Why would anyone want to get married??

upinthesky · 31-08-2013 11:53AM

Iv been to a wedding were a lot of people didn't turn up to the church, just headed to the reception, and I can say a lot of people that are invited to weddings, unless you are very close family feel like doing this too, but they wouldn't out of respect.

Better off having a close family wedding and spending the money on something else like honey moon.

Really shows that its more about the reception less about the ceremony

nicegirl · 31-08-2013 11:54AM

lisar816 wrote: »

Iv been to a wedding were a lot of people didn't turn up to the church, just headed to the reception and I can say a lot of people that are invited to weddings unless you are very close family feel like doing this to but they wouldn't out of respect.

Better off having a close family wedding and spending the money on something else like honey moon.

Really shows that its more about the reception less about the ceremony

I agree entirely.

Wibbs · 31-08-2013 11:55AM

dark crystal wrote: »

It's 2013 folks and the old ball and chain is still being blamed for her husband's infidelities.

You couldn't make this shit up.

I suspect it's more the massive overcompensation for his infidelities that people are pointing to. If I got hitched to I dunno Madonna and a few years in I discover she's having her way with a bevvie of Italian male models on tour. Bad Madonna, Bad. However how does that equate to me being entitled to half her fortune? It doesn't.

Legs.Eleven · 31-08-2013 11:56AM

lisar816 wrote: »

Iv been to a wedding were a lot of people didn't turn up to the church, just headed to the reception and I can say a lot of people that are invited to weddings unless you are very close family feel like doing this to but they wouldn't out of respect.

Better off having a close family wedding and spending the money on something else like honey moon.

Really shows that its more about the reception less about the ceremony

But now you're discussing the wedding day again.... This thread is about marriage, isn't it?

upinthesky · 31-08-2013 11:59AM

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

But now you're discussing the wedding day again.... This thread is about marriage, isn't it?

Well its kind of falling into why people want to get married bracket, Some do it just for show, and i'm just stating to these people what's really being thought of the wedding.

dark crystal · 31-08-2013 12:03PM

Wibbs wrote: »

I suspect it's more the massive overcompensation for his infidelities that people are pointing to. If I got hitched to I dunno Madonna and a few years in I discover she's having her way with a bevvie of Italian male models on tour. Bad Madonna, Bad. However how does that equate to me being entitled to half her fortune? It doesn't.

Was he not aware of the law before he got married though? If I thought putting my dick into numerous other women would cost me half my fortune, I'd probably think twice about putting my dick into numerous other women.

He's a man of means, he's not going to pick up a Lucchese Hooker on the side of the street.

What kind of a marriage was it really when you think about, they weren't suited he fell in love and she saw him as a meal ticket. She stopped putting out after they had children. Insurance policy.

How is this not blaming the wife? How does this poster have any idea how much sex Tiger Woods and his wife were having?

T-K-O · 31-08-2013 12:05PM

lisar816 wrote: »

Well its kind of falling into why people want to get married bracket, Some do it just for show, and i'm just stating to these people what's really being thought of the wedding.

Your comments sound or at least come across petty. You're sniping

A couple getting married wants the people that are close to them at the ceremony. Those close family / friends, Im sure are only too happy to attend.

Lets say you're invited to a larger wedding of a distant cousin, you turn up at the reception. Big deal. They don't care and either do you. They invited you as a courtesy, now that rights and wrongs of that is a completely different argument.

upinthesky · 31-08-2013 12:08PM

Yes I agree, I know what I want to say but find it hard to put it across in writing, im finding boards great, helping with my typing and grammar.

T-K-O · 31-08-2013 12:10PM

lisar816 wrote: »

Yes I agree, I know what I want to say but find it hard to put it across in writing, im finding boards great, helping with my typing and grammar.

Maybe you can help me out! :pac:

anncoates · 31-08-2013 12:11PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

On the legal side of things - an example of where marriage would have been a good idea is where a couple live together in a house built by him. Have a child. Male partner (house owner) dies suddenly. Female has nothing. House left to child. Deceased partners parents saying they'll look after it for her (child), letting mother live there on their terms. Bloody awful situation, leading to a grieving young woman having to emigrate to live life her way in peace. The fact that they loved each other dearly counted for nothing in the end.

She would be the legal guardian of the child though?

Making a will would presumably sort this out if they didn't want to get married.

Edit; just saw other post. Beaten to it.

Canis Lupus · 31-08-2013 12:13PM

I don't have any want to be married. Outside of religious or tax reasons I don't see why it's required any more. I think a lot of people do it because its cultural, it's 'what you do'. I don't think a couple who have been in a relationship for life without getting married love each other less than a married couple.

Tipsy McSwagger · 31-08-2013 12:16PM

I'm going to have to break up with my gf of seven years and tell her we can't spend the rest of our lives together unless we get married. It's a shame because we are both very happy in our relationship but unless we go with the status quo our relationship is doomed.

Legs.Eleven · 31-08-2013 12:18PM

lisar816 wrote: »

Iv been to a wedding were a lot of people didn't turn up to the church, just headed to the reception, and I can say a lot of people that are invited to weddings, unless you are very close family feel like doing this too, but they wouldn't out of respect.

Better off having a close family wedding and spending the money on something else like honey moon.

Really shows that its more about the reception less about the ceremony

For who though? Obviously the ceremony means the most to the couple and the family but the session afterwards is usually enjoyed by most people. If I was to get married, I'd invite everyone to party with me on my special day. I always have great craic at weddings and even enjoy the ceremony. Most people want to see their friends/family happy and they usually are on their wedding day.

As much as they don't appeal to me, I love other people's weddings, particularly Irish weddings.

Afroshack · 31-08-2013 12:18PM

bizmark wrote: »

you didn't make a choice or at lest didn't word your question as such you asked a question and i answered it with my own view point on it and your seeming lack of understanding of why someone would get married.

Tbh it just speaks volumes of the selfish me me me short sighted crap our so called culture has turned into.

Imho anyway

I'd say you're a right laugh to hang out with

xpletiv · 31-08-2013 12:19PM

It must be love.... love, love....

T-K-O · 31-08-2013 12:19PM

Tipsy McSwagger wrote: »

I'm going to have to break up with my gf of seven years and tell her we can't spend the rest of our lives together unless we get married. It's a shame because we are both very happy in our relationship but unless we go with the status quo our relationship is doomed.

Why wouldn't you marry this women?

pwurple · 31-08-2013 12:23PM

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I don't have any want to be married. Outside of religious or tax reasons I don't see why it's required any more. I think a lot of people do it because its cultural, it's 'what you do'. I don't think a couple who have been in a relationship for life without getting married love each other less than a married couple.

They'll find out the difference it makes when one if them gets hit by a bus.

Marriage is a legal mechanism. A public contract tying your financial affairs to your spouse, nothing more. Modern world has confused it with romance and love.

starlit · 31-08-2013 12:24PM

I wouldn't mind but the pressure of it put me off. My faith in marriage has changed. My views on it changed too but its the ultimate commitment which is nice. You don't have to be married to have kid etc. I don't know if I even want to be married guess I've grown out of the fairy tale endings!

Afroshack · 31-08-2013 12:27PM

Bylar Bear wrote: »

You're statement is meaningless to me. So far you have not shown any hint of maturity. All I see is a person that is only happy so long as the are given exactly what they want.

And how, exactly is that a problem for you? I'm also unmarried and have no intention of getting married and having children, although if others want to I am very happy for them. It certainly doesn't mean I don't love my boyfriend. I think it's a very selfish thing to be so involved in your own worldview that you genuinely cannot see why someone might never want to get married, as opposed to the OP who was just trying to stimulate a little discussion. But by all means, troll and bully all you want. It says a lot more about your own maturity than the OP's

IvySlayer · 31-08-2013 12:31PM

bizmark wrote: »

Cause you love someone if you dont understand that then i feel deeply sorry for you

Do people get married cos they love each other or because society tells people who love each other to get married?

nicegirl · 31-08-2013 12:43PM

IvySlayer wrote: »

Do people get married cos they love each other or because society tells people who love each other to get married?

I think most people get married because they love each other, in other cases they may not love each other enough, or know each other, and then some people I believe, just "settle" for someone. These reasons alone can lead to problems in the marriage, which can lead to separation and divorce.

I find there are alot of pressure on people in their 30's to find someone, and get married, or for some girls they are competing with time and the whole biological clock issue.

I have found that there is pressure from friends also, when your friends surrounding you start getting married, and are settling down, that can transcend pressure on a couple also.

Then there is the issue that the woman can change over time, or the man also. The menopause and the andropause can affect man/womans personality during that time in their life, and can affect sex in the relationship, and how they both get along with each other.

There can be so many differences of opinion between a man and a woman, like how a man thinks is different to how a woman thinks. Respect, trust, appreciation are huge issues for men, and issues they need and want in a marriage, and I have seen it so many times in other marriages how the woman can sometimes lose appreciation for her husband. The same of course applies to lack of appreciation from a husband to a wife.

I think understanding each other needs, communication, and understanding the differences between how a man thinks and how a woman thinks are very important in a marriage, as well as the other issues above.

Of course, love is of huge importance, but I feel that love cannot always keep a marriage together, there are so so many issues within a marriage.

Tipsy McSwagger · 31-08-2013 02:27PM

T-K-O wrote: »

Why wouldn't you marry this women?

Sarcasm mate

T-K-O · 31-08-2013 02:30PM

Tipsy McSwagger wrote: »

Sarcasm mate

I was actually waiting for that post to arrive from someone. They do exist!

Friends of mine take a similiar stance and flat out refuse to do something that means nothing to them but everything to the GF.

In my mind, that is mental carry out.

hatrickpatrick · 31-08-2013 02:35PM

Anyone else actually perfectly happy to be with the one love of their life forever, but simply object to sate marriage on moral grounds as it's currently a system which invariably places 100% responsibility on the man if things go wrong, and also somehow imagines that if you choose to dump someone, you're still entitled to the quality of life which you had purely as a side effect of being in a relationship with them?

Aidric · 31-08-2013 02:35PM

nicegirl wrote: »

The thought of it turns my stomach!

Bit strong imo. Whilst I don't see it as the be all and end all I certainly value the bond of marriage. When I see the largely happy marriage of my parents for over 30 years standing I feel imbued and not a little hopeful to repeat the same.

neckedit · 31-08-2013 02:41PM

I'm the opposite though. Been stuck with the one person for the rest of your life. If children come along, you are completely stuck with that person - even if you love them.

To me, its a ball and chain for life, effectively signing your life away bound legally, which also puts me off it.

When you are in love with someone.....the words "stuck with" and "ball and chain" are not really relavent.
If you feel that way about you gf/bf, time to kiss them on the cheek, say goodbye, walk away and let them get on with their lives.

Grayson · 31-08-2013 02:42PM

I just saw a reference to this festival somewhere. It's only vaguely relevant but I thought I'd put it in here.

http://www.odditycentral.com/pics/vietnam-festival-is-dedicated-to-meeting-ex-lovers.html

It's a festival where old lovers meet up. Relationships don't work out as we all know, but once a year people who once shared something but are not married to each other meet up and reminisce about old times.

Lau Minh Pao, for instance, gets to meet his old flame and talk to her once a year. “In the past, we were lovers, but we couldn’t get married because we were far apart,” says Pao. “Now we pour our hearts out about the time when we were in love. We meet together to re-tell the tale of how it was when we were in love back then.” Pao’s wife has no problems with this, as she is off meeting her ex-lover at the very same time.

T-K-O · 31-08-2013 02:43PM

neckedit wrote: »

I'm the opposite though. Been stuck with the one person for the rest of your life. If children come along, you are completely stuck with that person - even if you love them.

To me, its a ball and chain for life, effectively signing your life away bound legally, which also puts me off it.

When you are in love with someone.....the words "stuck with" and "ball and chain" are not really relavent.
If you feel that way about you gf/bf, time to kiss them on the cheek, say goodbye, walk away and let them get on with their lives.

Common sense but nothing to do with the thread, really.

T-K-O · 31-08-2013 02:44PM

Grayson wrote: »

I just saw a reference to this festival somewhere. It's only vaguely relevant but I thought I'd put it in here.

http://www.odditycentral.com/pics/vietnam-festival-is-dedicated-to-meeting-ex-lovers.html

It's a festival where old lovers meet up. Relationships don't work out as we all know, but once a year people who once shared something but are not married to each other meet up and reminisce about old times.

If they can arrange a bigger venue, Ill turn up next year :pac::pac:

XxMCRxBabyxX · 31-08-2013 02:47PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Please, the marriage had broken down at that stage, and Tiger frequented high end joints only.

Is that what he told you to get you into bed?

Why would anyone want to get married??

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