kevin Duffy · 23-04-2011 11:46PM

Rds1989 wrote: »

Say you have joined the Sacred order of Chuck Norris?

You don't decide when you grow a beard for Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris decides when you grow a beard for Chuck Norris.

ScumLord · 23-04-2011 11:48PM

Voltex wrote: »

..but my wife will go ape s hit!
Anyone got a decent excuse I can use to justify my facial growth?

Winter. You've missed your chance now though, it's pointless growing a beard again until at least September.

Oh_Noes · 23-04-2011 11:52PM

Grow your beard, you don't need to tell her: it will be obvious enough when your face is covered in hair.

If she objects? Tell her to shut the fúck up and hurry up with the dinner.

blogga · 23-04-2011 11:53PM

I have decided to scratch my arse.

KungPao · 24-04-2011 12:17AM

I have great respect for Jesus, Santa Claus and General Esperanza but many people who I have met, who have had full on beards, have been knobs.

PrincessLola · 24-04-2011 12:19AM

Why? Do men enjoy having hair on their faces?

hondasam · 24-04-2011 12:21AM

PrincessLola wrote: »

Why? Do men enjoy having hair on their faces?

I love a man with a beard.

OPENROAD · 24-04-2011 12:22AM

Thinking of ditching the fusion blades and moving back to mach 3 turbo blades.

Any opinions?

CorsetIsTight · 24-04-2011 12:24AM

PrincessLola wrote: »

Why? Do men enjoy having hair on their faces?

Why not...? Do men enjoy scraping their faces with sharpened bits of metal...?

ScumLord · 24-04-2011 12:25AM

OPENROAD wrote: »

Thinking of ditching the fusion blades and moving back to mach 3 turbo blades.

Any opinions?

http://www.shaving.ie/

Get the safety razor kit, all those disposable razors are shyte. €9 for 50 replacement blades.

KungPao · 24-04-2011 12:26AM

PrincessLola wrote: »

Why? Do men enjoy having hair on their faces?

Some men think they'll look like The Man With No Name...all badass 'n sh1t, but in reality most look like hobos, smelly students or George Michael impersonators.

starbelgrade · 24-04-2011 12:44AM

I have a beard. The best thing about it is that you often find bits of food in it that you ate days before & can enjoy a tasty morsel of them again at a later date.

kfallon · 24-04-2011 12:51AM

blogga wrote: »

I have decided to scratch my arse.

Watch out for your 'Johnny Giles', don't want you bursting any 'grapes' :pac:

KungPao · 24-04-2011 01:20AM

KungPao wrote: »

Some men think they'll look like The Man With No Name...all badass 'n sh1t, but in reality most look like hobos, smelly students or George Michael impersonators.

I'd just like to add that Tom Petty looks f'in deadly with a beard.

Norma_Desmond · 24-04-2011 01:29AM

Like this?

It would look awesome but if I were your wife I doubt I'd be attracted to you anymore!!!

ScumLord · 24-04-2011 01:33AM

Norma_Desmond wrote: »

Like this?

It would look awesome but if I were your wife I doubt I'd be attracted to you anymore!!!

But it's like a face full of rampant rabbits.

Norma_Desmond · 24-04-2011 01:35AM

ScumLord wrote: »

But it's like a face full of rampant rabbits.

That's why his wife wouldn't be attracted to him anymore but it would be rather entertaining for other people!!

policarp · 24-04-2011 01:36AM

Voltex wrote: »

..Anyone got a decent excuse I can use to justify my facial growth?

Your head is upside down.

shergar22 · 24-04-2011 01:39AM

Ask her does she shave her ladybits every day? Fair's fair. (Grow a pair too)

Dilsheen · 24-04-2011 01:52AM

kfallon wrote: »

Watch out for your 'Johnny Giles', don't want you bursting any 'grapes' :pac:

your a bad man

alexa5x5 · 24-04-2011 01:55AM

shergar22 wrote: »

Ask her does she shave her ladybits every day? Fair's fair. (Grow a pair too)

try getting your hair ripped from your most sensitive bits during waxing!

ScumLord · 24-04-2011 01:55AM

Norma_Desmond wrote: »

That's why his wife wouldn't be attracted to him anymore but it would be rather entertaining for other people!!

Well then he should be motor boating the private parts of a gaggle of women. Which I'm sure he is.

bkelly86 · 24-04-2011 02:00AM

bitches be crazy

Turpentine · 24-04-2011 02:18AM

Voltex wrote: »

..but my wife will go ape s hit!
Anyone got a decent excuse I can use to justify my facial growth?

Don't wash for the length of time it takes to grow the beard. Your enchanting musk will distract her from your newly cultivated facial fortitude.

I have decided to grow a beard

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